Page 48 of Catch Me

Nick jumps off me faster than I’ve ever seen him move. But I can’t look at him, my eyes are pinned on my brother who stands like a statue in the doorway. Sean’s face is reddening bythe second, his ears following suit and his eyes squinting with confusion. I can almost see the questions bouncing around in his mind like bullets while he simply stares at my bedroom floor without a sound.

Nick’s hand lands on my shoulder, his bottom half now covered with a pair of loose fitting, grey sweats. He hands me the thong that was on the ground only seconds ago and I yank them up my legs as Nick pulls a long t-shirt of his over my head. I throw the duvet to one side, no longer needing it as a shield to cover my naked body from my brother. Sean still hasn’t moved a muscle, hasn’t looked at either of us, hasn’t even fucking blinked. But he doesn’t need to look up for me to see the raw anger that’s radiating off him, steam practically puffing out of his ears.

I take a step towards him, thinking maybe I can prevent the volcanic explosion that’s on it’s way. But Nick stops me in my tracks towards Sean, pulling me back by my waist and shaking his head. Without a word he crosses the room to Sean, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry you walked in on that, but you have to know we never wanted you to find out this way man.” Nick’s voice is softer than I’ve ever heard it, like he’s stepped on a mine and is scared to breathe too hard for fear of setting it off.

Sean clears his throat and meets Nick’s eyes, the anger overtaken for a beat. All I can see when I look at him is hurt, betrayal, all the things I never wanted him to feel when he finally found out about us. The guilt is emanating off Nick too, his chocolate eyes are soft, melting even as he looks at his best friend. Without warning Sean snaps out of his trance, raising a fist and cracking it against Nick’s jaw. I barely have time to blink before they’re both on the ground, hitting each other continuously and the only sound I can hear is the splattering of blood as well as the ringing in my ears. I stand there for a moment, jaw hanging open and eyes brimming with tears beforeI actually manage to move my feet. I grab Sean’s huge shoulders and try to haul him off Nick but there’s no point, he weighs 200 pounds and I'm not even half of that. Suddenly Nick flips them and he’s straddling Sean, trying to get a grip on his wrists and pin them to the sides of his head. Eventually Nick has Sean pinned to the ground, both of them with blood smeared across their faces. Sean’s eyes are red with rage as he battles against Nick’s weight, but he can’t move and after a few seconds he stops fighting.

“This isn’t the way Taylor!” Nick yells, red flying out of his mouth. “I’m sorry you walked in on us like that, but I'm not going to fight you anymore.”

Sean’s breathing slows and he catches my eyes. They’re filling with tears, a few trickling down my cheek already as I watch them.

A whispered, “I'm sorry,” leaves my lips and I see Sean's bottom lip droop a little.

He shakes Nick off him and scrambles to his feet, swiping a thumb across his lip and spreading the blood further across his face. He glances at Nick once, then his eyes fall on me again. I want to hug him, to apologise and tell him that this isn’t some random fling, that I love Nick. But the words are stuck in my throat, it’s raw and sore like I’ve been screaming for hours.

Sean sniffs hard and clears his throat, one foot already out the door. “You two are fucked up.”

My heart thrums against my ribs, but I have nothing to say and Sean gives me no time to think anyway. He takes off like a gust of wind, slamming my bedroom door behind him. That’s when I finally break down, falling to my knees and sobbing into the carpet. My heart feels like it’s crawling up my throat, trying to escape the pain that my tightening chest is inflicting on it. I can barely breathe I'm sobbing so hard, there’s almost no sound coming out of my mouth because my throat is like sandpaper.

Nick’s arms come around me, bundling me into his lap on the bedroom floor. He holds me like a baby, rocking me back and forth with whispers of comfort into my ear. I sink my face into his bare chest, my fingernails digging into the back of his neck and I hold him tightly to me. He doesn’t rush me, doesn’t tell me to stop crying or to calm down. He simply holds me there until the tears dry on their own and I peel my face off his body.

“It’s going to be ok,” he murmurs, holding my face in his warm hands and kissing the tip of my nose. “I promise, I'm going to fix this.”

I nod. “Ok,” my voice is croaky and hoarse, an aching pain attacking my throat when I speak. “Let’s clean your face in the bathroom first though.”

