Page 89 of Ink & Stardust

“Isn’t it?” I let out a humorless laugh.

“Why can’t we just continue on with the way things were?”

“Because I don’t want to. I want more, Kai. I wantallof you, not just parts of you. And if you can’t give me that, I think it’s better if we walk away now.”

“I don’t know how.”

“You don’t know how to what?”

“Give you all of me.” He blows out a hard breath, dragging a hand through his hair.

“That sounds eerily like a cop-out to me.”

“It’s not. It’s the truth. Even if I wanted to, I don’t know if I could.”

“Whatdoyou know, Kai?” I say bitterly, letting my anger take the lead instead of the agony that’s swelling inside of me like an overinflated balloon.

“That I don’t want this to be over.”

I don’t want this to be over either.

I don’t want last night to be the last time I fall asleep in his arms. I don’t want it to be the last time I revel in the weight of his body on top of mine. That I lose myself in the power of his touch, of his kiss, of the way he says my name when he’s on the peak of climax.

Even the thought has me spiraling so far out of control, I feel like I’m free-falling, flailing through the air, trying desperately to latch onto something to catch myself and coming up empty.

“Neither do I,” I finally admit. “But we don’t always get what we want, now do we?”

“Lyric...” He reaches for me, but I’m quick to step back.

“Please, don’t.” I shake my head. “Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

He opens his mouth but then quickly snaps it closed, like he’s thought better of whatever it is he was about to say.

I take that as my cue and start to turn.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” he blurts.

I stop mid-turn to look at him.

“No.” I give him a sad smile. “But I can’t be with you knowing the way I feel and knowing that you don’t feel the same.”

Emotion he tries to hide swims within the depths of his blue eyes. Eyes that I would have stared into for the rest of my existence if he had let me.

“There’s a reason I told you I’d only hurt you because I knew that eventually I would. That eventually we’d find ourselves standing right here in this very spot.”

“Well, congratulations on being able to accurately predict the future. Someone should give you a medal for that.” I give him a humorless smile.

I let my eyes drink in the sight of him one final time. The curve of his jaw. The bump across the bridge of his nose. The fullness of his lips. The scruff of hair that peppers his handsome face. I commit every inch of it to memory, and then I do something that feels impossible in every way. I turn and walk away from Kai Elliot for a second time today.

The only difference is, this time, he lets me go.

Chapter Sixteen

“What do you mean you ended things?” Maisie stares down at me in disbelief.

“He doesn’t feel the same way about me that I feel about him.” I sniff, wiping my nose on what feels like the hundredth tissue Charlotte has placed into my hand since she found me sitting on the floor nearly an hour ago.

I’m still in the same spot, tucked beneath the open window in our room, listening to the rain as it falls from the sky, almost as if the heavens are crying right along with me.

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