Page 44 of The Drummer's Heart

The smirk on his face was so damn sexy. I hated that this man could make me feel like my body was on fire just by looking at me. I wanted to run my hands through his hair so badly that my fingertips tingled. I wanted to kiss him and forget about the past for one damn day.

These feelings were troubling, to say the least.

“Heard you get up,” he said, “so I prepared your coffee. Mimi’s also had her breakfast. She should be good for a while butprobably needs to be changed soon. She still won’t let me do it.” He turned to leave the kitchen.

“Where are you going?”

“My drums are about to arrive. Got a text from the delivery guy that he’s only a few minutes away.” Atticus disappeared down the hall.

After I tended to my grandmother, I returned to the kitchen and heated up the coffee Atticus had prepared for me earlier.

Still consumed by our conversation last night, I took advantage of him being out of the house and went back to the room to open my laptop. Though I knew it would upset me, I clicked into another of Atticus’s lost emails.

Nicole,

You could at least let me know you’re receiving these messages.

I wrote a song for you.

Ready?

There once was a girl named Nicole.

She ate me up and swallowed me whole.

But I got what I deserved.

My beautiful wife.

I ruined her life.

Anyway, I’m too messed up to finish it, but you get the point.

That’s why I don’t write songs. I leave that to Tristan.

SO fucked up right now.

Not alcohol, but I took something. I don’t even know what the fuck it was. Someone gave it to me. Stupid, I know.

Kind of defeats my three-drink rule if I’m moving on to other things, I guess. But I really need to forget today.

I need to forget that you’re not mine anymore.

That you’re with him now.

So, I got fucked up.

Did I mention that?

It won’t happen again.

He posted a photo of you and him.

And I can’t unsee it.

I hate you. (I love you.)

Always lost without you,

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