Page 119 of The Alpha's Cursed Queen

“From us,” he corrects me gently. “But no. It’s a day school in LA. They do have student dorms, but it is usually up to the older students whether they want to stay there or not. Mira is a royal. She’ll live with us. It’s a good school, Alice. And for her, it’s one of the best. The friends she’ll make will admire her gifts. They’ll be like her, smart and curious. She’ll learn how to control her wolf, how to fight, the skills of a diplomat and a leader. Shouldn’t we give our daughter the best life has to offer? That’s what every parent wants, isn’t it?”

I move away from him and sit down on the edge of the bed, my voice soft. “You’re right. I’ve been so scared of her standing out that I’ve been holding her back from reaching her full potential. I’ve always known I was, but I thought I was helping her. I could have sent her to a good private school, I suppose, but—”

“You were doing what you thought was best at the time,” Darian finishes simply. “There’s nothing wrong with that. She’s a happy, confident child, Alice. She’s sweet and thoughtful. You did that.” He kneels by my side, urging me to look at him. “And you can continue to be a lawyer, but I really want you near me.”

“I’m so close to making partner,” I whisper, hearing the yearning in my own voice. As soon as the words leave me, though, I realize how empty they sound in the face of everything. I take a deep breath. “But it’s fine. There are plenty of law firms in LA, and many have already tried to poach me.”

“Or you could open your own firm,” Darian suggests. “You have the experience and a network in place. It can’t be that hard. A new adventure.”

“For all three of us.” I smile, my heart feeling light. Losing the potential partnership doesn’t seem that bad, in retrospect. It’s not easy to let go of all my plans and dreams, but maybe this isn’t letting go of them. They are simply transforming into something else. Expanding.

There are still questions and doubts within me, but a few things I know for certain: I want to leave the past where it belongs, in the past. I want Mira to have her father in her life. And I want to be happy.

Forgiveness is not easy. My therapist used to say it was like unburdening the soul. To me, however, it feels like a strain on my soul as it slowly lets go of the years of hate, anger, and bitterness. But I want to do this, and my feelings for Darian are still there. Maybe they are amplified by the mating bond; maybe a part of me has missed him. Either way, I don’t want Willow to take him from me a second time. So, I will work through this and rebuild our relationship.

I look into Darian’s eyes and take a deep breath. This is the right decision.

He smiles, the corner of his eyes crinkling, but there’s a hint of sadness in his eyes. “You’ve forgiven me, but do you love me, Alice?”

His question doesn’t surprise me.

“I did,” I admit quietly. “Back then, I did. A lot of time has passed, Darian.”

He lowers his head into my lap, sighing. “I guess the difference is that I was still in love with you when you left. But your feelings were tainted with betrayal and hurt.”

My fingers comb through his hair. “Maybe you’re right. But we are mates now.”

“I don’t want you to be with me out of some mating bond obligation.”

A bark of laughter leaves me. “Obligation? Believe me, I feel no obligation to do anything. I want to be with you. I want a second chance with you. I doubt I would be wanting that if there weren’t some feelings involved.”

“Feelings, but not love.”

I look down at him. The lights in the room are dim, creating an atmosphere of intimacy. “I told you before, Darian. My heart is badly scarred. The idea of love is terrifying. It made me vulnerable before. Even though my brain understands, it’s hard to let go of the fear. It would be easy to convince you that I do love you, but I want us to start with a clean slate. Lies should not be the foundation of a relationship.”

Darian straightens up and folds his arms across my knees. When he looks up at me, determination is shining in his eyes. “Iunderstand. I wasn’t expecting you to still be head over heels for me.”

I scoff, embarrassed. “I was never head over heels for you.”

“So says you.”

I grab a fistful of his dark hair. “They’re my feelings, so I think I qualify to be the best judge.”

“No, you don’t,” he replies dismissively. “You were head over heels for me. You couldn’t get enough of me.”

I reach out to grab the pillow behind me, proceeding to slam it down onto his face. He’s stronger than me but doesn’t resist. His laughter annoys me enough to keep it there.

“You can’t suffocate me. I’m your mate, the future love of your life.”

I push harder in retaliation, and he just laughs even more before ripping the pillow from my hands and tossing it onto the bed. “That’s not very nice.”

“I had to try.”

He takes my hands and kisses the center of my palms. “It won’t be that easy to get rid of me. And I’ll win back your heart.”

I smile at him, not knowing what to say. Life’s cruelties, constant hardship, and motherhood have driven out every last speck of romantic fantasy if I ever had any, replacing it with a sense of practicality. Deep inside, I’m happy, but I don’t know how to express it. There are feelings for this man in my heart, feelings that no amount of anger was able to squash, but I don’t know if they are love. I don’t know what love feels like anymore. Darianwas the first man I thought I loved. Now he is my mate, and that intense pressure of emotion I used to feel for him isn’t there. What I feel now is something lighter, an emotion that centers me.

I don’t know what to call it.

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