Page 47 of Dead By Dusk

Everyone immediately begins talking over one another, grabbing at the map to try and make a point or ask a question regarding the logistics of some half formed plan yelled over someone else. The chaos of it all is interesting. We’ve all been cautious of each other, walking on eggshells and casting sly allegations. I welcome the current frenzy.

“I’m just saying, we have no idea where the tunnels lead, and if these two are being tracked, then we’re sure to have company at the end of whatever path we take,” Nate says. I come back to reality, pulled from whatever stupor I was stuck in when he speaks. I’m not surprised he was the one to say something logical through all the questions, not when I know how smart he is. How smart he’s always been, apparently.

Silene and I remain unspoken, but I don’t miss the pleading glance she throws my way when I refuse to look at her for too long.

“You live long enough to remember.”That’s what she said to me the first time we saw each other, and now I do. My memories though, I’m not sure how to process them, let alone what to think. I’m not sure how to tell her that it’s not what it seems without her accusing me again when we’re on shaky ground as it is. I don’t know how to get her to believe it wasn’t me.

I can’t even look her in the eyes knowing that none of this was ever about killing us, but breaking her will enough to leave him alone.

“We use a diversion,” Silene says, feeling on the back of her neck.

“A diversion?”

“You three take the tunnels while Ronan and I take off through the woods. They’ll assume we’re all together and follow me and Ronan. No one will know.” When she says this, I turn to face her before looking at the rest of the group, waiting for a response.

“I go with you,” Carmen says quietly, though something in her voice feels final. Like she won’t be deterred from her decision, and if Silene didn’t interject, I would have.

“No, you don’t.”

“You promised,” she says, pleading with Silene to understand what she means, even though the rest of us don’t. I see the way she fights to keep her tears at bay, refusing to let them fall as she begs her, but it appears to be for nothing because the woman I love shakes her head no. And if there’s one thing I know, it’s that Silene would never willingly risk the life of someone she cares about. All plans are meticulously calculated, and if she thinks Carmen is better off with the other two, then I will stand by her side and support that decision.

“I didn’t promise this. People are going to be coming at us from every direction. You’ll be safest going with one of them.” My gaze continues to flick between the two, knowing who will win the argument, but amazed at Carmen’s persistence. An impossible task, but an admirable effort.

“What about you two? When do you go through the tunnels? Or do you even care if you die out there?” Silene stills as the words leave Carmen’s mouth, and my heart stops as I realize the probability of what her answer might be. The probability of her knowingly running into a fight she won’t win. Shame washes over her face, coloring her cheeks pink as she looks away, and I have my answer.

Though, I would die before I let her. A world where she doesn’t exist is not one worthy of living in, and I would never let her do something that would get herself killed.

“There are access points to the tunnels. We can go far enough out to ditch the trackers, run in a different direction, and if we calculate it correctly, we should be able to meet up with the rest of you at the end,” she says slowly, as if it’s a new part of her plan. Something she’s unsure of, but saying it anyway in case it helps her case.

“Carmen, she’s right. It won’t be safe out there, and her plan could easily work,” Nate says, reaching out to softly grab her arm and pull her away from inside the circle we formed after taking several steps towards Silene. But she pulls her arm out of his grasp and turns to face him.

“If it’s not safe out there for me, then it’s not safe for anyone. I don’t care how skilled she is, one person can only handle so much at a time,” Carmen counters. She turns to face Silene, but her eyes meet my gaze instead. I’m surprised that she’s fighting back. The woman who tends to speak in riddles and dreams, who feels more attached to the metaphysical rather than reality. Thisis the first time I’ve heard her words spoken with conviction. She sounds more like Silene than herself.

“No, and that’s final,” Silene responds before turning back to the group before Carmen has a chance to argue any further.

“Let’s just solidify a plan,” Adonis interjects, commanding the attention of everyone in the room. He’s been staring at the map since the women started arguing, but now he’s looking at Silene, withdrawn and curious. “Silene isn’t off to a bad start, and she’s not wrong.”

“I told you th—”

“I didn’t say you were right, either,” he says over her voice, cutting off whatever else she was about to say. This only results in another staring contest, a battle of wills that he, to my surprise, wins.

The next several hours consist of fine tuning the details of our escape. Tonight we’ll eat, drink plenty of water, sharpen weapons, and rest. Anything that can help with tomorrow. If all goes right, we’ll be out by tomorrow night, finally escaping all of this. We’ll survive, and I’ll spend however long it takes proving to Silene that my loyalty remains to her. Always.

As long as I breathe, my life is hers to give or take.

But when everyone is settling in for the night, and I see Silene exit the upstairs death room, refusing to acknowledge my presence as I come out of the bathroom, I know something is wrong. Especially when I see a piece of folded paper clutched between her fingers with ink smudged onto them. As she pockets it, I can’t help but reach into my own pocket and feel the note I’ve kept hidden from her for the past several days.

* * *

Silene:

Everyone wants to leave. They want a quick break, a way out—they want to survive. I don’t share their sentiment because I know this doesn’t end when we escape. It will never end untilheis dead, and since I know there isn’t anyone I can trust to not turn their back on me at the first sign of danger, so I’ll be leaving alone.

Tonight.

Carmen may never forgive me for leaving her behind, but one day she will see I had to. If I survive what I’m about to do, then I can explain it to her in a way that, I hope, she’ll one day understand. Without me doing this, there will be nowhere to hide from his madness.

Leaving in the dead of the night while the others sleep is a calculated risk I’m taking. I know anyone could wake at any moment or that the stairs could creak and give me away, but I’m hoping if I keep my footfalls nice and light, no one will know until the morning. But as I move to take the first step, I hesitate.

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