Page 36 of Rejected and Regretted

What the hell was wrong with me?

Maybe this was a terrible idea. Scratch that - it was unequivocally the worst decision I’d ever made. Returning to Whispering Hills resurrected a part of me I believed to be long buried. I thought I had killed young, naive, and love-stricken Avril. Yet, the longer I stayed here, the more it felt like she wasclawing her way out of her tomb, threatening to destroy every wall I had put up for my own safety.

Koen made me feel things tonight I never thought I would feel again. Things Ididn’t wantto feel - not for anyone, and especially not for him. All this time, I thought I was manipulating him, but it was the other way around. I’d assumed I could beat him, but I was wrong. As much as I hated losing, I had to accept the truth - I wasn’t strong enough to keep playing this game.

Before I could run for the hills, a quiet whisper echoed in my mind.“It’s my fault,”Kea admitted. When she sensed my confusion, she continued,“I’ve been trying my hardest to block Koen and Col out. To keep the past in the past, for they chose not to be a part of our future. But I can’t. No matter how hard I try to ignore it, the remnants of our broken bond still pull me toward him. I’m sorry, Avril. It’s all my fault.”

I could feel her guilt, but I couldn’t find it in me to be mad at her. Wolves mated for life. Even if my humanity kept me from running into the arms of the man who had shattered me, the wolf inside me could never feel complete without her soulmate, regardless of how badly he hurt us.

“It’s true,”she agreed.“I can hate our mate for what he did, but I can’t stop loving him. I’m sorry for making it harder for you to resist them as well.”A long whimper escaped her, followed by a short pause. When she spoke again, she sounded less broken and much more determined.“You should start taking silver.”

Shocked, I immediately asked,“What?”

“Do it,”she insisted.“It will weaken me, thus weakening the effects of the broken bond we share with our mate. It’ll make it easier for you to keep him out,”she clarified, and I found myself considering it.

Honestly, when I was this desperate, her idea didn’t sound bad at all. While the poison would make it not only harder for me to connect with Kea, but also weaken my enhanced abilities, I didn’t need them now. I had Theo and Elijah to protect me should danger find us. Besides, it would also help mask my true essence, which meant I would be able to spend less energy trying to suppress my alpha aura and focus on avoiding Koen.

Reaching for my backpack, I scoured through it for the vial containing liquid silver, which I carried with me for emergencies. Drinking all of it would put me in a coma, but taking small doses every day would merely keep my animal side under. Before I could change my mind, I took a sip, feeling the liquid burn its way down my throat.

In a matter of seconds, I felt my wolf slip out of consciousness. She would be in and out as long as I kept taking the poison, but it was only a temporary measure. I only needed a few more days. When Wednesday rolled around, I would retrieve what I came here to get.

And I would be gone before Koen could succeed in gaining control over me again.

23

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A V R I L

Since I startedtaking silver, my beta and gamma had been watching me like hawks. They were never more than fifty feet away from me, afraid I would get mauled by some psycho if they weren’t paying attention. I was honestly getting tired of having them constantly breathing down on my neck, but I couldn’t blame them.

As not only my closest friends, but also my second- and third-in-command, it was natural for them to be protective of me, especially when I couldn’t rely on my wolf strength and heightened senses. I was vulnerable in a place where no one really liked me. Though I was certain that what Koen did to Angelica and Chad served as examples of what he would do to anyone who tried to harm his guest, as no one else had bothered me since.

Speaking of Koen, he had been keeping his distance for the past few days. The last time we had talked outside of some politehelloswas the night we went into the city. I caught myself wondering if he was staying true to the promise he had made - the only condition under which I accepted to go out with him.

Strangely enough, I was conflicted about how I felt regarding his absence. I expected to feel relieved, but part of me still wanted to know what drove him away right after he…kissedme…andI kissed him back. Thankfully, Kea was right about one thing - it was indeed easier not to overthink my relationship with Koen when she was barely conscious. So, every time he crossed my mind, I just pushed him away as fast as I could.

“Are you looking for him?” Theo’s voice shook me back to reality after I zoned out while we were strolling across the busy town square.

I immediately frowned. “What? Obviously not! I just got distracted,” I promptly explained, though I was compelled to consider if there was any chance I was subconsciously doing what my beta had just accused me of.

Focus. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I eagerly dismissed it, like I did every other time. It was easy; just as quickly as the subject popped up in my mind, it vanished.

“It still doesn’t make any sense to me,” Elijah spoke next, a slightly annoyed expression illustrated on his face. “If your wolf really does want him back, and he feels the same way, then what’s the matter?”

A low growl escaped me at his insistent question. He didn’t wince or lower his head, as he would whenever I signaled that he was irritating me. It evidenced how he not only disapproved of my decision to take wolfsbane, but also my relationship choices.

“When I wanted him…” -when Ineededhim- “he turned me down. He forfeited the chance to be with me when he rejected me the minute I turned eighteen. I don’t care how he or Kea feel -I’mthe one who doesn’t wanthimnow,” I explained. “Besides, I don’t really believe he feels anything for me. At best, his wolf might still hold some sort of connection to mine, and even Kea says I should stay away from him.” I noticed Elijah open his mouth to argue, but I didn’t let him . “For better or for worse, there will never be anything between us. Get that through your head,” I snarled, putting an end to the subject. “Now, if you’dlike to review our plan for tonight, that’s a topic I’d actually value your insight on.”

Today, Koen and his men were leaving to hunt again, meaning I would once more have the chance to sneak into the upper floors of the pack house. Hopefully, this time I would succeed. Then, I’d finally be able to leave this madness and forget all about the alpha who messed with my head.

“Maybe now’s not the best time,” Theo observed, to my surprise. Only when I looked in the direction he subtly pointed at with his head did I understand what he meant.

Koen was standing with his Beta right ahead of us. He wasn’t too close, but he was definitely close enough for his werewolf hearing to pick up on our conversation. As if he could sense my presence, he darted his head at me, making me freeze with his glance alone. Instead of immediately looking away, like he had been doing for the past few days, his gaze lingered on me, until I was forced to break eye contact. There was no way in hell I’d let myself be affected by him now.

Or so I thought, until he suddenly appeared in front of me, almost making me scream bloody murder as I jumped back.

“Koen,” I greeted him first as I recovered from the jumpscare.

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