Page 72 of Live for Me

I was nothing.

I would never be anything.

No matter how far I’d come, how far I’d grown, and how much I’d distanced myself from that shitty trailer park.

I was still trash.

Beau sighed from beside me. It wasn’t a sigh of frustration. No, it was filled with something else, something I didn’t have the strength to comprehend. “Abbie,” he called, his voice still dangerously soft.

This cabin was supposed to be for you and me.

It was a gift from my father.

A wedding gift.

Flashes of Beau on his knee in the middle of a field during a summer sunset a lot like the one happening outside now were suddenly shoved to the forefront of my mind. Before I could stop it, I was pulled into the past, trapped by the weight of the worst mistake of my life.

Six years ago. Hallow Ranch.

The grass was soft under my bare feet, and Beau’s strong hand was warm around mine.

“Quiet tonight, Wildflower,” Beau murmured, the rough edges of his deep voice compelling me to look at him, the sunset at this back.

My heart was about to crack right down the middle, but I needed to soak this up, the image of my cowboy in the sun. We’d been together for years now, having grown up together, here, on Hallow Ranch. Beau was no longer a boy or even a wild teenager. He was man—a good man. He was a man who deserved the world, a man with a smile that brought me and no doubt countless other women to their knees. That smile was supposed to be all mine.

Forever.

That was the promise we whispered to each other two years ago when he made love to me in this very field for the first time. We were both scared and hopelessly in love. Yet, we still fell into it, into the promise of forever, blinded by our love.

Two years ago, I was happy.

Two years ago, I was ready to be Mrs. Marks.

Two years ago, I was ready to spend the rest of my life with this cowboy.

Those feelings didn’t change until a week ago, and for the last seven days, danger lurked behind me at every turn. I didn’t feel safe in town or even at Hallow Ranch. They were watching me, no matter where I went or who I was with.

“Abbie?” Beau’s smile slowly faded, his brows coming together. “What’s wrong?”

I blinked quickly, stopping the tears from showing. “Today has been so perfect, that’s all,” I told him, squeezing his hand. It was the most perfect day, and because of that, I knew it was time for me to cut the cord. I was playing with fire being here right now. I knew that. It was foolish, but I had to say goodbye to him.

I already had my reasons, my story locked and loaded on my tongue, ready to fire it off at a moment’s notice. I should’ve left at dinner instead of going on this walk with him, but my soul needed just a few more minutes.

That smile stretched back across his face again, and my heart cried out in agony. This was all wrong. This wasn’t how my life was supposed to play out. I’d paid all my mother’s debt to karma. It was supposed to be a fresh start, a new chapter that would lead to a happy ending.

I stepped forward, closing the small distance between us, my hand cupping the side of his handsome, tanned face. My eyes dropped, focusing on his mouth for a moment before getting lost in his blues again. “Beau,” I murmured, his name like a prayer on my lips. A prayer for salvation, a prayer for forgiveness.

The truth was, I knew he would never be able to forgive me. I knew he would hate me. As much as it would torture me, Iwould rather have Beau hate me. I would take whatever deal that kept him breathing.

Beau being alive was the only thing I truly needed in this world.

Did I want him? Oh, yes. I knew I was about to spend the rest of my life in agony and longing. However, I need his heart to keep beating, even if it wasn’t for me.

His free hand cupped my face, the rough pad of his thumb stroking my cheek, sending sparks of desire through my body. I wish there was time to have him one more time, to make love to him in the way he deserved, to give him the pleasure he deserved.

“Abbie,” he whispered, his eyes dropping to my lips.

Yes, kiss me.

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