Page 77 of King of Hearts

“Daya, I’ve never done one of these,” the male paramedic said nervously.

“Patrick, seriously? Just get up there and help keep her leg up,” the female snapped, keeping her eyes in between Taylor’s legs. “She’s crowning. You need to push, Taylor, okay?”

Taylor nodded vigorously while biting her lip.

“You have to keep breathing, honey. I know it hurts. Keep breathing. Here, you, hold her leg in place, like he is.” She looked up at me, and I jolted into action, grabbing her knee cap. “That was a great push. Take a break, rest for a second, then we’re going to do it again, okay?”

Taylor rested her head against my chest. Her forehead and neck were sweaty, and all I wanted to do was grab a wet rag and wipe her down. Right as I thought it, I heard loud shouts and a few slamming drawers and doors from downstairs. I tensed for a second before my mother’s dark head of hair came into view.

Dressed in flannel pajamas, she walked in holding a bundle of dark towels and wash rags.

“Idiots, they know nothing of sheets and towels.”

She wasted no time in setting them down and moving toward the bathroom.

“Is that…” Taylor tried to catch her breath while trailing my mom with her eyes. “Is that your mom?”

“Here, wipe her brow with this. Keep her comfortable, Juan.” My mom walked over, chiding me. She worked at setting up what looked like a small Bluetooth speaker, and before I knew what was happening, peaceful music began to spill into the room, like something you’d hear in a spa. “This will help her relax. These lights are too much too. They have head lamps they can work with. Lessen the lights on her.”

I didn’t move, because I knew she was going to do it. I realized Taylor began laughing while tears streamed down her face. I felt a few tears begin to line my eyes too.

“Here we go, another big push, Taylor.”

My girl made some sound I could only describe as a war cry. It was loud and terrifying, but it was followed up by the sweetest sound in the entire goddamn universe.

“She’s beautiful, Taylor,” said the woman in between her legs in a happy sort of awe. The baby continued to cry while the EMT handed the baby to my mom.

My mom looked down on the baby with a reverence that had tears welling up.

“Preciosa.” She carefully set the baby on Taylor’s chest and then waited to be sure Taylor was looking her in the eye. “It means beautiful.”

“Hi, sweet girl.” Taylor smiled, dropping her gaze to her daughter.

My heart felt like it might explode. I stared at the tiny bundle in my girl’s arms, and with my head I knew she was hers, knew she wasn’t mine, but as I looked down at her and saw how perfect and small she was…something clicked in my heart, telling me this little girl was mine. She’d be mine her entire life. No one would ever take her from me. I loved her as much as I loved her mom, just in a vastly different way.

I bent down, pressing my lips to the baby’s head, letting my own tears fall. I was tired of fighting them. I was feeling so much and couldn’t hold them back anymore.

“Hi,preciosa.” I eyed Taylor to see if she realized it was the name I’d called her all those weeks ago when she thought I’d said cow. “Welcome to the world.”

“Alexandra…Alex for short,” Taylor whispered.

I smiled, rubbing a hand down Taylor’s back. “It’s perfect. It suits her.”

“Do you want me to clean her?” my mom offered, stepping close to us but still giving us space.

Taylor didn’t take her eyes off of Alex. “I want to hold her a little longer if that’s okay.”

“She’s yours—of course it’s okay.”

“I’ve never had anyone that was just mine…” Taylor whispered, keeping her eyes glued on her daughter’s.

My heart swelled again, thumping wildly to combat her statement. She had me. I was hers and no one else’s. I moved away from her to hold back the sensation. I needed to stop…she’d shut me down just hours earlier, showing me that she didn’t want this. Yet, two seconds into birth and I was ready to lay down my cards, showing her everything.

Alex stayed curled up against Taylor’s chest, and an on-call midwife stopped in. She went over about a million different things while the paramedics cleared out and my mom headed downstairs. I stayed next to Taylor, listening and trying to keep up with all the terminology, the fact that Taylor was going to need to be careful when she got out of the bed, and that she’d need to wear a big-ass ice pack in her underwear to help with the swelling and tearing.

She ended up having to help Taylor to the bathroom so she could check a few other things before she left, so I got to watch Alex. The midwife instructed me on how to hold her, the proper way to care for her head, and how to cradle her so she felt protected.

I sat in the chair over by the window and stared down at her while I rocked at a slow and careful pace.

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