Page 20 of Ink & Stardust

Not with everything that happened.

Not with how I had a panic attack in the middle of a freaking party, or that my rescuer was none other than the man I’ve been daydreaming about for weeks.

He’sdifferentthan I expected. The way he handled me so gently, like I was precious glass and he was terrified of breaking me. But then the way he looked at me in the car, like he could eat me alive right where I sat... That man is the definition of a walking contradiction.

And if I was a bit distracted by him before, now I’m completely consumed. Desperate to know every detail about him. Desperate to get close to him and unlock all those secrets he keeps hidden behind a cocky smile and an arrogant attitude.

Because he’s not the only one who’s been paying attention...

Chapter Four

“Are you going to tell me why you left the party so early?” Charlotte sits up in bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes with the back of her hand as she lets out a loud yawn.

“I already told you.” I tie my hair up in a messy bun, using the mirror on the back of the door to make sure it looks satisfactory before turning back to face her. “I wasn’t feeling well.”

Not technically a lie. I actually wasn’t feeling good. I just don’t mention the almost nuclear meltdown I had or the part where Kai Elliot was in any way involved.

I still haven’t fully wrapped my head around it. I spent most of the night replaying it on repeat. Every look. Every touch. Every word. I dissected it over and over again, probably reading way too much into his actions.

Just because he’s a bit of a womanizer doesn’t mean he’s an asshole.

And just because he helped you doesn’t mean he gives a shit about you, my inner voice reminds me, trying to keep my expectations fully in check.

I know better than to expect things of men, especially men who look the way he does.

“I was convinced you’d left with Owen when you texted, but then I saw him a few minutes later with some brunette in his lap that definitely wasn’t you.” Charlotte’s words plant me firmly in the present.

“He was with another girl?” Unease settles in my stomach. Not jealousy per se, but a similar feeling. Or maybe it’s relief...

“Practically swallowing her whole face on the futon.” She grimaces.

“Well, it’s not like we’re dating or anything.” I shrug, trying to act completely unaffected by the news that the guy I’ve been talking to the last few days hooked up with someone else so casually, like it was just another day in the life.

Though, if we’re being fair, I did kind of leave with another guy. It wasn’t like that, of course, but how the hell would he know what it was like? Though, given how drunk he was, it’s unlikely he even remembers that I left the party early, let alonewhoI left with.

“Fuck that. He invited you to the party and then ended up hooking up with someone else? I’d be pissed.”

“Well, I did kind of bail on him.” I shrug.

“And that gives him an excuse to fuck someone else?” She throws her long legs over the side of her bed and hops down to the floor with ease.

“Do you know for sure that they slept together? Or were they just kissing?”

“Because that makes a difference?”

“We’re not dating. He has every right to make out with someone else if he wants to.”

“If you think that, then you must not like the guy very much.”

I consider her words, realizing she’s not exactly wrong. I mean, I do like him. He just doesn’t excite me like a certain tattooed distraction has as of late.

“Well, after last night, it probably doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Why? Did something else happen?” She flops down in her desk chair, grabbing an open water bottle before taking a long pull.

“No...” I shake my head, kinda wishing I hadn’t said anything. The last thing I want to do right now is explain my anxiety or the crippling panic attacks that sometimesaccompany it. And I definitely don’t want to get intowhoactually helped me through it. I still don’t know how to take any of it. He was just so surprisingly... sweet.

“Definitely something.”

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