Page 24 of The Drummer's Heart

“You became famous overnight…”

“It felt like overnight in some ways, yeah. No one was prepared for it.”

“So, would you say your career was what ultimately cost you your marriage?”

“At first, that was the cause. But it wasn’tultimatelythe case.” I paused. “It’s not why we’re not together now.”

Dr. Jensen tilted her head. “What’s the reason you’re not together?”

My chest constricted. “Definitely not ready to go there today.”

“Okay. Baby steps. Let’s return to the present for a moment.” She smiled reassuringly. “What has it been like living with Nicole under the recent circumstances?”

I sighed. “Things are tense, but more than anything? I just feel grateful to have time with her again. I can thank Mimi for that.”

“Why do you think she believes her grandmother can’t handle the truth about your divorce?”

“I know Mimi would be heartbroken. Her generation didn’t believe in divorce. She took Nicole’s parents’ split really hard, even knowing what Nicole’s dad had done. And Mimi really believed in Nicole and me, that what we had was true love and unbreakable. We were her hope for the future. She’s an old romantic.”

Dr. Jensen smiled. “Mimi is theonlyold romantic in this situation? Sounds to me like you’re holding a lot of romantic feelings yourself.”

I nodded. “I do have a romantic side. And I’d give anything to be able to love on my wife again.” I picked at my callused fingers. “Unfortunately, that’s not possible.”

“Yourwife. It’s interesting that you still refer to her that way.” Dr. Jensen wrote in her notebook again. “Anyway, why have you given up hope?”

I swallowed. “Because some damage is irreparable.”

CHAPTER 8

NICOLE

Somehow I woke with my ass up against Atticus the following morning. I had no idea how long I’d been sleeping like that. But I’d felt his hardness against my backside the moment I opened my eyes. And I’d chosen to stay in this position for a while, allowing his heat to slowly light me on fire. It felt too good to move.

Atticus’s breathing was still steady. He remained fast asleep, unaware of his own vulnerability. Only when I forced myself away did he rustle awake. I hopped out of bed, feeling guilty for having stayed up against him for so long.

“What’s going on?” he asked groggily.

“You need to stay on your side of the bed,” I snapped.

He looked down at himself. “Sorry. I can’t be responsible for anything that happens when I’m sleeping.”

Of course I knew that. But per usual, I didn’t know how to handle my own weakness for the man. “I’m sorry. I know that. I’m just…”Horny.And desperate.Desperately still in love with you.

He tugged at his hair. “It hasn’t been easy for me.”

“What specifically?”

“Sleeping next to you.” He grimaced. “When you suggested it, you didn’t seem to think it was a big deal. But it’s been hard for me. I can’t just pretend I don’t want you every second you’re near me. Maybe Idoneed to figure out some other sleeping arrangement.”

I gulped, afraid to admit that I’d felt the same.

“I’m sorry if I wake up hard,” he said, eyes boring into me. “Or if my body naturally veers to your side of the bed because it remembers how damn good that felt. I’m sorry if I still can’t help the way I look at you. I’m sorry if I still think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. I’m sorry if I’m not perfect at this. I’m sorry that being here is harder than I ever fucking imagined, Nicole. Way harder than my fucking dick could ever be.” He threw a shirt over his head and pulled on pants before storming out of the room.

My legs felt weak. I was a fraud. It had been hard for me, too. I just wasn’t willing to admit it.

When I finally garnered the courage to meet him out in the kitchen, Atticus set his empty coffee mug down in the sink.

“I made you one.” He pointed to a mug on the counter. “You might need to heat it up in the microwave.”

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