Nick pulls me to my feet and leads me to the bathroom, his fingers laced with mine. I grab a clean flannel and he lifts me onto the counter top, turning on the tap for me to wet the cloth and clean his face. His lip is split and I swipe at it extra gently, but he still winces a little. When my lip quivers Nick scrapes the curls back from my face and presses a soft kiss to my cheek.

“I’m fine baby, I promise. It looks worse than it is, trust me.” He laughs a little and pats his chest, “I'm tough you know.”

My lips tilt into a smile without my permission and Nick pulls me into him, hugging me close to his chest. I close my eyes and try to forget what just happened, but I can’t and know how Sean can be. He’s as stubborn as me and I'm scared he’ll never come around to the idea of me and Nick being together. But I can’t choose between them and if he tries to force me I’ll simply resent him for it.

My brother has been avoiding me for almost a solid week now. He’s avoiding Nick too, which has been difficult for him as they’re on the same hockey team and I know Nick is superworried that Sean's going to find a way to get him kicked off. I feel the tension in his shoulders when he’s wrapped around me at night, the permanent frown etched into his eyebrows whenever he thinks I'm not looking at him. Nick has basically moved into my dorm too, he can’t go home, not with Sean there all the time. The heavy atmosphere when they do cross paths is enough to make anyone move out sharpish. I’ve tried calling Sean, approximately 100 times per day but it hasn’t done anything but get me temporarily blocked every evening. I’ve even reached out to Callie, she can almost always bring Sean around to anything she wants him to do. But not this time, he’s so hurt by this thing between Nick and I that he won’t even listen to his soon to be wife.

Somehow it’s already Saturday and the permanent headache that’s engrained itself into my brain is starting to really wear on me. I don’t know how much longer Sean will let this go on, but I don’t plan on letting this stress induced headache rule my life for another day, let alone another week.

I yank the phone from my locker, a bead of sweat still making it’s path down the back of my neck. One positive has come from this week, I’ve been training extra hard in the gym. It’s the only way I'm able to squeeze the pent up frustration — or hurt…whatever the fuck it is — out of me. I shoot a quick text to Nick, letting him know I'll be home later than usual. I don’t tell him where I'm heading after practice though, he’d try to talk me out of it or demand to come with me incase the whole thing takes a nasty turn. But that’s all unnecessary, my brother would never do anything to hurt me, I mean fuck he struggles to even raise his voice at me. I know Sean feels betrayed by us, but most of his anger is directed at Nick and that’s why I have to see him today, to at least force him to hear me out. He thinks one of his best friends has gone behind his back and been fucking his sister, which I guesstechnicallyhe has. But what Sean doesn’tunderstand is how deep mine and Nick’s feelings for each other go, this relationship is so much more than just sex and that’s what I want Sean to understand. I don’t blame him for being mad at both of us, he walked in and saw his best friend balls deep in his little sister, what else is he going to think?

The tyres of my car crunch over the gravel as I drive slowly up towards Sean's house. His car is outside, pulled right up to the grass that lines the front of the house so I know he has no escape from me when I block his car in with mine.

I don’t bother to ring the bell, just twist the chrome doorknob and walk inside like I own the place. Kyle sits on the couch, one leg stretched out across both seats and the other swinging back and forth as it hangs off the edge. He does a double take when he sees me, almost spitting the water from his full mouth as he scrambles to his feet.

“Lo, I don’t think you should go up there right now.” He stutters a little, sliding on his socks as he rushes over to me. “He’s not in a good mood today and I don’t want him yelling at you.”

I stop on the bottom step of the large wooden staircase. “I have to talk to him Ky, I can’t keep doing this.”

Kyle sighs quietly and his chin drops to his chest. “Ok, ok, but let me come with you. I’ll wait outside the door but I’d rather listen in so things don’t get out of hand.”

“He’s not going to hurt me Kyle, he wouldn’t.”

“No, no, I know. He’d never lay a finger on you, or any woman for that matter.” He places his warm hand over mine where it rests on the bannister. “I just know how mad he is right now, mainly at Nick sure, but at you too.”

A tear forms in my eyes and I blink fast to shoo it away. “I know he’s mad Ky, but that’s why I'm here, to put this shit to rest and try and make him see that I love Nick,” I catch Kyle’s understanding expression. “And he loves me.”

He nods, empathetic as always. “He does, that’s for sure.”

“And maybe if Sean can see that then he will let this whole thing go. If he sees how happy Nick makes me, he can get over himself and stop throwing his tantrum.”

---