Page 13 of The Drummer's Heart

“Oh, that’s right, you’re incapable of that now. If I had a nickel for every text someone sent me about your antics on the road.” My cheeks burned.

His ears turned red. “Really, Nicole? You wanna go there? I don’t know what anything I do as a single man has to do withus. Because Inevercheated on you. And you know it.”

Ididknow it. I also knew Atticus had been a good husband and that at one time, we’d been very much in love. That’s why it was so hard to believe we’d landed in this place—up until today, we’d been virtual strangers for the past few years. Too much damage had been done, though, to ever go back. As much as I still wanted to jump into his arms at times, I couldn’t let my heart go there. I’d been working so hard to try to get over him. But I needed to chill on the guilt pushing. Because the demise of our relationship was just as much my fault as his. We’d burned it down together.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered with a knot in my throat. “Let’s just go to sleep. It’s been a long day.”

His eyes seared into mine for a few seconds before he reached for one of the extra pillows on the bed and dropped it on the floor.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m setting up on the floor.”

The room consisted of one full-sized bed and a small chair in the corner. The bed took up almost the entire room.

“There’s barely enough space for you on the floor.”

Atticus ignored my concern. “I found a blanket in the hall closet. I’ll be good.”

A moment later, I realized that if I allowed him to sleep on the floor, it might give him the impression that I couldn’t trust myself around him. Wouldn’t it be better not to make such a big deal about it? After all, if I could sleep platonically with Atticus, I could doanything. Maybe sharing the bed was exactly what I needed to get over him once and for all. Sort of like exposure therapy.

“I think you should sleep in the bed,” I blurted before I could think any more.

Atticus shook his head. “I told you. I’m not letting you sleep on the couch.”

“That’s not what I mean.” I paused. “I think we should share the bed.”

His eyes widened. “You smoke something while I was in the shower?”

“No.” I laughed nervously. “I just think we’re two grown adults, and there’s no reason we can’t lie on the same hump of foam.”

“Yousaid the wordhump, not me.”

I rolled my eyes. “Can you be serious?”

His smile faded. “Look, if you’re cool with that, I am, too. I sure as hell wasn’t gonna be the one to suggest it, though.”

“Iamfine with it.” I blew a breath up into my hair, wondering if he could sense my nerves.

“Okay, then. Bed sounds good.” Atticus took a deep breath and let it out. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

After an awkward moment of silence, I grabbed my stuff and went to the bathroom to take my own shower. And boy, was it needed. I planned to take my sweet time, hoping I’d get lucky and he’d be asleep when I returned.

The hot water helped calm me at first. But then my nerves kicked in again as the reality of the situation began to register. Two weeks of sleeping in the same bed with Atticus every night but not being able to touch him would be absolute torture.

When I returned to the room, Atticus was already in bed and seemed to be out like a light. From the sound of his breathing, I assumed he was asleep. He’d had an early flight, along with the stress of the situation. I knew this was no easier for him than it was for me.

I slid under the covers next to him, immediately registering the warmth of his body. I lay flat on my back, careful not to veer tooclose to him. But after a couple of minutes of staring at the ceiling, I couldn’t relax. I turned toward him, watching the rise and fall of his breaths as he slept soundly on his stomach. It seemed like just yesterday that this had been my norm, sleeping next to the man I loved.Thisman. But so much was different now. It was easy to pretend for a second, though, that I was back in that place of safety, the memories all too close for comfort, his familiar scent a taunting pull toward nostalgia.

As my body stirred, it was hard to remember why I’d ever thought I could handle sleeping next to him.

***

Atticus’s groggy voice startled me as he entered the kitchen the next morning. “You woke me up last night.”

I turned to find his sexy abs staring me in the face. Of course he had to be shirtless, his beautiful hair tousled from sleep. I itched to run my hand through it, to taste his full lips just one more time.

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