Page 80 of The Drummer's Heart

My mouth opened, but no sound came out—just the most intense orgasm I’d ever felt roll through my body. “Atticus…” I panted.

My muscles clamped down around him as I came. He pumped into me one last time as he shrieked, the force of his own orgasm shattering me as his hot cum filled my core.

We rocked back and forth for several minutes until there was nothing left in either of us.

“I’m afraid to let you go,” he whispered over me. “I don’t want to pull out.Ever. My beautiful wife.”

***

The following morning, I woke with Atticus spooning me, his arms wrapped tight. His cock was fully erect as it pressed against my ass. It felt just like old times at Mimi’s, except thateverythinghad changed since last night. It had felt right to make love to him, yet where would we go from here?

I tried not to give in to my fears right away. When I turned to face him, he was wide awake, just looking at me.

“Good morning,” I mewled.

“Good morning,” he said softly. “I never wanted morning to come, though.”

“Me neither. How long have you been up?”

“A while. I’ve been wired since last night and didn’t want to waste these moments with you by sleeping.” He buried his face in my chest. “I have an idea.”

Immediately turned on again by his scent, I dug my fingers into his hair. “What’s that?”

“Cancel your flight and come back to my house and never leave.”

“You’re not even joking, are you?”

He lifted his eyes to mine, flashing an adorable grin. “Nope. Not in the least.”

“I wish it were that easy.”

“Is there anything I could say or do that would convince you to stay here for at least a little while longer?”

It was tempting to just sayscrew everythingand stay in Cali for the week. But as the haze of last night lifted, I realized there was much more I had to work through before I’d be able to consider building a life with him again.

“I’m fully booked this week, so I have to get back.”

While that wasn’t a lie, it was a cop out.

Atticus nodded. “I understand.” He rested his chin on his hand. “For now. I understandfor now, Nicole. But I can’t acceptbeing apart from you forever. I need you to tell me what I have to do to get you back. I’ll do anything.”

Getting us back to a place where we could be together wasn’t just his responsibility.

“It’s not just whatyouneed to do, Atticus. It’s whatIneed to do, too. I need to come to terms with the biggest part of your life now. Don’t you see? Until I can do that, we’llneverbe able to make it work.”

“Don’t say never.” His face filled with fear. “I can’t handle never. How can I give you what you need to come to terms with it?” His eyes watered and a tear fell. I hadn’t seen him cry in a long time.

My voice shook. “I never imagined that the biggest part of your life wouldn’t be me. And though I know it’s not a competition, if I’m not absolutely certain I can learn to accept it, I can’t lead you on. Because it’s not justuswho stand to get hurt here.”

He sniffled. “I get it.”

I caught his next tear with my fingertip. “I’ve tried so hard to stop loving you, but I can’t. It’s not about that. I couldn’t love you any more than I do. You know that, right?”

He nodded. “I won’t ever stop fighting for us. But you’re right. We have to be willing to face everything. To feel the pain. I need to resign myself to the fact that you were with Julian and find a way to stop wanting to physically hurt him every time I think about it. And you…” He paused. “You need to face the person you fear the most, the person who happens to own the other part of my heart.”

Tears blinded my eyes as I nodded. “I need to meet him.”

CHAPTER 28

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