Page 3 of The Drummer's Heart

“Yeah. What difference does it make what we say, though? The whole thing will be one big lie.”

A tense silence settled over the line. “I figured maybe you wouldn’t mind seeing your family while you were back in Monksville.”

I sighed. “I was actually planning to go back during this break. So this is not the worst thing in the world.”

“Not the worst thing in the world, aside from having to spend time with me, right?”

Was that supposed to be funny? Little did Nicole realize that spending time with her brought me just as much excitement as it did dread. And that wasexactlythe problem. This was why I’d never gotten over her. No matter the pain we’d been through, she would always be the one, even if half the time it hurt to think about her.

Rather than respond to her last comment, I simply said, “I’ll be there. Anything else?”

“No.” She sighed. “Thank you again.”

“Yeah,” I murmured.

After we hung up, I sat on the bed and put my head in my hands. Two weeks with Nicole, pretending to still be married. It would be a miracle if I survived it.

***

Later that night, there was a knock on my hotel room door.

I opened it to find Ronan looking miffed.

He held up his hands. “What the hell, man?” He brushed past me into my room.

Shit. I’d been so consumed by Nicole’s phone call, I’d forgotten to return to Tristan and Emily’s for the party they werethrowing to celebrate the release of our album,The Rocker’s Muse. Their backyard barbecue must’ve been over by now.

“I’m sorry. I just wasn’t in the mood to celebrate,” I told him.

He flopped onto the bed, causing the mattress to bounce. “Well? What did Nicole want? I’ve been dying to know. Couldn’t stop thinking about it all day.”

I explained the phone call.

He blew out a breath. “Well, I’m relieved.”

“Why is that?”

“I’d been assuming the worst and thought I was gonna have to keep you from killing someone tonight or stop you from jumping off the nearest bridge.”

“What did you think she was going to tell me?” I didn’t really want to hear the answer.

“I thought maybe she was getting married—or worse, that she was pregnant with that dude’s baby.”

The mere thought of that made me sweat. I might punch a hole in the hotel wall after all. I couldn’t admit that both of those scenarios had already crossed my mind. “Don’t repeat that again,” I warned him.

“Come on.” He smirked. “You must have been thinking something like that.”

I shook my head. “I didn’t know what to think. I’d come up with every scenario imaginable going into that phone call. I’m still sick to my damn stomach. Haven’t even eaten all day.”

“So, how exactly do youpretendto still be married to someone you can’t even bear to think about because it upsets you so much?”

I stared out the window to the dark parking lot below. “I guess I’m gonna have to put on my acting hat.”

It wouldn’t be the first time I’d had topretend. After all, for the past few years, I’d done nothing but throw myself into women, pretending to want the rockstar lifestyle just to staysane. Everyone thought I was a manwhore by nature and that I loved sleeping around, but in reality, I’d never been more miserable, never felt more alone. I’d been pretending to be someone I wasn’t for a long time now. I wasn’t proud of some of the things I’d done since my divorce. But being someone else was a hell of a lot easier than being Atticus without Nicole.

Ronan grimaced. “She’s not gonna bring him around, is she?”

My fists tightened. “Not if she cares about his life…”

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