Page 24 of Catch Me

He moves the doughnuts away, eyes narrowing. “No chance, they’re for Mum. I promised her I’d get them before I came over today.”

I tilt my head, eyes rolling. “I was talking about my niece, not your shitty doughnuts that taste like plasticine.”

“Oh, here, have at her.” He sighs, handing Lily to me. “She’s been crying all night and only stopped when I took her for a walk at 5am to let Callie get some sleep.” The bags under his eyes are evident now I'm looking at him more closely and I feel a pang of guilt for always giving him a hard time. I do love my brother, really I do but we’ve not always been the best of friends. Things have definitely improved between us the older we’ve gotten and I’d say we’re the closest we’ve ever been right now. Which is another reason I am absolutelynottelling him that I’ve been riding his best friend’s dick recently.

I place Lily on one shoulder and move around the piano, smushing my face against Sean's chest and squeezing an arm around his middle. He hugs me back, albeit with confusion.

“What’s that for?” He chuckles, ruffling my hair like I'm five years old.

I lift my shoulders in a light shrug, releasing him from my hug. “Nothing, I just appreciate you making this perfect human.”

Sean’s deep laugh echoes through the vast entryway of our parents’ home, the silence pinging off the walls the moment he’s quiet again.

“Oh, also, Mum’s not home yet. I broke in here to play piano before she got back.”

“Ahh, you broke in…with your key?” He grins, planting a kiss on Lily’s tiny head that still rests on my shoulder. “Come help me with these will you?”

I follow him to the kitchen and grab a plate for the doughnuts. Sean arranges them like a bouquet of flowers for Mum, the pink iced ones lining the border of the plate and the chocolate frosted ones in the centre. Sean has really stepped into his gentleman era since he met Callie and I know I can speak for my mum toowhen I say, I'm eternally grateful to her for bringing that side out of him.

Sean makes Lily a bottle and I feed it to her, rocking her in my arms as she takes tiny gulps of milk, a trail of it running down her little chin. The front door clicks open and Sean takes Lily from me, laying her down for a nap in her bouncy chair just as my mum walks through the archway into the kitchen. She beams at us both, like we’re the best thing she ever created and I wait no more than nought point two-seconds to pull her into a hug.

“Ohhh,” she chuckles lightly, “hi honey, how’s things?”

After a beat she starts to pull back, but I don’t let her. I need her to hold me for a minute, to make me feel small again, when life was simple. The nerves about my date with Nick on Saturday melt away the longer she squeezes me to her.

When I finally release her she holds me at arms length with a puzzled expression. She says nothing though and I don’t need to either for her to know something’s going on with me. She smacks a kiss to Sean's cheek, thanking him for the doughnuts. Then she grabs my hand and pulls me out of the kitchen and sits us both down on the sofa.

“Right, tell me what’s wrong with you.” She says, my hand in her warm one. I think about denying that anything is wrong at all, but Mum can read me like a book, always has.

I sigh heavily. “I’m just nervous about something, but…” I peer over one shoulder towards the kitchen, Sean is out of sight and hopefully ear shot too. “I have a date with someone on Saturday and I really like him, which is making me feel sick to my stomach.”

“Ahh, I see,” she muses, giving my hand a comforting squeeze. “Well, all I can say honey is to try and relax. If you really like this guy then you have to be yourself, show him who you really are. Then and only then will you see if you likes you as much as you like him.”

I nod, contemplating her words. Really they’re useless because I'm almost certain that Nick has seen more of the real me than anyone in the world and he continues to want to be around me all the time.

“There’s something else,” I whisper, checking over my shoulder again. Sean is nowhere to be seen, which is making me more nervous.

Mum flashes a glance in the direction of the kitchen too, then her eyes land back on me with an understanding softness to them. “Oh…he’s one of your brother’s friends isn’t he?”

I gulp hard and nod, a few drops of moisture forming in my eyes. I feel immense guilt for lying to Sean, for being with someone I know for a fact he won’t approve of. But what can I do? My feelings for Nick are already so strong, so intense that there’s no suppressing them anymore.

Mum takes my face in her hands and swipes the single tear away from my cheek. “Listen to me, if you really like this guy, you keep seeing him you hear me? Your brother will just have to get over it.”

“It’s Nick,” I splutter, swallowing the sobs.

“Oh,” she breathes, her eyes widening for a beat before she blinks slowly. “Well, what I said still stands.” She leans in closer, “But maybe break it to your brother gently when the time is right. Him and Nick have been friends for a long time now and you know how he feels about you dating boys who don’t exactly have the best reputation with the ladies.”

“That’s the thing though,” I sigh, “Nick isn’t like that, not really, it’s just a facade. He’s kind and caring and attentive to me. He listens, likereallylistens to me.” I pause, wondering if I should say what’s on the tip of my tongue. “I think I…I think I'm falling in love with him.”

My mum’s mouth turns into a smile, a soft, motherly smile that heats my heart like an apple pie.

“That’sgreathoney. I'm so proud for you, you deserve happiness.” She kisses my forehead, tucks a curl behind my ear and heads back to the kitchen to likely smother her granddaughter with love.

I sit biting my nails and getting lost in my thoughts for the next half an hour. Her words float through my mind on a loop, how I deserve to be happy, how she’s proud of me. But also her words of warning about Sean serve to give me a stomach ache.

I jump when my phone pings in my hand.

Nick:

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