The next morning when I woke up, Turk was already out of bed.
“Rise and shine, navvie,” he said casually, as I opened my eyes. “Time to get dressed. Here.” He threw my uniform at me and I caught it reflexively, yawning as I did so.
“Um, okay,” I said. “I’m just going to use the restroom first.”
I was going to get dressed in there, too. The Synth implant had worked well so far, but I still didn’t like getting naked in front of him—it made me feel too vulnerable.
“Go ahead—I’ll wait for you in my Ready Room,” he told me.
“You don’t have to wait—you can go down to the Mess Hall without me,” I offered.
Turk shook his head and frowned.
“I don’t think so. Both Jerx and Gurflug hate you now—I’m going to stay with you and watch your back to be sure nothing happens.”
“Okay.” I nibbled my bottom lip, wondering what to say. “Um, Captain, about last night?—”
“Nothing happened last night.” His eyes flashed briefly and there was a note of warning in his deep voice. Clearly in thelight of day—or what passed for day out here in Deep Space—he wanted to forget the kiss we’d shared.
I can’t lie—I felt hurt. But I understood. There isn’t as big a stigma around same-sex love in the Brutal Clans as there is among the humans, but all the same, you almost never meet an openly gay Clansmen. Especially not high in the ranks, like Turk was. It’s not exactly forbidden but it is frowned upon. And since he thought I was a male, he clearly didn’t want to admit to having any kind of feelings for me.
“I only kissed you because of your Catamite blood—it makes you smell like a female,” he said and ran a hand over his curving horns. “That’s what attracted me. That and those big eyes and your soft lips—” He broke off abruptly and shook his head. “Anyway, it won’t happen again and we’re not going to fucking speak of it again either,” he growled. “Understand?”
“Yes, Sir,” I said quickly.
“Good.” He nodded sharply. “Now hurry up and get dressed—we need to get down to breakfast.”
“Yes, Sir,” I said again and hurried into the bathroom.
I dressed as fast as I could and when I came out into the Ready Room, Turk was waiting for me. He seemed to be in a slightly better mood—at least, his face no longer looked like a thundercloud.
“That course you plotted yesterday when you got us ahead of schedule—do you think you can do it again?” he asked as we walked through the Bridge together. “The sooner we get to the Triplex Cluster, the better. I’ll have more time to trade for what my Chieftain wants.”
“Yes, if you’ll trust me,” I said.
His face darkened.
“I trust you a Hell of a lot more than fucking Gurflug. Never should have hired that bastard.”
“I can double check all his routes,” I offered. “I mean, if you want me to.”
“Yes, I do. He won’t like it but that’s too fucking bad.” Turk nodded decisively. “In fact, I may offer him a buyout on his contract once we get to the Cluster. Let him fuck off to another ship—if he can find one that wants a Prima Donna for a Cross-Dimensional Navigator.”
“Do you think the men aboard The Illyrian will trust me to guide them home?” I asked uncertainly.
He nodded.
“Just pull off a few more maneuvers like the one yesterday—and we’ll celebrate every time. You’ll become known as a ‘boy genius.’ They’ll love that.”
“I’m not really a boy, you know,” I said.
“What?” He was leading the way down the long white corridor to the Mess Hall but he turned and stared at me sharply. “Whatdid you say?”
“Oh, I meant that I’m of age,” I said quickly. “I’m not a boy because I’m aman.” Goddess, it still felt so strange to say that! And it hurt to keep lying to my Fated Mate. But I didn’t feel that I had any other choice.
“Oh…of course.” He nodded and turned to keep walking, dodging nimbly around the occasional pipe and other obstacles. He really was extremely graceful for a male of his size.
We kept on talking ship’s business and Cross-Dimensional Navigation all though breakfast. Turk asked me several questions and nodded thoughtfully when I answered. I noticed some of the other Crewmembers around us listening in and understood what he was doing—he was showing off my knowledge without being too obvious about it. He wanted the Crew to trust me and he was helping me gain that trust in a roundabout way.