Page 117 of The Drummer's Heart

“My mom gave it to me before she left tonight. You know how she stayed at Mimi’s to clean up after the funeral, even after we left?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, Mimi left my mother all of her jewelry. Mom didn’t actually open the jewelry box to go through it until the other day. And this letter was inside.”

“What do you think it is?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I have no idea.”

“Let’s see. Open it,” I urged.

Nicole took a deep breath and removed the letter from the envelope.

Dearest Nicole and Atticus,

If you’re reading this letter, it’s because I am no longer here. It’s being dictated to Fiona, who is assisting me with writing it as my penmanship is not what it used to be. I’ve instructed her to leave it with my jewelry for safekeeping.

I want you both to know that I promise to watch over you, if that is at all possible from wherever I am now.

I am forever indebted to you both for coming together to spend those two weeks with me earlier this year. I know that wasn’t easy for you.

You had your reasons for lying to me. I imagine you didn’t want to hurt me by admitting the truth. But I am stronger than you think. Or I was while I was alive. (I keep forgetting I’m supposed to be dead as I write this. Ha!)

What does pain me, however, is knowing that two people I love very much had lost their way. I don’t know what happened, but it had to have been something terrible to rip two people who were meant to be together apart.

My dears, I may have been old, but I wasn’t completely deaf. The whispers. The not-so-quiet arguments. The strange people turning up at my door. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought I’d died and woke up in an episode ofAs the World Turns. (That show was before your time. But it was a soap opera I used to like to watch.) Both of you need to promise never to go into acting, because you’re terrible at it.

I never told you I knew because I wanted to hear it from you. After all, if you’d gone through all that troubleto hide your separation from me, I needed to give you some credit for that. As you know, I tried to hint at my suspicions, but you chose not to tell me what was going on. That’s okay. It was none of my business.

Nicole, anytime you came to visit for the past few years, I could see something very wrong in your eyes. They’d lost the light they always had. Any time I asked about Atticus, you wouldn’t even look at me. I worried that it had to do with your marriage, even if you insisted Atticus was merely on tour.

And, Atticus, my boy, it was so very unlike you not to visit me for so long. Not even on Christmas? I’d long suspected there was more to it than your career, which surely allowed more breaks than you let on. I hold none of this against you, as I imagine the pain of whatever you two have been going through superseded all feelings of obligation.

Despite not understanding everything, I felt in my heart that true love would always prevail. I wanted to see how you would handle it if I requested that you both stay with me. I hope the time together helped you realize that not all was lost. That maybe someday you can find your way back to each other.

I’m sorry if it’s jarring to realize you didn’t hide things as well as you thought. Most of all, I’m sorry you two have experienced the misery of being apart from the person you love. I could very much see that you both still love each other.

All I can say is, you must have loved me very much to go through all of that just so I didn’t have to feel a fraction of the hurt you did. Thank you for giving me the gift ofgetting to see two of my favorite people together again for what I believe was probably the last time.

I love you both so very much.

By the way, no one ever said love was easy. Just because you hit some roadblocks doesn’t mean the road is closed forever. I hope it doesn’t take you a lifetime to figure that out. When you get to be my age, all you have are the memories of the people you loved. Material things don’t matter. Nothing else matters.

I will end this letter by telling you I had a very vivid dream last night. I’ve dreamed about your baby before, and it happened again. I mentioned this once to Atticus, who seemed uncomfortable when I brought it up. But it’s been a recurring dream since then. In the past, I hadn’t been able to make out whether it was a boy or a girl. But this time she told me she was a girl—black hair and looks just like my Nicole. But funny thing, she said her name was Adele, and I argued with her. “That’s not your name. That’s my name!” I told her.

Then she told me it was okay to come home, that she’d watch over you. I know it was just a dream, but it gave me some solace anyway.

Dreams are funny.

So is life.

Till we meet again, my darlings.

Love, Mimi

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