Page 44 of Live for Me

I didn’t know how long I’d been standing on the porch, staring at the horizon, waiting for the sunrise. I didn’t know how much sleep I’d gotten. I didn’t know what to feel or what to do. I didn’tknow if I was going to see Beau or not today. If I had any say, I hoped I wouldn’t.

Being around him was a torture I’d never thought I would have to endure.

After spending half the night tossing and turning in a bed that felt too much like the past, I’d gotten dressed, tip-toed downstairs, and headed out to the porch when the moon was still out and wolves could be heard howling in the distance.

Inhaling an unsteady breath, I tried to regain control of my emotions. The last twenty-four hours had been a whirlwind, and I was still waiting to wake up from this nightmare. I was losing my grip on reality, drowning in the one place younger Abbie felt the safest.

The front door of the house opened behind me, causing me to jump, but I didn’t look over my shoulder. I knew who it was. Cowboys rose before the sun, after all. The familiar clink of spurs filled my ears as the cowboy approached me. I said nothing, remaining where I was, against the pillar, my eyes on the pale pinks and deep purples painted across the sky.

He came to stand beside me, his black hat towering over me as the smell of coffee filled my nostrils. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him raise the baby blue mug to his lips, taking a healthy sip. It was still early, still quiet. The world hadn’t quite woken yet, allowing me to hear him swallow. He lowered his cup with a quiet sigh and rolled his neck.

“Want some?” he offered, his voice gruff with sleep.

I shook my head, wrapping my sweater tighter around me.

He grunted, taking a second sip.

Over the tree line, a hawk soared, barely missing the tops of the trees as it headed away from the sunrise. It cried out, the beautiful sound echoing over the empty valley, signaling the dawn. I watched it fly over the field, its wings moving effortlessly as it scanned the ground for food. Suddenly, I desperatelywished I could fly. When it was out of sight, I focused back on the sunrise, the pink sky turning into a pale orange, chasing the shadow of night away.

Before I could stop myself, I whispered the truth, letting it hang in the sweet summer air. “I never thought I’d be back here.”

Mason was quiet for a moment. “That makes two of us,” he murmured.

His admission slammed into me, compelling me to look at him.

The bull rider wasn’t looking at me, though. His gray eyes were on the field, his jaw tight. “Fucking hated this place, Abbie,” he continued, voice thick with emotion. “There were days I wanted it all to fucking burn.”

The tears came then, tears I’d been fighting to hold back since Beau brought me here yesterday morning. They fell onto my cheeks at a steady pace with no signs of stopping. “I know you did,” I rasped, my breath hitching.

John Langston may have been a great cowboy, but he was shit father, taking out his anger and pain on his youngest son, the one whose looks favored the woman he’d lost.

Mason looked at me then, his brow furrowed. “What did you just say?” he asked, breathing out the question in confusion.

I looked back to the sunrise, wondering if I should confess this to him, but then again, what else did I have to lose? “You may have done a good job hiding it from everyone else, but to someone who was being abused at the same time you were, Mase? There was no fooling me.”

I felt his stare burning into the side of my head. Still, I didn’t look at him. “You never said anything.”

I lifted my shoulder slightly, giving the scene in front of me a sad smile before looking to my bare feet. “It wasn’t any of my business.” Silence fell between us for a minute or two before I added, “Besides, I didn’t want to put you into more danger thanyou were already in. I was a nobody. What the hell could I have done?”

He said nothing, and after a few more seconds of silence, he moved to the opposite pillar, leaning his shoulder against it as he downed the rest of his coffee. The sun began to peek over the tree line then, its rays stretching over the land, dusting the tops of the trees and causing the morning dew to sparkle on the green grass.

“It’s funny,” he said, setting the mug on the porch railing.

“What’s funny, Mase?” I asked, looking at him and wiping my cheek with my sleeve.

He pursed his lips, looking out to the field again. “This place was your safe space, and it was my own version of hell.”

A lump formed in my throat.

Those wild, storm-filled eyes met mine again. “And now, the roles are reversed.”

Hallow Ranch was heaven to some but hell to others.

My tongue felt heavy, weighing a thousand pounds. I tried to swallow, but it was no use. And when the bull rider pushed off the pillar, taking three steps to close the distance between us, a chill skated up my spine. I lifted my chin to keep eye contact as his gaze hardened.

“Like you, Abbie, always have, but I need you to understand something, yeah?” he rumbled, darkness curling at the end of his words.

Slowly, I nodded.

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