Page 41 of Ink & Stardust

Too bad you won’t have him just for yourself, that bitch of an inner voice chimes in, really on a roll as of late.

I hate it when she’s right. Because Kai was pretty straightforward that he couldn’t give me anything. That means no commitment. He’s free to sleep with whomever he chooses.

Unless... I shake the thought away, deciding that’s a problem for another day.

“So when are you seeing him next?”

“I’m not sure. We didn’t really get a chance to discuss anything. We were kinda interrupted in the heat of the moment by one of his friends and I was so embarrassed I made up some stupid excuse about going to the library and booked it.”

“You didn’t?”

I nod, facepalming.

“I’m such an idiot.” I groan.

“Stop it. You’re not an idiot. But your experience is lacking and you could definitely use some guidance here. Lucky for you, you have me.” She gives me a cheeky grin, the kind that immediately makes me nervous.

Yeah, maybe telling Charlotte wasn’t the best choice. Then again, I had to tell someone, or I was likely to explode.

“I think I can manage.” I start to back away. “Besides, I actually do have a crap ton of schoolwork to get done.”

“You’re a horrible liar, you know that.” She laughs, shaking her head at me. “Just know I’m here if you need me.”

“I appreciate that.” I plop down at my desk.

“In the meantime, I could use a shower.” She grabs her robe and shower bag.

“Is that what I smell?” I tease, laughing when she gives me the most seriously offended face she can muster before slipping out into the hallway.

Once she’s gone and the silence of the room settles over me, I start to question every single decision I made that put me here. And while it’s in my nature to want to regret kissing Kai, for shamelessly asking him to kiss me, I just can’t bring myself to do it.

I want him. It really is that simple. The rest will figure itself out, or at least that’s what I tell myself to keep the inevitable doubt from creeping in.

Chapter Seven

“I can’t believe you guys talked me into another freaking party.” I groan as we pull up outside of the frat house.

It’s been exactly five days since I kissed Kai. And exactly five days since I’ve seen or spoken to him. It’s not uncommon for me not to see him for days at a time. It is, however, a little bothersome, given what transpired.

I can’t help but feel like he’s avoiding me. Which is probably why I let Maisie talk me into going tonight even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I need a distraction, plain and simple.

“It’ll do you good to get your mind off things,” Charlotte murmurs close to my ear so Maisie can’t hear, bumping her hip into mine.

I feel horrible keeping Maisie out of the loop, but this is hard enough to navigate without adding any further complications to the mix. Deep down I know the real reason I haven’t told her is because I’m afraid she’ll think less of me, and maybe also that she won’t approve.

Not that I need hers, or anyone else’s, approval. I don’t. But I also know myself well enough to know that if it bothers Maisie, I won’t go through with it. Not that there’s anything to go through with, considering Kai has basically fallen off the face of the earth. So really, it’s a moot point anyway.

“It’s the annual top swap party. No way I was going to let you miss it.” Maisie steps up to stand at my other side.

“You two say that abouteveryparty.” I give her a pointed look. “How manyannualparties do these people do?”

“You have to admit the paint party was pretty epic,” Char chimes in.

I open my mouth to disagree but then snap it shut because, really, it was a great time. My mind drifts back to the way the night ended, the things Kai said, and my heart kicks against my ribs, reminding me that she’s still in there beating, despite everything she’s been through.

“That’s what I thought.” She grins, taking my non-answer as a victory.

“I’m surprised either of you even remembers it,” I retort, looking between them.

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