Page 25 of Knot Just A Fan

“I—I have never not been on this path. The Academy. The Guild. All these years. What am I? What’s going on?”

What will I become? That’s the question I don’t say. But I must wear it on my face, my unwashed, glitter-fied New Year’s Eve slept-in face. Because Cami answers it.

“You won’t become your mum. If for no other reason, she didn’t have me. But you do.”

I sit there nodding, heat ramping up in my veins, my core, my breasts, buzzing in my ears like a thousand electrical poles all at once. Cami stomps into the kitchen and brings back my tray.

“Stay in here.” She points to my en-suite bathroom. “Get a shower now if you can, so you’re more comfortable. It’s likely going to get rough in the next few hours. Oh! And give me your phone.”

“Why?” I cry, twisting away from her, phone still in my hand. I slide it under my ass.

“Because. You know what you’re like on social media when you’ve had a cocktail. This is going to be a thousand times worse.”

You can’t be messaging Grayson.That’s what she wants to say.

“The damage is done! It doesn’t fucking matter if I message him now or not! They’ve gone and gotten me fired, what worse thing could possibly happen?”

She just shakes her head and holds out her hand. “Don’t make me tackle you.”

“You’re smaller than me,” I blurt.

“I wouldn’t want to have to tie you down.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Hey, I’ve got three sets of fuzzy handcuffs in my room. Don’t tempt me.” She tries to laugh and I reach out for that, like reaching through a pounding storm of darkest rain for the slightest sliver of light I can see on the other side. Normalcy is there. But I’m starting to go under the heat-storm that’s about to hit.

“You’re shaking pretty hard now, don’t know if you know,” she says softly. I must’ve handed her my phone. I don’t remember. Because it’s in her hands now. She slides it into the back pocket of her jeans.

That’s when I start to cry. The tears pour down and I can see my body shaking even if I don’t feel it. The emotional wave is like a bulldozer of every amplified feeling—lust, humiliation, recklessness, fear, horniness, shock—driving over me and burying my sense of what’s real. I mumble some words through the shivers, and uncontrollable sobs pour out.

I don’t even know what I’ve said until Cami steps closer again and places her small hand on my shoulder. “I won’t leave you, mate. I’ll be here. I’ll find out what’s happened. Leave it with me.”

Leave it with me.

Mum’s last words. When I said she’d be okay, she’d get herself well, she’d pull through whatever mysterious illness had taken out her immune system that had left her with a collapsed lung, a blood clot, and internal bleeding.

Don’t worry, Sweetie. It will all be okay. Leave it with me.

Cami closes the door and I hear her move the chest of drawers against it, as we agreed.

I have no choice but to leave the next three days in her hands. But the faces of Ronan, Enzo, and Grayson flash in my head over and over as I feel the slick dampen my underwear and sweatpants. It’s beginning.

I growl. I cry out. I rip my shirt off and race to the window in my bra and sweats. I push aside the vertical blinds as the wetness between my legs drips down my thighs like gravity has just switched on. My nipples are harder and more painful than I can remember, and my left hand flies up to cup my left breast, pinching the nipple between my fingers. I let out a frantic moan as my right hand tries to work the crank on the old-fashioned window, but it doesn’t budge.

“Shit!” I growl.

The key. The key is gone from its spot in the crank. Cami’s locked it.

Thank you, Cami, the last sensible part of my brain thinks before the heat takes over and all I can think about is having inside me the Alpha I’ve dreamed of every sweat-soaked-sheet night of my adult life. The Alpha I think I love, or would, if he’d give me half a chance.

But it’s not just Grayson I imagine as I’m writhing on the floor beside my bed, breasts spilling out of the bra I’ve yanked beneath them, fingers deep inside me, dripping with slick that’s pooling on the floor and covering my bare legs. It’s Grayson—and Enzo. And Ronan. All three of them. Pleasing me. Sucking on my clit. Sucking my taut nipples into their mouths. Taking turns dunking their rock-hard cocks into my throat as another takes me from behind until his knot locks into me, and I’m theirs. I’m theirs.

I scream out as the first wave of orgasm hits, but not just a scream of riotous pleasure. A scream of rage.

“How can you do this to me, you fucking bastards?How!?”

Cami pounds on the door. “Stay strong, mate! I’m calling him now. Don’t fucking picture them, picture anyone but!”

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