Page 73 of Lock Me Out

Just like interest in George, Cecilia, and Mike will pass. The explosion of reports in the day or two immediately following the fire died down in no time. That’s the thing about a twenty-four-hour news cycle: there’s always another story to catch people’s interest. It’s like the whole world has turned into an infant who needs a rattle shaken in front of their face to keep them entertained. At least it works in our favor right now while we lie low, waiting to see whether there’s any further investigation into the so-called accident. A tragedy that wasn’t tragic at all.

By the time I’m finished, the smell of bacon has started to creep under the bathroom door. It makes my stomach growl, and now I’m in a hurry to get dressed. If I don’t grab my share as soon as it comes out of the pan, I might not get any—unless my brother suddenly doesn’t like bacon anymore.

I still feel like I have to pinch myself. I have no idea how long this arrangement is going to last or how we’re going to make it work. I only know I want to enjoy it as long as I can. I want to soak up the simple ease we’ve found together—at least when it’s just the three of us, without the rest of the world getting in the way. It’s a shame we can’t shut them out for good.

I’m finishing pulling a T-shirt over my head when I reach the kitchen, where Nix is already sitting down with a piece of bacon in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.

“Shit. I was hoping you’d take your time so I could get more of this.” He holds up a piece of crispy bacon before taking a big bite.

“I made more than enough for everybody.” Leni smiles at me from in front of the stove, and it takes a second for me to catch my breath. Sunshine pours in through the window next to her, making a halo effect around her head. I could drop to my knees in front of her delicate beauty.

But there is a solid core of strength running through her, like steel. She proved that when she followed us to George and Cecilia’s. Even if I wish she hadn’t risked herself, she saved our lives. There was no way we could’ve gotten out of there without her.

“Looking pretty good, brother.” Nix runs a hand over his bruises and the swelling in his jaw. “Colorful.”

Leni runs a hand over her throat but doesn’t say a word before turning back to the stove to finish scrambling a bunch of eggs. When I shoot Nix a look, he cringes. We might be able to joke about our injuries, but she’s not ready to do that and probably never will be. Her sense of humor isn’t as dark and twisted as ours.

“So what’s up today?” he asks, trying to change the subject for her sake. “We’ve already run through every season of that baking show—I’m pretty sure I could be a competitor at this point.”

“I know you must be bored to death watching all of my shows.” She sits down with us, heaping scrambled eggs onto her plate from the platter, which she sets in the middle of the table, and adding a couple of pieces of bacon. “We should watch something everybody is into.”

Nix and I exchange another look. It’s incredible, really, the way we can have an entire conversation without speaking. That’s what no one else understood during those months we wereapart. We’re not twins, but we’re close enough to understand each other without a word. It’s the sort of connection that doesn’t fade. I would have known if he was really gone.

And that’s why I know now what he’s thinking—it’s the same thing that’s been on my mind. We can’t stay locked up like this forever. There will have to come a time when we can start fresh, and that means all of us. Nix included.

I need to find the right words, which is not exactly something I’m great at. “It might be time to start talking about where we go from here,” I murmur, glancing up from my plate to check Leni’s reaction.

She sets her knife and fork down with a soft, resigned sigh. “I’m glad somebody finally brought it up. I didn’t know how to do it myself.”

She always finds a way to surprise me—not that I’m stupid enough to think she’s blindly happy about being cooped up here with us every day. She’s a smart, thoughtful person. Of course she’s already wondered how long things can continue this way.

Sitting back in her chair, she looks from me to Nix and back again before lifting her shoulders in a shrug. “I’m open to any ideas.”

“When did this turn into a business meeting?” Nix asks, making her crack a grin.

“In a way, it is sort of a business meeting,” she retorts, sticking her tongue out at him. “We’re talking about the business of where we go next. There’s a lot that needs to be considered.”

Folding her arms, she hits him with a serious look. “For starters, are you sticking with us, or are you going off on your own? Nowthat George and the rest of them are gone, you don’t have to stay close for our protection.”

“Are you kicking me out?” he asks around a mouthful of bacon. “Aren’t you supposed to get thirty days notice when you’re being evicted?”

She’s not smiling, and the way her face goes still must change his mind, since he puts down his fork and gets serious. “Sorry. Trying to lighten the mood. It’s been pretty fucking dark around here lately.”

“I’m not trying to evict you. That’s not what anybody wants,” Leni tells him, shaking her head. She looks sad—so sorrowful. “But if you want to go live your own life, I don’t want to stop you. And I don’t think it would be right if Colt tried to stop you either,” she adds with a look at me, like she’s warning me to stay quiet. I would normally be irritated by that, but the opposite is true. She wants so much for Nix to have what he needs.

He doesn’t say anything right away, like he’s really thinking about it. What is there to think about? It’s enough to make me wonder if he does want to go. Maybe he finds it too hard to be around us together. Maybe he doesn’t want to share.

“Do you want me to stay?” he asks, going from looking at her to looking at me. “Don’t feel like you have to say yes. You know I’ve had my reasons for staying away.”

Leni doesn’t know about our conversation; about the things we’ve confessed to each other. “And you remember what I told you,” I counter.

“I’m lost,” she admits with a soft laugh.

“You remember who we came from,” I murmur, staring at him. “Both of them. You can be whoever it is you decide to be. It’s up to you. And we’d be here for you,” I add.

“I don’t want you to go, Nix.” I’m happy to hear her say that, and I can tell he is too. I keep my mouth shut, since they have their own shit going on. It’s one thing that he accidentally killed Dad, but he also killed her mother. I can’t step in and get in the middle of it. One of the hundreds of things Leni has taught me without trying.

“All right,” he announces before grabbing another piece of bacon. “I’ll stay. You’re welcome.”

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