Page 13 of Lock Me Out

“Welcome back,” I whisper to her, listening to her slow, soft breathing. Dad couldn’t kill her. She’s too strong for that. She knew she had something to stick around for: her sons, one ofwhom is standing at her bedside and doesn’t look much like himself anymore.

I wonder what she would think of me if she knew what I’ve done. Who am I kidding? I don’t have to wonder. I know what she would think, and while there aren’t many things in this world that can shame me, that’s one of them. She would be disappointed. She would probably wonder if she did something wrong. She didn’t—I would need her to understand she didn’t. She always did her best for us.

And look what we did for her.

“I’ll try to do better,” I whisper, listening hard for any sounds from the hallway. Things seem quiet out there, but that can change anytime. I swear, these people wait until a patient is deep asleep before going in to take vitals. “I will. All you have to do is rest and get stronger. I’ll be back to see you, I promise.”

It’s surreal, doing something I never thought I’d be able to do again. Speaking to my mom, looking down at her, listening to her breathing. I don’t know what to do with this feeling besides hating the man who put her in this condition—but no! He doesn’t deserve to be part of this moment. If there is a hell, he’s in it, and I hope he’s suffering.

If I’m not careful, I’ll end up there with him.

It doesn’t take much to sneak back out before anybody notices I’m here. If I felt safe responding to Colt’s emails, I would warn him about the shitty security around here.

But then again, no, because that shitty security means I can see her. This can’t be the last visit. We have so much time to make up for.

7

COLT

It’s notlike me to be impulsive—at least, not in a positive way. I’ve done plenty of things off the top of my head, last second, not giving them much thought. But nothing like this.

Watching from the front window, I confirm for myself the delivery has been made according to our agreement. Once I’m satisfied, I make sure to send a tip to the guy who drove the car over and parked it in front of the building like I requested. Leni is in the kitchen, humming to herself while she wipes down the counters after dinner.

There are times, like right now, when I want to pinch myself and ask whether this is really us, living this domestic fantasy. Then again, I don’t want to wake up if it is a dream. No pinching.

“Hey, there’s something downstairs.” Sliding my phone into my pocket, I shrug when she looks at me in confusion. “I don’t know. Something down on the street. Maybe we should go take a look.”

“What are you talking about?” she asks, laughing in disbelief but following me anyway once she’s dried her hands.

“It’s just something you need to see for yourself.” I feel like a kid on Christmas morning, running down the stairs to the lobby, keeping an eye on the brand-new cherry-red Mustang I bought for Leni.

Will she like it? Who wouldn’t? What I’m more worried about is whether she’ll see it as the gesture I intended. This is my way of showing her how sorry I am for everything that went on in the past. She deserves something like this, something big and dramatic. The sort of gift anyone would dream of receiving. Because she’s a gift to me. I wish I could find the words to tell her, but I can’t. So this will have to do instead.

Once we reach the sidewalk, I let out a high-pitched whistle of appreciation. Really, it’s a fucking gorgeous car—the kind that turns heads when it passes on the street. Sleek, shiny, fitted with every extra feature the guy at the dealership suggested. I’m sure he’s still glad I walked in a couple of days ago and made the purchase. I can only imagine what his commission must have been.

“Wow. That is really beautiful.” Of course, Leni hasn’t put two and two together, admiring the car the way anyone else would. I do a lap around it, peering inside, making sure everything is where it should be. “But I’m not sure why we had to come downstairs to look at it.”

“Hey, look at this.” While she watches in wide-eyed surprise, I open the driver’s door and take the keys from under the visor.

“What are you doing?” she gasps, looking around with her mouth hanging open. She is so innocent. “You can’t just take somebody else’s keys! Why would they even leave them there?”

Good question. “Because they left them for you.”

“What is this?” She’s laughing a little, breathless, standing still by the front bumper. I see the way she’s taking in one part at a time, her eyes darting over the car’s surface, but the rest of her doesn’t move.

“What does it look like?” I ask with a grin.

“It looks like a really beautiful car.” Finally, she reaches out and touches her fingertips to the hood before gliding them over the shining ornament mounted to the grille. She’s afraid to touch it much more than that.

“It is a really beautiful car.” Holding the keys high, I dangle them enticingly. “Your beautiful car. Surprise.”

What did I expect? She’s not the kind of girl who would jump up and down, squeal and clap her hands. She wouldn’t throw her arms around me, bounce up and down and promise me a blowjob in exchange—not that I would turn it down. I’m not out of my mind.

That doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be nice to see a little excitement or hear a little gratitude. No, in fact, she looks disappointed. Like she’s not sure how to react.

“What’s the problem?” It’s not easy keeping a smile plastered on my face when one uncertain moment goes by after another. “Wrong color?”

Her mouth moves, but nothing comes out at first. Finally, she shakes herself and tries to smile when she looks my way. “What is this for?”

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