Page 12 of Archangel

She stepped back and gestured inside. Our cabins were the same. Other than the bed, there was a small table with two chairs and not much else. I took a seat at the table and indicated for her to do the same.

“Do you mind if I go to the bathroom first?”

I winced, but nodded. “Of course. Take your time.” I had to be careful here. Really fucking careful.

She disappeared into the bathroom, and I scrubbed a hand over my face. I’d really fucked this to shit and back. I had to find a way to fix this, more for Sonya’s sake than my own. I’d take whatever Thorn dished out because I could have stopped fucking her at any time. But I didn’t want her getting hurt more than she already had been. She deserved a better man than me. Someone she could grow old with. While I knew I’d never look at another woman as long as I lived, she had her whole life ahead of her. The last thing she needed was a man twice her age.

The second she opened the bathroom door and took the three steps from the door to the chair, any hope I had of keeping her at arm’s length vanished. Nope. Sonya was mine. The look on her face, the uncertainty and dread, made me want to kick my own ass. Not because I’d fucked her. Because I hadn’t held on to her after I’d realized what the fuck was happening.

“So?” She laced her fingers tightly together in front of her on the table. “What did you want to talk about?”

Chapter Five

Sonya

What had started out as a fantastic idea had rapidly… devolved. Not only had I made a fool of myself, but I had touched Archangel without permission, which had put him in a tenuous position. Especially if my father found out. If the positions had been reversed, there was no one in either Salvation’s Bane or Black Reign who wouldn’t kill Archangel for taking advantage of me. I get the dynamics were different and he was both mentally -- in terms of age and life experience -- and physically my superior. He could have fought me off where I’d have been at his mercy. But the end result was still the same. I’d sat at the table with every intention of playing off the whole incident, but the truth was, what I’d done was inexcusable.

Before Archangel could say anything, I ducked my head so he couldn’t see tears forming. “I’m sorry, Archangel.” I whispered. “I didn’t think about what would happen after. I only thought about what I wanted and that if you didn’t, you’d stop me.”

Archangel let out a long breath. Then he reached out to put both his big hands over mine. “Look at me, Sonya.” I shook my head, but he simply reached out with one hand and tilted my chin up. “Yes.” When I still refused to look at him, he brushed my lower lip with his thumb. “Give me your lovely eyes, little Sonya.”

I gasped in a small breath. There was such gentleness in his voice and touch, I had to comply. But when I met his gaze, the heat and need I saw reflected my own. Sex with Archangel had surpassed my every fantasy and left me longing for so much more. Looked like he’d enjoyed himself too.

“Sonya.” His voice was rough, gravelly as he stared into my eyes intently, obviously wanting me to believe whatever he was about to say next. “Whatever you think you did wrong, don’t. If I’d truly wanted to stop things before they got out of hand, I could have. My inaction is on me.”

His eyes were swirls of gray and green that seemed to shift with his emotions, but there was a softness in them that caught me off-guard, making my chest tighten and my breath catch. I wasn’t sure exactly what he was feeling, but whatever emotion was dominant was something he embraced with his whole heart. Archangel was a hardened man with internal walls built out of concrete and steel. Yet, here he was revealing a vulnerability I was quite sure he’d rarely shown to anyone before.

“I’m sorry.” I couldn’t help the apology. It needed to be said.

“OK. Apology accepted.” He gave me a hint of a smile. “The real problem is, you’re right. You didn’t think.” His tone was gentle, and he didn’t break eye contact with me. “What you did, Sonya… It was dangerous. Reckless even. As much as you enjoyed it, as fan-fucking-tastic as it was for me, we can’t ignore the possible consequences.”

“I understand that,” I replied in a barely audible whisper. A single tear slipped and traced its way down my cheek. I was well aware of the damage that could already have been done. We hadn’t used a condom, but I couldn’t say I’d have done anything differently if I’d been given the opportunity. So, yeah. He was right about consequences. What kind of person did that make me?

His gaze softened, and he reached out to wipe my tear away with his thumb, his touch tender and lingered longer than I’d have liked given he hadn’t declared his undying love for me. I knew that was a laughable fantasy, but it was still my fantasy. “It’s going to be okay, Sonya. But we need to clear a few things up.” His voice had an intensity I found impossible to ignore.

He leaned back in his chair, giving both of us space to breathe. I watched him swallow hard, the movement of his Adam’s apple jerking my heart in a painful beat. Archangel didn’t seem like a man who was at loss of words, yet here he was struggling to find the right ones. And even though I wanted him to speak, to clarify the muddled mess in my mind, I also dreaded his next words because they might shatter me completely.

“Sonya.” The word came out barely audible, as if caught in his throat. “What happened between us… it can’t happen again.”

I’d known he was going to say something like this. He wasn’t wrong. Hearing him voice it, though, was a punch to my gut. I stood slowly and moved to the window in front of the counter running along half the back wall. I braced my hands on the flat surface and took a deep breath. I was very much afraid I might cry if I didn’t get a grip on myself. I wasn’t sure what hurt more, his words or the fact he was right.

After a moment, I felt Archangel move in behind me. His body caged me in, his hands on either side of me where I stood with my back against the counter, which surprised me. He was telling me that us having sex had been wrong, but now he was all up in my space? I gritted my teeth against the urge to lean back against him. I still had some pride.

“Sonya.” His voice was rich with emotion when he finally spoke again. He pressed his body against me. I sucked in a breath. I could feel the heat coming off of him. How was I supposed to resist this attraction when he was clearly baiting me?

“I don’t mean to hurt you.” His voice faded away like a summer breeze before he could finish, leaving behind an emptiness that echoed the hollow feeling inside me.

I turned to face him then, preparing to meet those gray eyes of his with an unconcerned look. “You didn’t.” I smiled up at him. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have touched you without your permission.”

“Honey, I don’t care about that.” He was looking at me intently now. His brows drew together as he continued to stare at me. Then Archangel shivered slightly, his eyes narrowing. His jaw clenched. Very slowly, he leaned back away from me. He didn’t take his hands from the counter or his gaze away from mine. “Fuck me,” he whispered. The next thing I knew, Archangel was kissing me like his life depended on it. And I surrendered to him.

The feel of his lips against mine was like nothing I’d ever known. They were firm and demanding, yet tempered. There was something far more intimate in Archangel’s kisses that left me with no room to think about anything else but the taste of him and the way he made me feel. His hand slid up my spine and into my hair, holding me still as he plundered my mouth like he was starving for me. I knew I was starving for him. I’d had a taste before and wanted so much more.

He pulled away abruptly. Breathing heavily, he stared down at me. “I can’t do this. Not with you.” He shoved away and walked out of the cabin, leaving me standing there, shaking and lost. OK, that comment hurt. Not with me?

I followed him out the door, fully expecting to have to hurry to catch him before he got inside his own cabin. Surprisingly, he stood just outside on the tiny porch, bracing himself against the railing with his hands. He was obviously struggling with something, but I had my own thoughts to worry about. Like I’d let this man take me to unmanageable heights and wasn’t willing to never experience sex with him again.

“What does that mean?” I demanded, moving around to see as much of his face as I could. I needed to see his expression clearly. “Not with me.”

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