Page 97 of The Drummer's Heart

“Atticus and I have stayed in touch since we visited Mimi, and we…reconnected when I went out to California for that wedding.”

My mother turned to him. “I wanted better for her than to get back with you.”

My stomach sank. That wasn’t fair. Atticus looked like she’d just stabbed him in the heart. “Mom…” I scolded.

After a brief moment of shock, he straightened. I recognized the fighting look in his eyes. He wouldn’t back down easily. Atticus looked over at me. “It’s okay, baby. I can take it.” Heturned to my mother. “I get why you’re apprehensive, Maria. But I’ll earn your trust back.”

“Do you know how long it took her to get over what happened with you? What she deserves after all that is a fresh start. But obviously, with a child in the picture—or I should sayanotherchild for you—that won’t be happening.”

My mother’s reaction was harsher than I’d expected. She was even more scarred by what happened to me, and likely how it related to her past with my father, than I’d realized.

“Your daughter and I have been through a lot, but I think even you can agree there’s never been a doubt about how much I love her,” Atticus said calmly. “This baby is a blessing, and I hope you’ll see it that way eventually. But I never want Nicole to feel stuck with me, and I’ve expressed that to her. While I will always be here for this child, I only want her to give me her heart if that’s whatshetruly wants for herself. She will always have a choice.”

Mom crossed her arms over her chest. “I can see the baby as a blessing, but that doesn’t mean I believe Nicole should take you back after everything—”

“Mom, please stop!” I yelled.

But my mother refused to calm down. “Your grandmother would be rolling in her grave if she knew what really happened between you two. Not sure why I ever went along with your ruse to keep it from her.”

“That’s precisely why we worked hard to make sure she never found out. We didn’t want to hurt her,” Atticus insisted.

“Well…” My mother sighed. “Nicole is a grown woman. She can make her own decisions. And while I can accept and love this baby, because it’s my grandchild, I willnotaccept her being left alone to raise it while you do God knows what on the road.”

I closed my eyes a moment. My mother’s attitude was partially the result of my own attitude for so long; I knew that.She’d fed off of what I’d told her, so I couldn’t completely blame her. I’d used her as a sounding board, and that had backfired. I’d now have to work to get her to come around. It was likely something only time could fix.

Atticus continued to be resilient. “I can understand why you’re wary, Maria. And by all means, take the time you need to get used to this, but I’m not going anywhere. Never again—unlessshetells me to.” He walked over and wrapped his arm around me. “And for the record, if it were a matter of giving up my career or your daughter, I would choose her in a heartbeat. She hasn’t told me to make that choice, but it’s one I’m prepared for at any given moment.”

My eyes widened. I would never ask that of him, but it warmed me to hear him say it.

My mother’s shoulders relaxed a bit, and she walked over to me. “I’m sorry for not congratulating you. Obviously I’m thrilled to be having a grandchild. I just feel very protective of you.”

I smiled as I hugged her. “You don’t need to protect me. Atticus and I have both made mistakes in the past several years. We both played a hand in our breakup. But with this baby inside of me, I’m in a vulnerable place. Stress is not good for me right now. So while I’ve always valued your feedback, I need to kindly ask that you keep further negative opinions about Atticus to yourself.” I placed my hand on my stomach. “I know for certain that he’s going to be a damn good father to this baby, just like he’s a good father to his son.”

My mother nodded. “I won’t say anything else except congratulations again and I love you. And I hope to come visit you, wherever that may be, and help you when the time comes.”

“Thank you.” I nodded. “I appreciate that.”

“It’s a shame that Mimi passed before you could tell her,” she added. “She would’ve been so happy to be having a great-grandchild.” She grabbed a donut and one of the coffees Atticus had brought. “I’ll be out in the yard for a bit.”

As she slipped out, Atticus took me in his arms. “I had no idea your mother harbored so much resentment toward me. But I shouldn’t be surprised.”

I shook my head. “It’s my fault for the way I handled things for so long. I turned her against you, and I’m sorry. Both of us have had our share of fucking up. I started it. You finished it. But we’re both still here. And I love you.” I placed my hand on his face. “All Mimi wanted was the best for us. The least I can do to honor her memory is start being honest with myself. I love you. I never stopped, and I want this baby with you so much. You don’t need to give anything up. I wouldn’t let you do that. We’ll figure it out, okay?”

His eyes glistened. “Nicole…my love. I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but I’ll take it. The only opinion that matters to me is yours. And to hear those words come out of your mouth again?” He held me in his arms. “I love you so much, baby.”

After a moment, Atticus picked up the remaining coffees and offered me one. “Let’s take our coffees for a walk.”

“Now? We still have so much work to do.”

“It can wait. We need to clear our heads and get caffeinated—well, half-caf for you. The fresh air will do us good.”

My head was pounding, so I wasn’t going to argue. “Okay.” I pulled back the lid and took the first glorious sip as we headed out the door.

A couple of blocks down the road, we passed my dream house, the white one that had purple flower baskets out front in the spring and summer.

I sighed. “There she is…”

“You still love that house, huh?”

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