Page 99 of Live for Me

She was standing too far away from me, and as much I wanted to pull her into my arms, I stopped myself.

Did she still love me? Yes.

Did I still love her? Always.

Was I scared shitless of what our future would look like? Yes.

I’d rather look down the barrel of a loaded gun than think about her walking away from me again. The truth was, she wasn’t the same woman who left me six years ago, and I wasn’t the same man. Life had hardened us both, changing us in ways we could never erase. There was no going back in time with Abbie. If I wanted her, I would have to accept her for how she was. If she wanted me, she would have to accept me—and all the fucked up darkness in my soul.

“What do you mean it depends on me?” she asked.

I tossed the towel on the counter and braced my hands on either side of my hips. “I’m not the one with the successful career in the big city, beautiful,” I reminded her gently. “I don’t have a life outside of Hallow Ranch. My life is here and your life is there.”

She jerked. It was small, and if I was a stranger to her, I might have missed it. “Do you…” She trailed off, looking away from me. “Are you saying you don’t want a life with me?”

“Abbie, that’s all I’ve ever wanted,” I answered instantly, and her head snapped back to me. “You know that, but we’re not the same people anymore. We’ve grown up. We’ve discovered things about ourselves, and life has kicked us both in the ass during the last six years.”

A huffed laugh left her as she wrapped her arms around herself.

My throat bobbed before I continued, “Ten years ago, I would’ve asked you to give up your dreams for me. Hell, I was young and fucking selfish. Six years ago, I would’ve followed you anywhere if I hadn’t been foolish enough to not chase after you—”

“Beau—,” she tried, but I shook my head.

“I’m thirty-one years old, Abbie. I’ve grown up,” I told her. “I’m mature enough to know how much your career in journalism means to you, and I’m not selfish enough to ask you to give that up for me. I also know that, right now, I can’t follow you anywhere.”

“What?” she breathed.

“Planted roots in Hallow Ranch, gorgeous,” I murmured, giving her a sad half-smile. “I can’t dig them up.”

She took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly as my words settled over her.

“So, it’s gotta be you,” I said, “and I can’t make you do anything. I don’t want to make you do something you don’t want to do—hell, I didn’t think I could in the first place.”

Her lips thinned, and she looked at her feet for a moment. “And I’m not cruel enough to ask you to dig up those roots, Beau,” she returned, her voice trembling with sadness.

Slowly, I pushed off the counter, my feet carrying me to her, and in an instant, her chin was in my grip. I forced her eyes to hold mine as I admitted, “I appreciate that, Wildflower, because we both know I wouldn’t be able to say no.”

I couldn’t rip up these roots, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t.

Her hands found my sides, her fingers gripping my shirt as her eyes scanned my face. “You’re the only man I’ve ever wanted,” she whispered.

“We don’t have to talk about this now,” I whispered back, shifting my hand to brush some of her silky hair back, tucking it behind her ear. “We can save this hard conversation after we have all the others.”

A pathetic laugh escaped her as she put her head on my shoulder, wrapping her arms around my middle. “Why can’t things ever be easy for us?”

My arms enveloped her as I looked out the window into the pines. “Denver told me once that good things are worth fighting for.”

She crumbled for me then, and I felt warm tears soaking through my shirt. “I’ve been fighting all my life, Beau. I’m so tired. I just want to be happy.”

“Know that, baby,” I cooed, rubbing her back.

“I’m only happy when I’m with you.”

I closed my eyes and cursed the Big Man upstairs.

We couldn’t even have the fucking night.

An hour later, I had her underneath me, her fingers weaved with mine, our moans and pants colliding as my body moved over hers.

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