Page 47 of Knot Just A Fan

“Forourencore, you mean?” I sink down to a squat as the gin catches up with me. I realize I’m starving.

And I also realize I’m uncomfortably warm, despite the cooler coastal air slinking even here between buildings. Guess it’s just the excitement and the crowd. I pinch my dress away from my chest and heave out a breath.

“We find Grayson, so I can apologize.”

Cami stands and faces me, arms crossed over her chest. “Like fuck, Phillips! We came here so you could get over him. Not soyoucould grovel to him! He’s the one who let you go!”

“No, he didn’t,” I enunciate. “That was Ronan.”

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “Ronan’s an asshat. But if Grayson wanted you with them, he’d have told Ronan to cut the shit, and call the Guild, and get your job back, and sort all this out. He’s a pussy for letting this happen. You don’t owe himanything.”

She’s actually angry, but I know it’s on my behalf.

“You have to believe more in yourself than you believe in whatothersbelieve.”

I pause and consider this. “Does that even make sense?” I’m sweating like I’ve just done an hour of cardio. But I think I’ve diffused a bit of her ire.

Cami nods.

“Well,” I say slowly. “I think I do. Because I just did an advertisement for myself on a massive stage, on Arcadia Echo’s dime.”

“Oh, yeah,” Cami says slowly, her eyes widening and the grin returning to her face. “Good point!” She high fives me and pulls out her phone, punching in numbers for a rideshare. “Room service?”

She looks at her phone and her eyes bug out. “Why’ve I got six messages on—oh, holy shit.” She turns the phone to me and I squint at a social media page message box.

Six messages. Within a few minutes. She scrolls through them.

“Three are actual requests for more info about your work. One just has a high-five emoji. Oh my God—and one’s asking if you’re available tomeet a bandin Paris, er, next Wednesday. We won’t be here, but that’s still pretty fucking awesome!” She stutters out a laugh and looks at me, mouth open. “This is nuts, you know that, right?”

So I might feel a little guilty using their stage and their popularity as a springboard for another job. But what goes around comes around, right?

“Karma’s not a bad way to get off,” Cami says with a throaty chuckle. “Imagine the song Grayson might write about this.I let the best Omega in the world go and now she’s more famous than I am, wah wah wahhhhh.”

She does an admirable impression of Grayson’s falsetto, and I chuckle at the effort. But I’m suddenly sober, and quieter on the quick rideshare back as Cami discusses wilder and wilder possibilities and plans foractuallybecoming my manager. How this could be my ticket to financial independence.

Within minutes, I put my name and her contact in the hands of thousands of people filming who’ll upload it to social media. And anyone who’s liked my work with Echo over the years, or hell, who wants a family photoshoot with their dog, I might be someone they’ll think of hiring.

This is amazingly good fortune. This is a turn I hadn’t expected.

This is the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Because I came here knowing I will never get over Grayson. I came here knowing that these men are my Alphas—myAlphas. Or should be. But they won’t ever be, and I’ve made that even more certain, now.

The man I love, my match, the leader of the pack I know I belong with, as much as they might despise me, not only knows Icame to his show despite being fired, but will have seen me give a pathetic attempt to ride his coattails to fame.

Just like a damn groupie.

CHAPTER 21

Ronan

I can’t believehow fast everything’s fallen apart.

The shouts and feet stomping and alcohol talking out in the ravenous crowd make it a thousand times worse. It’s not just about me, or us—it’s about every single person who buys an album, a t-shirt, a concert ticket, or listens to a single stream.I’m letting them all down because I’ve led us to this.

But I storm off the stage anyhow, grabbing my bag, leaving my gear, and heading out a back door and out into the night. I pull my jacket around me even though it’s surprisingly warm for January here.

The street and buildings pass as I head to the promenade. At least there, it’s just water on one side. Lots of people out tonight though, dammit. I guess not everyone is at our gig. Though it feels like it.

---