Page 61 of The Drummer's Heart

“Well, that’s good.”

Nicole turned around and within minutes seemed to be asleep.

As I climbed into bed, I tried not to analyze the fact that she’d so easily relaxed into sleep after I was back. Had she been waiting up for me?

I, on the other hand, was wired. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her little stomach-upset problem reminded me of the first time Nicole ever told me she had feelings for me.

As I nodded off, my mind drifted back to that day. At the time, it had been the best freaking day of my life.

CHAPTER 19

ATTICUS

PAST

It was anything but a typical Friday night down in Cassius’s basement. My nerves were fried because this was the first time I’d brought Kayla around. I’d only just started dating her. We’d hung out a few times alone, but never with my friends. More than anything, I was nervous about introducing her to Nicole.

I’d decided not to tell Nicole I had feelings for her before she left for college. I had a mad crush on her and always would, but it was better if we stayed friends, given the long-distance thing. She was such a good friend, and I wanted to make sure she stayed that way. That’s what I’d told myself at least—that I didn’t want to hold her back when she was about to leave home. Nicole was headed to the big city. And me? I was stuck in Monksville, still dreaming of some big break that would get me out of here and on my way to an actual music career. That was probably a pipe dream.

Anyway, I was pretty sure Nicole only saw me as a friend. She’d never given me any vibes that indicated otherwise. And I hadn’t had the balls to test it out. I’d never been afraid of rejection, but getting shot down by Nicole was something I didn’t think I could handle. That would make things awkward between us forever. So I kept my feelings inside.

We’d just finished playing a set in the basement—Cassius on the mic, Julian on guitar, and me on the drums. Kayla had been sitting next to Nicole on the couch the whole time, watching uspractice. It seemed like they were getting along, which brought me some relief. But I still felt weird about it because the girl I was dating was talking to the girl I’d been obsessed with for so long. If Kayla knew my true feelings for Nicole, she wouldn’t have been so friendly. It wouldn’t be an issue for much longer with Nicole leaving for school in a month, though. I just needed to stay focused. It made sense for me to move on with someone else, rather than being stuck thinking about Nicole while she started her future in Boston.

After we stopped practicing, Kayla came over to sit on my lap. As she ran her fingers through my hair, I noticed Nicole looking over at us. Was she happy for me? Was she jealous? Was she just observing?

Cassius brought out some beer, and we all dove in. Well, everyone except Nicole. She looked pretty upset now, and that concerned me.

When Kayla left to use the bathroom, I went over to Nicole. “Are you okay?”

She wouldn’t look me in the eye as she blushed. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know. You just look like something is wrong.”

She hesitated. “I think it was this…seafood I ate earlier.”

“Seafood? You’re sick to your stomach?”

Nicole continued to look away from me. “Yeah,” she muttered before getting up from the couch. “You’d better stay away so you don’t get sick, too.”

Something seemed off, but I had no reason to question her. A few minutes later, when Kayla was back on my lap, Nicole left the basement. After that, I found it hard to focus on anything else. I couldn’t ignore the prospect of Nicole being jealous.

Unable to help myself, I lifted Kayla off my lap and stood. “Excuse me for a minute, okay?”

“Where are you going?”

“Bathroom,” I lied.

Nicole was nowhere to be found upstairs, so I assumed she had left, which bummed me out. I was about to return downstairs when I spotted her car in the driveway. I rushed outside just as she was backing out. I held up my hands, prompting her to stop.

She rolled down the window.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

She shook her head. “Not really.”

“You’re feeling sicker?”

Despite the darkness, I could see her face turning red.

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