Page 7 of The Drummer's Heart

While Nicole and her mother were close, Mimi was a second mother to her. She’d helped raise her when her parents had to work. Nicole was an only child, and with her parents now divorced and living out of state, looking out for Mimi was mostly her responsibility. Nicole’s mom had moved down to Florida after she met a guy who ran a business that required him to be there half the year. As for Nicole’s dad, he lived a couple of hours away in Pennsylvania now. And he and Nicole hadn’t been as close since the divorce.

I stood in front of the door, hesitant to knock, trying to mark the last moment of peace before what I knew was going to be two of the toughest weeks of my life. A set of chimes blew in the wind as I continued to linger in front of the little white house with blue shutters.

I finally rapped on the door, my heart beating faster with each second.

When the door opened, Nicole looked even more beautiful than I remembered—probably because I’d tried toforgethow damn beautiful she was. The sun caught her blue eyes, herblack hair even longer now. A breeze blew her signature scent—Egyptian musk—in my direction. I felt instantly feral.

I am not going to survive this.

She forced a smile. “You made it.”

“I did.”

My eyes stayed locked on hers. In a matter of seconds, my heart was practically jumping out of my chest, my hands itching to pull her close.

She stepped aside, letting me in, and pushed her hair behind her ear. “Thank you again.”

“Stop thanking me,” I muttered. “Like I told you before, I’m not doing this for you.”

My harsh tone surprised even me.

“Of course you’re not doing it for me,” she whispered. “How could I forget that we hate each other now?”

“I don’t hate you,” I said.

I needed to be nicer and make more of an effort. My attitude was completely unnecessary. But it was a defense mechanism I couldn’t seem to help, a sad attempt to stave off my feelings. Being rude seemed like the only solution right now. Because the opposite would turn me into an emotional mess. Admitting how much I’d missed her would open a can of worms that needed to stay closed if I had any chance of surviving my time here.

“Where’s Mimi?”

Nicole pointed to a room off the living room. “She’s right in there, but she’s sleeping.”

I nodded and looked around.

The living room was tiny and held only a small, floral loveseat and a table. Not much room for anything else. The surrounding built-in shelves, though, were full of trinkets and figurines. The walls were covered with framed family photos, one of which featured a little Nicole smiling with her two front teeth missing. Two black pigtails.My girl. My heart clenched asI imagined the daughter we’d never have who might’ve looked just like her.

Then I found a framed photo of Nicole and me, taken on the trip to Las Vegas when we’d eloped. It had been snapped by someone who worked at the little chapel there. I was holding her up, big smiles on both our faces. She’d worn a little white mini-dress she’d purchased that morning, and I had on jeans and a black T-shirt.

Nicole had deserved a real wedding, but we were young and so in love and hadn’t wanted to wait. It was months before we’d even told our families we’d gotten married. This was the only wedding picture we had, but I remember Mimi gladly accepting it when we broke the news to her that we’d eloped. In retrospect, I was glad we hadn’t waited to get hitched, because I’d always cherish those early years when life was normal. If wehadwaited, my music career might’ve taken off first, and that would’ve thwarted everything. At least I’d had the chance to call her my wife before everything went to hell. After our private ceremony in Vegas, we’d gone out for sushi and taken in a Criss Angel show. It was a simple couple of days, but still two of the best ones in my life.

Forcing my eyes away from the photo, I sighed. “This is a small space.”

“It’s tiny, yeah.” She nodded. “After Mimi sold her house, she didn’t want to deal with cleaning a big place ever again. And now, of course, she can’t clean at all. So it’s just as well that there’s not much surface area.”

I walked over to one of the shelves, lifting a figurine of a cat dipping its paw into a goldfish bowl. “I should’ve bought Mimi a better place than this.”

“She wouldn’t have let you.”

That was probably true; Mimi had a lot of pride and always took care of herself. She’d worked for many years as a legalsecretary and put away nearly every red cent she’d made beyond what she needed to pay her bills.

After rolling my suitcase to a corner of the living room, I heard Mimi call, “Nicole, is he here? I hear talking.”

I guess she’s awake now.I couldn’t help but smile, although I felt ashamed all over again for how long it had been.

Following Nicole, I willed myself to stop staring at her butt. Of course, she had to be wearing cutoff jean shorts that taunted me.The things I used to do to that ass.I shut my eyes and swore at myself for letting my mind go there, for even a second.She’s not yours anymore.

Mimi’s eyes lit up when I entered the room. Her voice was hoarse. “Atticus…”

“Mimi,” I replied softly.

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