Page 29 of Ink & Stardust

“I love you, girls, you know that?”

“Of course you do,” they say in unison.

“Seriously, though,” Maisie adds. “Anything we can do?”

“No.” I shake my head. “Nothing blocking his number won’t solve.” Which I promptly do, hoping that if he leaves a voicemail, it won’t go through because honestly, I don’t think I could bear to hear his voice right now. “Now, if you two don’t mind, I have a ton of schoolwork to get done.” I turn, powering on my laptop.

“Is that your way of telling us to fuck off?” Charlotte snorts.

“It’s my way of telling you to keep it down.” I force a smile, turning back to my computer.

I wasn’t lying about having schoolwork. I do. But there’s no chance I could concentrate enough to get any of it done right now.

Why did he call me?

What could he have possibly wanted?

My mind swirls in confusion, anger, and most prominently, pain.

That’s all I ever feel when I think of them.

Gut-wrenching, soul-sucking pain.

I keep telling myself that I’m over him. That I’m over whattheydid to me. But clearly, I’m not. Not when one phone call shakes the very foundation of the façade I’ve managed to construct around my life.

It’s not like I’m still in love with him. I’m not. And I’d never take him back, under any circumstances. I have way more self-respect than that. But what he did... What they did... It has destroyed my ability to trust myself. To trust the world around me. And because of this, I find it impossible to give my whole self to anyone.

Even with Maisie and Charlotte, I hold back. Two months living together and they still only know a fraction of who I really am. They know me on the surface, but the only people who know me on a deeper level are my family, and even them I find myself hiding from, only sharing what I think they want to hear and not what’s actually true.

Leo stole my ability to connect with people, to truly let them in, because deep down I’m scared that if I do, they’ll hurt me the way he did. The wayshedid. And I simply can’t let that happen... ever again.

“Your brother is so much hotter in person.” Maisie leans in, practically screaming to be heard over the loud music that pulses around us.

“Are you trying to make me nauseous?” I crinkle my nose in disgust.

“I think Char has a crush on him.” She giggles, the alcohol making her more brazen than she already is.

“Don’t tell me that.” I choke out a laugh, shaking my head.

“Admit it. You’re having fun.” She smiles like a lunatic, swinging my arms as we dance, if dancing is what you’d call what we’re doing. I’d say we’re more swaying than dancing, but you get the idea.

“I admit it.” I stick my tongue out at her, laughing at the splatters of paint that cover her otherwise flawless face.

So yeah, they weren’t kidding about the whole glow paint thing. They literally squirt paint on you as you walk through the front door and then give you squeeze bottles of paint to squirt at each other. Every single person in here is a mess of bright colors that glow beneath the black lights that illuminate the otherwise dark room.

“We got shots!” I turn toward my brother’s voice as he and Charlotte appear through the crowd, both of them carrying four shots each.

My smile widens at the sight of him, even though he just left to get drinks less than five minutes ago. It wasn’t until I opened the door yesterday and he was standing there with that goofy smile of his that I realized just how much I’d missed him and how much more I’m going to miss him once he leaves tomorrow.

“Two for you.” Char hands Maisie two bright pink plastic shot glasses, while my brother passes me two neon green ones.

“Two?” I arch a brow.

“As tightly wound as you are.” He grins. “Trust me, sis, you need them.”

I bite back the comment that threatens to spill out, in which I tell my brother, whom I love dearly, to fuck right off, which tells me I’m not as drunk as they’d like me to be, considering I can still hold my tongue.

I’m trying to pace myself, but with the way these three are shoving drinks in my hand, I’m not sure I stand a chance. In truth, River is the only reason I’m even drinking. One, because he said he’s always wanted to get drunk with his baby sister. And two, because I know I’m safe with him. Even if I end up so drunk I can’t walk out of this building, he’s got me. And it’s only because of this that I toss back the first shot, grimacing as it burns a new pathway to my stomach.

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