Page 50 of The Drummer's Heart

Placing my keys on the counter, I hung my head. “I assume he told you what happened.”

“He did. I was worried because it was a while ago that he said you left.”

“Of course…” I gritted my teeth. “He called you as soon as he could. I’m sure he spun it that I attacked him unprovoked.”

She lifted her gaze to meet mine. “Did you?”

“He brought up the very thing he knew would trigger me. He was asking for it.”

I couldn’t even repeat it.

A look of sadness crossed her face. I couldn’t tell if she was upset at the whole thing or just disappointed in my actions.

“I tried,” I told her. “I really did. I thought I could have an adult conversation with the guy, but apparently, it’s just not possible for me to be in the same room without wanting to kill him. I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not,” she said with a hint of a smile.

I waited, expecting her to scold me for my loss of control.

Instead, she stood, walked over to me, and put her hands around my face. “Are you okay?” she asked softly.

Taken aback, I nodded.

She shocked me even more when she brought my face to hers and kissed me on the forehead.

I closed my eyes, appreciating every second. “You’re not mad?”

Instead of answering, she patted my face. “Did you eat dinner at your sister’s?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“I made a fresh batch of chili, if you want some. It’s in the crockpot.”

Is she really giving me a pass?

“I would love some,” I said with a sigh.

Nicole left me alone in the kitchen. I didn’t understand why she hadn’t given me a harder time about my behavior, but I was damn grateful for it.

My stomach grumbled as I went over to the counter and got myself a bowl of chili.

I ate it in silence, unable to stop thinking about what had transpired—mainly that kiss on the forehead, which had given me more hope than anything in a very long time. It spoke a thousand words. Among them, that she understood me, she was sorry, and maybe she still loved me. Even if it was false hope, I’d hang onto it. It was better than feeling like I’d lose her again once the time here ended.

After I finished and took a shower, Nicole already seemed to be asleep when I got to the bedroom. Her long black hair was splayed across my pillow as her body rose and fell with her gentle breathing. In all the days we’d been here, I’d never longed to hold her more.

Instead, I ran my fingers gently through her hair before moving her tresses off of my pillow. What I really wanted, though, was to bury my face in that hair and inhale it all night.

I lay down facing her back, continuing to wish I could wrap my arms around her. But getting to lie next to her was better than nothing. It was certainly better than a lonely bunk on a tour bus, where I’d spent endless nights wishing for this. Actually, lying next to Nicole right now was better thananything. And you know what? Even though I hadn’t had a chance to win any fights with Julian today, Ihadwon. At least for now, in this moment. Because I was the one here with her.

A few minutes later, I heard her voice. It was barely audible.

“Atticus…”

Surprised that she was awake, I straightened a little and answered softly. “Yeah, baby?”

“Atticus…”

I’d thought she was trying to get my attention, but she was talking in her sleep. For real this time. I’d been messing with her this morning when I’d told her she was saying obscene things while unconscious. This was the first time I’d heard her do this since we’d been here.

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