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Kahn was smiling, his hand outstretched while he held Alex with his other arm. Anna tried to take his hand, but found the gap just too big to bridge. But he had Alex. She had to try. She could almost grasp Kahn’s hand…

Alex laughed. The sound was haunting somehow instead of joyous. Kahn looked at the little boy and grinned a “proud poppa” grin, then turned his gaze back to her. He was no longer smiling. Instead, there were tears in his eyes and his hand slowly dropped to his side. He seemed to be falling away from her.

But he wasn’t. She was falling away from him.

She tried to find a hold, but all she found was air. She was reaching into nothingness and the two people she loved most were slowly but surely falling away from her. She screamed…

And sat up in bed, drenched in sweat and gasping for breath.

One quick look to her right assured her Alex was still sleeping.

She needed to splash a little water on her face and get a drink. Anna carefully and quietly gathered all the pillows she could find on the bed and arranged them around Alex. Sliding out of the bed, she made her way to the dimly lit bathroom.

As she pressed the button that would give her cool water, she looked in the mirror over the sink to confirm her suspicion. She looked as bad as she felt. She ached in her chest and upper abdomen and even though there were no marks, her face felt like it should have been black and blue. Her eyes had dark shadows underneath them and her skin was damp. Her lips were so pale, they almost disappeared into her face.

Dropping her head and bracing herself on the countertop with her hands, she bit back a sob. She’d been hard on Kahn. Damn hard. True, she had reason to be, but his misery wasn’t wasted on her. She knew he was only trying to do the right thing for himself and his people. Knowing he was so off balance, she was miserable because she wasn’t big enough to put aside her anger and try to see things from his point of view. She just couldn’t understand why he hadn’t told his father about her. Why had he treated her as if he didn’t know her? Like they didn’t have intimate knowledge of each other.

She began to cry. Losing Kahn was going to be harder than she thought given the short time they had known each other. Then again, she had wanted him on some primitive, emotional level since the first time she saw him. She could forgive him for anything except not wanting her. He might want her in private, but if he could not acknowledge their relationship in public, before his people or even his family, she could not be with him. She would not be his mistress. She had more self-respect than that.

Lost in self-pity, she turned around when she heard water sloshing gently behind her just as Kahn raised his big body out of the bath.

“Anna.” His voice was husky, rough. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked almost as bad as she did. But he was still beautiful to her. So beautiful it hurt.

Water clung in a mesmerizing array of droplets to the fine hair on his chest and arms. The dim light accented the hollows and sinew making him look more powerful and sexier than ever before. Instantly, her pussy began to weep with wanting him. But it was the ache in his voice that drew her undivided attention.

She looked at him. Really looked at him. The sorrow in his face mirrored her own, and a little sob escaped before she could stop it. She almost ran into his arms. Almost. Pride held her legs rooted in place and stubbornness raised her chin.

“Tarae. Please. I was looking out for both of us.” His face was shadowed and it was hard to read the emotions there, but what was inside was another story. “I was trying to be a leader instead of a mate.” He rubbed his eyes wearily with a hand. “My family has held the throne of Gothe’mar for over a thousand years because the people believe my family held their best interests at heart. I feared they would not accept a queen not of Gothe’mar on the throne.”

“I don’t understand.” Her eyes narrowed.

“My father is king of all Gothe’mar. My family has reigned for longer than any ruling family in recorded history. It is my duty to lead and look after our people, to put their lives above my own. I have been burdened with this since I was first old enough to understand what it all meant. I have always been taught that my people’s needs come before my own.” He moved a little closer to the pool’s edge, closer to Anna. “As my father has recently pointed out, in thinking of my duty to my people, I neglected the most important duty of all -- that to you. Our relationship is not about me solely. Without you, there would be nothing. I would be nothing.” She could feel him will her to look at him, and she couldn’t help but meet his gaze. “I should have treated you with more respect.”

“Yes. You should have.” Anna wanted him with all her being. She wanted to reach for him, to move into his arms and feel his body around her. She could feel part of her soul being torn apart knowing that she could never be what this man needed. Her heart was breaking.

Kahn moved toward her a little more, his arm reaching out to her before he dropped it. “My father approves of our union. He seemed a bit amused by the situation I’ve managed to create for myself where you’re concerned. He will help me figure out how to see you accepted by our people.”

“Kahn,” Anna stated warily, not sure how to express herself without further hurting him. “I can’t be anyone other than who I am. If you think your people can’t accept me as I am, then I’m sorry. I won’t live a lie even to please you.”

“I would never ask that of you.”

“What were you thinking when you treated me like you did? You were obviously concerned about it then. Why should I believe things have changed now?” Anna was trying very hard to express her anger, her hurt, reasonably. All she really wanted to do was rush into his embrace and fuck him until neither of them could move. Either that or slap his handsome face.

“It was a mistake. A huge mistake. One I’ll regret for the rest of my life. I asked for your trust, then showed how little I deserved it.”

This side of Kahn wassounexpected. This was a man who commanded armies, who was to be king of his world. He inspired fear and dread in the hearts of all who saw him. Yet he was willing to show Anna just how vulnerable he really was when it came to her. She was torn. If she walked away from him, he probably wouldn’t drop his pride a second time. On the other hand, if she gave in, he’d know he just had to act contrite and she’d forgive him anything.

In the end, she searched her own heart. She couldn’t make herself believe that Kahn was anything other than an honorable man. He had been unsure of how to handle things, probably for the first time in his life. Second-guessing himself had proven to be a mistake and he was admitting it. How bad could he really be?

Before she could change her mind, Anna pulled her sleep shirt over her head and slid her panties off her hips, stepping out of them as she walked to the tub. “We’ll sort things out.” She slipped into the water and into Kahn’s embrace, feeling the squeezing sensation around her heart ease a little. When he would have claimed her mouth, her hand came up against his lips to stop him. “This is to get the physical relief we both need and can’t fight, Kahn. Things are far from settled between us. Do you understand?”

“Yes,tarae. But it is a beginning.” He smiled at her, a tender smile full of love and relief and hope.

He did kiss her then. Slowly, languorously, savoring the very essence of her. Anna knew he needed her as much as she needed him and it was a heady sensation. She thought she would climax from his kiss. His feelings were hers and she knew how much he appreciated the dance her tongue was doing with his.

It was impossible to tell which feelings were her own, but she didn’t care. The only things in the world that mattered to her were this man in her arms, and the baby sleeping on the impossibly large bed in the next room.

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