Page 67 of My Darling Mayhem

Cruz got closer to my ear and spoke louder. “Well, I’m the one who wished for it, silly.”

My nose burned as tears lined my eyes. He’d wished for Archer to like me, for us to be here with him. A peace settled over me that I had never experienced. Something so foreign as I watched Archer walk like I was being pulled by him or like we were connected. For once in my life, I wasn’t all alone.

The other members began pulling into rows, lining up their bikes without fitting into any set parking spaces. It was as though they’d just created their own. My steps picked up, hurrying a bit to get closer to Archer. Not that I was afraid…I just, I was nervous. I had arrived with their president, and I still wasn’t entirely sure what that meant or how serious that was.

But something told me I was about to find out.

I had occasionally imagined what it might mean for Archer to be the president of a motorcycle club when thinking of him in those moments I swore I wouldn’t. Or when I was trying to justify why it would be such a bad idea to place my trust in a man who held the allegiance and attention of such a group, but nothing could have prepared me for actually witnessing it.

I was very good at determining how a man watched other men in power and Archer’s men…they watched his every move as if he were the most important person in the world. These men didn’t want Archer’s position or think someone else should have it; they looked at him like they’d do anything to protect him. It was the closest, I thought, that I’d ever come to seeing men look at a man they considered their king.

“So, Wren, right?” A woman named Rosy had sidled up to me, handing me a can of beer. “How did you tame the untamable?” Her brown eyes were bright, and her smile seemed friendly as she spoke with me. I cracked the top of the beer and sipped it carefully, knowing there was no way I’d ever drink enough to lose my faculties while my son was here, surrounded by strangers. I hoped that Archer understood how much trust I was putting in him to even be here with Cruz, to begin with.

My eyes trailed over to Archer, seeing him sit in a circle with a few other men, but Cruz and Kane took up both sides of where he sat while he helped them arrange their marshmallows for roasting and prepping smores.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” My attention slid back to Rosy.

She was tall with frosted white hair, dark roots, and bold makeup. She wore a leather cut; I was learning they weren’t called vests but cuts, over her long-sleeved shirt. Her patch said she was the property of someone named Nolan.

Rosy sipped her drink and then lifted it toward Archer. “Never seen him with anyone like this. These outings are for families. In the past, he’d arrive late, eat a burger, drink a beer, and then just take off again. It was like being around all of us was difficult for him. He always seemed to fit in the role of president, but none of us ever imagined he might settle down.”

My heart rioted, feeling swollen as I considered her words. Archer smiled at Cruz as he helped pull his marshmallow stick out of the fire. He looked happy, smiling and laughing while the men around him helped their kids.

He looked like a dad.

Rosy took pity on my lack of conversational skills as I watched the man I was slowly but positively falling in love with. “Looks like maybe he isn’t the only one this is new for. You seemlike the type to not let random men around your kid, which makes this much more interesting.”

I was still watching him as I muttered in reply, “How can you tell?”

“You’re a single mom, and I can tell you’re a good one. Which means you’ve fought like hell for your kid. People mean well, but no one really understands until they’ve lived it. Being the only person your kid has in the whole world. It’s a scary and daunting feeling to wield that alone, to protect your kid’s heart and make sure they’re safe from anyone who might hurt them. You pay for everything on your own; you’re the only one on duty when they’re sick or scared. All the bills are yours to worry about. The damn grass has to get mowed, that’s on you. The garbage, holidays. Even if you have helpful family, it’s not the same. It builds up this thickness around you and gives off a vibe. I can feel it from you.”

My focus was on her now, her kind eyes and meaningful gesture as she spoke about things no one had ever seemed to understand about me. My throat felt thick as I battled a rogue emotion that wanted an escape. No one had ever quite surmised me in that way before.

“I was a bitch to him in the beginning.” I laughed, sipping my drink and feeling my voice crack slightly.

Rosy laughed, shaking her head. “Guess you’d have to be.”

“He was so nice and helpful. Scared the living shit out of me, to be honest.”

“Didn’t hurt he looked like that on top of it, right?”

My face broke into a smile as laughter spilled out of me. “Right.”

“Well, for what it’s worth. All of us Old Ladies really like you, and we’re excited to see him so happy.” Her hand came to my arm and gently squeezed before walking off. I watched as she bent down and pulled a little toddler from a man who wore a cutthat said, Nolan. He kissed her, and she fell into his arms while holding the toddler. Something shifted in my chest.

Was that envy?

Did I want that with Archer, a toddler with his hair and a piece of leather on my back that said I belonged to him?

Yes.

Archer’s eyes found mine from across the distance, and I held his gaze while I made my way over. It felt electric, as if that piece of lightning really was trapped inside him, and now it wanted a way inside me, too.

Kane and Cruz relaxed in the little camping chairs that someone had brought. Once I was in front of Archer’s knees, he tugged on my hand and pulled me into his lap. I went easily, feeling protected and safe, as he pulled me under his chin and began talking to his men. They spoke of rides they’d been on, crazy things they’d done, and old memories of times past. Laughter erupted nearly every five seconds, but it was refreshing and freeing. My son had a smile that hadn’t waned since we arrived, and seeing him so happy was a feeling I’d never thought I’d have.

Of being whole and a part of something.

It was well past dinner while Kane and Cruz played with other kids, happily yelling and running, when Archer tugged me close.

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