Page 19 of Unlikely You

Honey rolled her eyes. “I know that. But if youdid. In some alternative universe.”

There was absolutely no universe where I would do that, but she made me want to play along.

“I think I’d do ‘Boyfriend.’ What about you?”

“The standard. ‘Girls Like Girls.’” I bet she’d kill it.

Silence fell between us for a moment.

“Why did your parents name you Honey?” I blurted out. I hadn’t meant to ask her that. At least, not like this.

She beamed at me and I had to stop myself from leaning closer to her.

“Believe it or not, they named me honey before they owned the apiary. They didn’t buy the farm and do the bee thing until I was in high school. They named me Honey because they thought it was a sweet, unique name.” She shrugged. “And my middle name Beatrix is for Beatrix Potter. Of course.”

I gave her a blank look. The name sort of rung a bell, but I couldn’t come up with any specifics. Maybe something about books?

“You know, the children’s author? Who did the cute little watercolors of the animals? Peter Rabbit? Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle? Jemima Puddle-Duck?”

I couldn’t stop staring at her. Was she speaking English?

But Honey just giggled. “Hold on.”

She typed on her phone and then thrust it in front of my face.

“See?”

I scrolled through a few watercolor illustrations and they looked vaguely familiar.

“Didn’t your parents ever read the books to you?”

Clenching my teeth, I handed the phone back. “No.”

“Oh,” she said, and I didn’t like the scrutiny she was giving me.

“Anyway. I think it’s pretty cool to be named after her. You know she never married? In my own personal headcanon, she was a lesbian. No idea if it’s true or not, but it could be. I like to think about things like that.”

Was she serious?

I glanced down at my phone. The car was still five minutes away. An eternity. At this rate, I should just walk. Maybe then I’d get away from her.

“You should come back. Next week. I’ll buy you a drink and I’ll make sure it doesn’t spill. Please.” If she hadn’t added that last little word, I would have told her to fuck off. I absolutely would have told her to fuck off.

But that little word and the way she said it made me want to say yes.

Instead I said, “maybe.”

She smiled as if I’d said yes and then said something else, but I was doing my best to ignore her. To tune her out. I couldn’t do that, but I could make sure that I wasn’t listening to every single word she said.

Instead I focused on the tone of her voice, her eagerness, her earnestness. She really was sunshine in the dark.

At last, the car arrived and she waved at me as I got in and the driver confirmed I was the right passenger and they were taking me to the correct location.

Honey stood outside the car and gave me a little wave before the driver pulled away from the curb.

Against my will, I turned around and watched her through the window until the driver turned at the end of the street.

The first thingI did when I got home was to strip naked and get in the shower to scrub off the soda and alcohol residue from my skin. It was a relief to wash it away and get into some comfortable clothes. After, I fed a screaming Arson and told her all about what had happened.

---