Page 84 of The Drummer's Heart

She nodded.

Giselle was pretty, much to my dismay. Her red hair framed her heart-shaped face. She had bright blue eyes that were full of expression. She wore a black Patagonia jacket and seemed like a ghost who’d come to life. It had been my goalneverto cross paths with this woman. But here she was in broad daylight. I’d never be able to go back now.

My throat felt ready to close. “I’m sorry. I thought you were the sitter.”

“She had the day off today.” Giselle smiled as she looked over at her son in the sandbox. “Did Atticus tell you to come here because he figured I wasn’t with Christian at this time?” She shook her head. “You know, I’ve told him multiple times that you’re welcome to come to the house anytime to meet my son…”

“Yes. He did mention that, but I was hesitant and thought this might be more convenient. I’m sorry if it’s awkward. I was just trying to take baby steps.” I exhaled. “And I’m sorry I didn’t know who you were. I’ve never seen photos of you.”

“What do you think?” She chuckled.

I narrowed my eyes. “You could stand to be a whole lot less attractive…”

“Well, thank you. Not bad for someone hardly getting any sleep, right?” She sighed. “I can see why he’s so obsessed with you, though. You’re drop-dead gorgeous.”

Before I could respond to that, Christian came running over, interrupting our conversation. He handed Giselle a stem of some sort that he’d picked up off the ground. In his other hand was a red lollipop.

I knelt down to be closer to Christian’s eye level, but looked up at her. “Can I?”

“Of course.” She nodded encouragingly.

“Hi,” I said, awkwardly.

The little boy waved at me then promptly ran away.

“He’s beautiful,” I told her, still kneeling.

We watched as Christian began to climb up a little blue slide.

I stood slowly. “I should’ve had the balls to come to your house or to call first for a formal introduction. I’m sorry for showing up like this.”

“Look…” she said, her expression turning serious. “I get it. You have your reasons for being apprehensive.” She kept her gaze on Christian. “The night I met Atticus, I had no idea how complicated his personal life was. I didn’t know much about him, except that he was the drummer for Delirious Jones—certainly not that he’d been married and the ink wasn’t even dry on his divorce papers. If it makes you feel any better, I barely remember that night myself. Although I remember more than he does, which is apparently nothing.” She turned to look me in the eye. “Anyway, I never thought I’d see him again. I didn’t want a child any more than he did, Nicole. I’d just come out of a breakup myself. But there’s nothing now that I would change, because Christian is the single most important thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Of course. I can only imagine how much you love him.”

“My fiancé, David, loves him, too. He’s really embraced the role of father. Christian is lucky to have two dads in his life who love him. Atticus can’t be here every day, but he does the best he can and has been very generous in his support. I couldn’t ask for anything more, given the situation.”

This knowledge settled over me. I’d really been blind when it came to everything Atticus had been through since becoming a father. Even in his absence, he’d been a major part of my world,and yethiscurrent world was unfamiliar to me: Atticus, Giselle, and David coparenting. While I’d been wallowing in everything I’d lost, Atticus had been growing up fast, figuring out how to make this situation work for Christian. It made me incredibly proud of him.

“What made you come today of all days?” Giselle asked.

“It just felt like I’d been running away long enough. For some reason, it had to be today. I don’t really understand it.”

She nodded. “I can relate to that. Once I make up my mind that I’m gonna do something, I just want it done.” She sighed. “Well, I hope you can see there’s not anything to be afraid of.”

“Yeah. I can see that,” I murmured, turning my attention back to Christian, who was digging his hand into the pebbles that covered the playground.

“Does Atticus know you’re here?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t tell him in case I chickened out. And it was sort of a spur-of-the-moment decision. But he was the one who suggested I come see Christian first before meeting you.”

“That plan backfired.” She laughed.

“It did.” I shrugged.

“Well, I won’t say anything,” she assured me. “I’ll let you tell him.”

“I appreciate that.”

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