Page 27 of Dead By Dusk

“Good, I’m glad.” It’s out before I can stop it, and suddenly I want nothing more than to run away—to crawl within myself and find the part of me that hates so deeply and tuck her away—the second his face morphs as if my words had landed upon him in a physical blow. I know they were petty and childish, and I can’t bear to look at his reaction as I suddenly feel a violent grief over the loss of something that the current me hardly knows. I know what happened, but for some reason…

I hurry to my feet in a rush to get away as the other two begin to stir awake. I give Carmen’s shoulder a light reassuring squeeze on my way past her before stalking away to check our surroundings and clear my head, but when I do, I swear I hear the faintest response. Two words that might just be a trick of my mind. Because why would he? Why could he possibly…

But I know I heard it, no matter how insane the response would be. I know I wasn’t imagining them. Two quiet, measly words that should mean nothing to me, but deep down, no matter how much I wish they don’t, they do. They’re an all-encompassing everything that washes me in confusion and longing.

For what? I’m not sure. But I do know that two words should not hold as much meaning to me as they do.

Two whispered words.

“Me too.”

13

Destruction: Ronan

Iwatch as she walks away in a hurry, her steps rushed but calculated and even. No step shorter than the last. I know she didn’t mean the words, I could see it behind her eyes, but I couldn’t deny that the shot she fired hit its mark.

My heart.

I’m not sure how she’d always been so good at hiding her feelings. It’s almost as if she’s built an impenetrable wall around her heart and donned a mask to cover her face.

Cold and unfeeling.

Others would call her that for the fact that nothing seemed to shake her. No words hurt or deterred her, no hit was hard enough to warrant a reaction other than a smile or laugh, which was quite terrifying at times. You could never get a reaction out of her.

I knew it wasn’t due to a lack of feeling though, but a well of it. Hidden deep below the surface. You just had to be daringenough to reach for it and hope you didn’t end up drowning in the water flowing deep below.

Surface level was all she let anyone see, but two people had gotten through. I know that. Me, from my memories, and the other woman that she’d been willing to kill for. I don’t remember her yet, but I know that Silene doesn’t offer blind loyalty to anyone. You have to catch her first, and prove yourself worthy of it time and time again before she peers into your soul and determines if you’re worthy. With her it’s all or nothing.

Right now, her emotions are running high. Her cool mask has slipped away in the dream-like absence of our two other companions, Nate and Adonis. The real her, the one that felt comfortable being vulnerable,had been caught off guard. She didn’t want to say the words, but she did, and she doesn’t even know how true they already are.

“Where do you think she’s going?”

His voice, cold and curious, startles me out of my thoughts and drags my attention away from the direction she’d walked in that now holds no evidence of her departure. I open my mouth, the response ready just behind my teeth but a quiet, soft voice beats me to it.

“Perimeter. She likes to check the perimeter first thing in the morning. It gives her mind some peace.” I turn my gaze to her, studying her body language and notice that despite her dreamy and quiet nature, she only speaks of Silene with a firm assurance. She may not be willing to meet any of our eyes, but her shoulders are held just a tad higher and her eyebrows ease. This tells me she doesn’t care to convince us, she just needs to know the answer has been given for those who bother to listen.

“Her mind can be quite loud when her body stills. She may wield a blade with ease, but her thoughts tend to be the most violent part of her. In the silence, if you pay attention, sometimes you can hear it all.”

The wind picks up as no one speaks for a moment. The words of a dreamer settle in the air as the leaves run across the ground, her hair whipping sharply across her soft features.

“What can you hear?” It was Adonis, his voice a deep disruption of the air that had grown heavy around us, the only sound the whistling wind and rustling leaves. For the first time since last night, she decides to lock gazes with someone other than Silene. I’m not sure if it’s a gesture of trust after what she told me, or if it’s a dare.

“It’s almost like a machine. The way her thoughts run wild, like gears ticking and clicking and constantly slamming against one another. Each one louder than the words that she speaks.” All three of us look toward her as unease permeates the air. None of us dares to interrupt, but Adonis’ raised brows and weary stare has her continuing.

“Destruction, Adonis. It’s a vile thing, and you can hear it like a whisper echoing in the silence.”

A violent set of shivers run the length of my body as the words leave her mouth, her eyes wide, but her jaw set in determination. Adonis—to my surprise—looks away first. The last embers of the fire died a while ago, and the ash begins to move with the leaves, but I don’t look at how they scatter and mix with the earth and air. I continue gazing at the curious woman in front of me who speaks in riddles of confusing truths.

Minutes fly by before I hear the steady cadence of approaching steps. Something I know she’s only allowing us to hear so we know it’s her and not another attacker. I snap my head toward the sound and see her features have settled into a cool mask of indifference. Her emotive state neatly folded and tucked away so no one else can see that she feels just as much, if not more than the rest of us.

“We’re clear as far as I can tell,” she starts but looks around at the four of us. Carmen is still staring at Adonis for a beat beforeflicking her gaze back to her friend. Nate stares at Carmen, Adonis at the ground, while I keep my eyes locked on her. “Did I miss something?”

Her eyes bounce to and from each and every one of us in search of an answer, spoken or silent, to her question but no one speaks as we all rise and gather our weapons. I don’t believe that anyone wants to be silent right now, but it feels wrong interrupting a soundless morning after such words have been spoken. I’m still digesting what’s been said, when Silene speaks.

“Okay…is there a plan or are we all just on the same page for what we’re doing next?”

“We’re continuing the way we’ve been going. With how far we’ve gotten, we have to be coming up onto a trail or road somewhere.”

---