Taylor suddenly touched my face, forcing my eyes up until I was meeting hers. “You make us whole, so even if he one day decides he wants to be in her life, you were here first. You loved her first. She’s yours, Juan. Just like I am. If you want us…then you have us.”
Fuck, she broke me. I had never felt this broken, but this was it. I was done for.
I moved so I was lying next to Taylor, then I pulled her until she was lying in my arms, and the baby too.
“I love you both. Iwantyou both. So, if you’ll have me…then…”
“Yes,” Taylor rushed out.
“No more games…no more walls. You’re mine, and I’m yours,” I said, meeting her eyeline.
She sat up gently and set the baby in the lounger across from where we were entwined.
“No more games.” She pressed a kiss to my bottom lip. “No more walls.” She moved until she was pressing her lips into the corner of my eye. “You’re mine.” Her tongue darted out, tracing the shell of my ear until she was whispering, “And I’m yours.”
I grabbed her, gripping the side of her face until our lips landed in chaos against each other. My tongue swept into her mouth while my lips pressed a solemn promise into hers. Our mouths moved in cadence while Taylor’s hand delved into my hair, pulling on the ends, deepening the kiss.
“I love you. I have loved you for so long.” She broke away, gasping, then slammed her lips back to mine.
“No, I’ve loved you…you’ve driven me crazy for the past two years.” I returned the messy rhythm of kisses along her jaw and neck.
“I have you beat. I’ve loved you for four, not counting this year…so I’ve loved you longer.”
I moved until she was cradled under me, my arms caging her in. I dipped my head until I was licking the swell of her breast.
“You may have loved me longer, but I’ll probably outlive you, so in the end it will be me who loves you longer.”
A scoff left her lips, which rumbled in her lungs and forced a smile from my lips. “You think I’ll die first?”
“You eat like crap, babe. Sorry.”
I smiled, shoving her shirt up, marking my way down her stomach. It wasn’t entirely flat yet, so I wasn’t surprised when she tried to shove me away, but I stayed where I was.
“No. I get to love you and touch you, fuck you at whatever physical size you happen to be. Don’t ever push me away from loving this body.” I pressed a kiss to her belly button. “This skin.”
She let out a sigh.
“You’re too sore still?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Not sore, but the doc said six weeks, and we’re only at four…”
I kissed down her underwear, nuzzling her pussy from behind the cotton barrier. “Then we’ll wait, but you can still orgasm without penetration, right?”
She gave me that lazy smile that answered without using words. I smiled and returned my lips to her body.
I ended up kissing her until she fell asleep, and I gladly took a shift with Alex, walking around the room with her tiny body cradled in my arms. I watched the skyline of the city as I sang in Spanish. Her big round eyes just watched me in fascination. Taylor said they can’t really smile at this stage, that it was probably just gas…but every time Alex looked up at me, she smiled. It was like she knew who I was, even when I didn’t know who I was.
I loved her more than I could anything on this earth besides Taylor, but this love was so different. It was a roar in my chest, a war drum in my veins, demanding I protect her, keep her safe, and buy her anything she’d ever want in her entire life. I didn’t care what Taylor said…we’d get her whatever she wanted.
I ended the night watching both my girls sleep, and while they slumbered, something inside of me came alive.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Juan’s mothersat across from me with weary eyes and a frown that made her look decades older than she was. She’d been apologizing for the past half hour and had even brought me flowers and a baby gift for Alex.
“You think I’m bad for him?” I asked at about the fifteen-minute point, and that was when Anna switched gears from kissing my ass to being real with me. I always preferred that people be real; it saved time.
“I think you tied him to this life, and he didn’t want it,” Anna explained, her voice soft.