Page 43 of Catch Me

I shake him off again, the frustration building. “No! You’re not listening to me Nick. I need a break or something, I need…” the words fall off my tongue before I can stop them and when I catch a glimpse of Nick’s face it’s sunken into a panicked frown. But I need to say this, I need to be honest with him and if this relationship is going to work long term, I have to do something to change what’s going on here.

I inhale deeply and hold his eyes with mine. “I need a few days away from this.”

“What? No, Lois I—” he stutters, eyes wide with panic as he takes three huge steps across the room to me, but he doesn’t touch me this time. “Is this over?” His voice cracks as he says those words and I can hear the hurt that’s squeezing his chest tight. I take his hand in mine, lacing our fingers together loosely and he squeezes them like his life depends on it.

“No, I’m not saying that.” I whisper, letting my head drop as the tears force their way through the barrier I’ve been holding them behind.

His breath comes out so heavy, like a worry has been expelled from his lungs. “Thank fuck.” He croaks, sniffing hard and swiping his free hand across his face.

“I do need a break though Nick, a few days to get my thoughts together and decide what I want.”

The bedroom door almost flies off it's hinges and Kyle ducks into the room with us, only a pair of tight, black boxers hiding his package. And to be honest, they don't leave much to the imagination.

“Can you two shut the fuck up? Molly and I can hear you crystal clear down the hall which means Sean can hear you too.” He breathes a sigh and runs an exasperated hand down his face.

“Why are you naked?” Nick says with a smirk, one I'm so fucking happy to see on his face right now. I never want to see that panicked frown ever again.

Kyle’s expression turns coy. “We were…in the middle of something. But Molly sent me out here to tell you both to keep the noise down, you’re not very good at this incognito thing.”

Tears spring in my eyes again and I sniff aggressively, wiping them away with the back of my hand. Nick’s hand is splayed across my lower back and he gently pulls me into his chest where I bury my face.

“You ok Lo?” Kyle asks, suspicion thick in his voice.

I nod against Nick’s chest and a muffled, “Yeah, I'm fine,” leaves my lips.

“What did you do?” He aims this question at Nick who tenses a little at the accusation.

“Nothing.” We both say at the same time. I glance up at him and he takes one of the tears off my cheek with his thumb.

I turn to Kyle who’s still wearing an expression clouded in suspicion. “Honestly Ky, he didn’t do anything.”

Kyle's eyes flit from me to Nick and back again, before he gives a swift nod and disappears from the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

“I need to go,” I say, tearing myself away from the comfort of Nick’s chest and grabbing my things from the ground where I dropped them earlier.

“You promise just a few days right? We’re still together, you’re still mine?” Nick’s voice cracks in half again and I can’t bear to listen to the hurt any longer, it’s making my chest tight.

Our eyes lock for a beat as I reach for his bedroom door. “I’ve always been your’s Nick, that’s not going to change. I just need some breathing space to clear my head and figure out where we go from here. I don't like the secrets anymore, at first it was kind of fun sneaking around but I'm tired Nick, I'm so tired.”

He’s in front of me before I can blink, his warm lips pressed against mine in the softest kiss he’s ever given me.

“I know, me too.” He whispers, forehead dropped to mine before his arms swoop around me and pull me tightly to him. “I love you, so much, you know that right?” His face is buried in my neck and the sensation of his warm breath on my skin almost makes me change my mind about this whole break thing.

“I love you too,” I whimper, clamping my eyes shut to stop any more tears from escaping tonight.

These next few days are going to be hell on earth without Nick, but I have to do this to get some clarity. The secrets, the lies, thehiding, it can’t go on any longer, something has to change, I just don’t know what.

CHAPTER 23

NICK

It’s been less than 24 hours since I saw her, my girl, the one who gives me a reason to get up every morning. I’m already falling apart without her and it’s been one fucking day of this shitty break that she asked for. I get it, I understand why she wants some time to think things over. I’m secretly hoping at the end of this break between us that she decides we should tell Sean about our relationship. I know he’ll hate me, probably try and get me kicked off the hockey team but I’d rather rip the bandaid off now and get it over with. That’s all I can think about as I zip around the rink this afternoon, watching Sean flying towards the goal like a bolt of lightning, so fast you can barely see him moving.The dimpled grin on his face makes my heart ache more, it makes me think of her.

“Hey! Come on man, where’s your head at today?” Kyle yells from the net, wafting his arms in the air at me. They can all tell I'm in my own world this afternoon, but I haven’t told anyone about Lois and I taking a break. I don’t want anyone involved to be perfectly honest and I especially don’t need anyone to share their not so positive opinion about my relationship.

We get off the ice a whole hour later than we’re supposed to. It’s like coach knows I'm dying to get home and go to sleep because then tomorrow will come quicker and I'm one day closer to getting Lois back. I shower and change at record speed, gaining myself more than one confused look in the locker rooms.

Sean grabs my arm before I try to rush out. “Hey, hang on a sec, I wanna talk to you.”

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