Page 90 of Live for Me

“It’s too fucking early for this shit,” Mason muttered, coming into Denver’s office and yawning.

I’d been in here for two fucking hours; hell, I don’t think I even slept. All I could do was hold Abbie in my arms. I was afraid if I fell asleep, I would lose her again.

I couldn’t fucking lose her again.

Hell, I shouldn’t have lost her in the fucking first place.

I should’ve seen it.

I should’ve ran after her, chased her down into the city and demanded answers. Hell, then we could’ve handled this together.

“There’s been a development,” Denver grunted, taking another sip of his coffee.

I waited until Mason plopped down in the chair beside mine before giving it to him. “Abbie was forced to leave me six years ago.”

My friend blinked, and I waited, letting it sink in. After a few moments, he asked, “How in the fuck do you know that? Did she tell you?”

“I know you have issues with her, Mase, but listen to me,” I urged, my voice tight. “She didn’t want to fucking leave me.”

His stormlike eyes held mine for some time, his older brother sitting back in silence.

“She was threatened?” he guessed, slicing his eyes over to look at his brother.

“Yes,” I confirmed, the weight of the word crushing my heart. I fell back in my chair, shaking my head and looking out the window. I was still trying to wrap my brain around it.

“Did she tell you?” Mase asked quietly, leaning forward on his forearms.

I shook my head, keeping my eyes on the dark blue horizon, the top of the sky turning purple. Pink would follow shortly, then the oranges and yellows. God always painted the prettiest sunrises, but there was something about this one that spoke to my soul.

“Who figured it out?” Denver asked, his voice void of the skepticism I expected.

“Who do you think?” I returned quieter than before, looking over to him as I rubbed my jaw.

“Jigs?” Mase huffed out in disbelief. “You mean to tell me that old man saw—”

“Aside from your wives, my pop was the only person on this ranch who didn’t have any resentment towards her,” I reminded him patiently. “He went to talk to her yesterday. I guess he was wanting some answers too.”

Denver grunted, muttering a curse, and Mason’s jaw jumped as he peeled his gaze from mine, a shadow of regret hovering over his features.

I looked down to my lap, dark emotions pooling in my gut, creating a toxin that seeped into my bloodstream. I pinched the bridge of my nose, dropping my head. “I’m such a fucking coward,” I whispered, my voice cracking, the emotion too much. “I should’ve gone after her. I should’ve fought for her.”

I closed my eyes, remembering her running away from me as I fell to my knees, the heartbreak unbearable.

“Regret isn’t going to change the past, Beau,” Denver said quietly. “Trust me. You can spend a lifetime replaying your mistakes in your mind, but nothing, no matter how much you want it, will ever change the past. All you can do is move forward.”

My head shot up then. “There’s no fucking moving on from this, Den,” I barked. “I lost six years with her.”

Denver’s eyes flashed. “And I lost ten with him,” he said, tipping his head towards his younger brother.

“Den…,” Mase warned gently.

The cowboy ignored the warning, pointing at me. “Do you want Abbie back?” he asked sharply.

“You know damn well I do.”

He nodded. “And if she doesn’t want you back? Then what, Beau?”

I held his eyes. “She fucking wants me back. You have my word on that.”

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