Page 101 of The Drummer's Heart

“How long are you here?”

She shrugged. “You tell me.”

I blinked. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m here for as long as you need me. Honestly, being in the salon with all the chemicals was making me sick. It’s not good for the baby. But that’s just the official excuse to do what my heart has wanted from the beginning. I want to be here with you. I’ve just been scared to go on tour. But I need to get over it.”

My heart felt ready to explode. “You’re staying on tour with me?”

“If you can make room for us.” She smiled and patted her stomach.

“You have no idea what this means to me.”

“It’s not just for you. It’s for me, too. If we’re really gonna do this, Atticus, I have to get used to this life—your life. I have to stop being afraid of it. I have to stop thinking it’s the enemy and embrace it. It’s a part of you.”

I took her face in my hands and planted a long kiss on her lips. “I promise you won’t regret being here. We’ll spend every moment together that I’m not performing.”

“You don’t have to go that far…”

“You’re gonna be so fucking sick of me!” I yelled to the back of the bus. “Hey, Tristan! I’m gonna need the bedroom for my pregnant wife.”

“Already on it. Clearing out my shit. I think you’ve finally earned it. Although if Emily comes to visit, we may need to cave and get a second bus with a bedroom.”

Ronan groaned. “Talk about feeling like the odd man out. I’d better get a woman soon so I can secure my own bedroom in the back of the bus. Apparently, you have to be a lead singer or a whipped man to avoid sleeping on the bunks.”

“When your ass gets into a real relationship, I’ll be happy to give up my room for you, too,” Tristan assured him.

“If you’ll excuse me, I need to spend some time with my wife.” I took Nicole’s hand and led her to the bedroom at the back of the bus.

She lay down on the bed. “You keep calling me your wife.”

I closed the door and locked it. “Youaremy wife.”

“Technically I’m not anymore.”

I crawled onto the bed and faced her. “You’re the love of my wife…” I shook my head. “I mean mylife. God, I’m still soshocked you’re here… I can’t think straight and don’t know how to talk. But the bottom line is, youaremy wife. You always will be. A piece of paper means shit.” I kissed her nose. “Not only can I not believe you’re here, I can’t believe you’re actually gonna see me perform in an arena for the first time.”

Nicole and I had split before my first major tour.

She got a funny look on her face.

“What?”

“I actuallyhaveseen you perform in a larger venue…”

I squinted. “What are you talking about?”

Nicole looked away. “I was never gonna admit this…” She paused. “But a couple years back, I bought a ticket to see you guys. I went to one of your shows here in Philly, actually.”

“You did?” My chest constricted. “How the hell did I not know this?”

“The seats were horrible.” She chuckled.

“Well, I certainly could’ve done better if you’d just told me.”

She shook her head. “It was a last-minute decision. We weren’t exactly talking. As sad as I was, I missed you so damn much. I just wanted to be near you for one night, to be in the same slice of the world for a couple of hours—without you knowing, of course.” Her voice shook. “I was with Julian at the time. I lied and told him I was going on a girls’ weekend with some friends. I drove to Philly by myself, stayed in a hotel, waited in line with my shitty ticket, and sat in the nosebleeds.”

“Jesus. It fucking breaks my heart that you were in the audience, and I didn’t know you were there.”

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