Page 66 of The Drummer's Heart

Mimi reached a shaky hand toward her granddaughter. “Well, I suppose it’s time you lovebirds got back to your own life. You’ve been here long enough, and I’ve hated to inconvenience you.”

“Are you kidding?” I said. “This has been the best time I’ve had in a long while. And I’m sorry I went so long without seeing you. I won’t let it happen ever again.”

I meant that. I flew back and forth between New York and L.A. a lot and vowed to see Mimi whenever I was on the East Coast.

She shook her head. “You don’t worry about anything except taking care of my beautiful granddaughter.”

I smiled at Nicole. Mimi had no idea how much I wished that were still my responsibility.

***

That afternoon, a woman named Fiona Baumgartner came by to meet Mimi. Fiona was a widow who’d grown up here in Monksville. She definitely had the experience for the job, having had two elderly clients in a row over the past decade.

After showing Fiona around and describing Mimi’s routine in detail, Nicole and I left her alone with Mimi for a bit. We’d told her we’d return in an hour.

In the meantime, we walked around the neighborhood, circling the block a couple of times before I decided to broach the subject on my mind.

“Even though this trip ran longer than expected, things are coming to an end faster than I’m ready for,” I said. “I want to make sure you know how much this time has meant to me. Even fighting with you is better than not communicating, never seeing you. This time has broken the ice between us, and I never want to go back to the way things were when we weren’t speaking. Even if I can’t have you as my wife, Nicole, you mean so much to me. I want to be your friend, at the very least.”

She stopped walking and turned to me. “I don’t knowhowto be friends with you, though, Atticus. I don’t know how to be around you and not feeleverything—the good and the bad.”

A wave of panic hit. Didshewant things to go back to the way they were? “So what’s the alternative?” I asked. “Never seeing me again because you feeltoo much?” I shook my head. “Notan option for me. I’m willing to feel it all, Nicole, even if it kills me. I don’t want to live in a world where the mention of my name makes you sad. I don’t want to live in a world where one of the guys mentions you, and I can’t perform well for the rest of the night. We’ve been through too much together to remain strangers like we’ve been for the past few years,” I pleaded. “I need you in my life.”

“What does that life look like if we’re not together? You can’t handle the idea of me moving on any more than I could handle the same.”

That was exactly right. Deep down, I knew my version of staying in touch was different from hers. Mine meant working toward ultimately being together again. But if she didn’t see it that way, she was right. Staying in touchwouldn’tbe easy. I’d never handle being around her if she was with another man.Never.

Still, I warned myself to slow my roll.

“I don’t have the exact answer, Nicole, but maybe it starts with a promise to call each other once in a while. To check in.”

After a pause that felt like a lifetime, Nicole nodded. “I can do that.”

A rush of relief washed over me, and we resumed walking. At one point, we passed the house she’d always said was her dream home here in town. I didn’t say anything, but I could tell by the look on her face that she was thinking about it, too.

When we returned to Mimi’s, we found her and Fiona laughing together in the bedroom.

“You two getting along?” Nicole asked.

Fiona smiled. “I have to say, Miss Mimi here is a hoot. I think I hit the jackpot.”

“Aw, well, we’re glad you see what we see,” Nicole said.

“I can start any time if you two need to get on with your lives.”

“Like how soon?” I asked.

Fiona stood. “How about tomorrow?”

My pulse raced. “Tomorrow?”

“That would be fantastic,” Nicole answered faster than I could process this.

***

That night before bed, I called Ronan to update him on the latest situation.

“Dude! When are you coming back to L.A.?” he asked in greeting.

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