Page 39 of King of Hearts

I continued on, moving over to the furthest target until I hit the center. I did the same with the far-right board, squeezing the trigger in quick succession until I was nailing the center over and over. Moving to the left, I began to aim at the third target stand, then a flash of something dark darted in front of the stapled paper.

My breath caught as the bullet released from the gun and the dark object that had swooped down at the wrong second fluttered to the ground. I lowered my gun and tugged out my earbuds, my breaths suddenly echoing loud in the silence. My feet were frozen as my eyes roamed the ground, falling on the brown lump near the three stands.

“Oh my god,” I murmured to myself, wishing so badly someone else was with me so I didn’t have to see the animal alone. Not again. I never wanted to do this again.

Tucking the headphones into my jacket pocket, I slowly began to walk toward the fallen animal. My heart thrashed in my chest like a rogue flame consuming a forest.

What had I done?

My knees bent as my free hand came out to cradle the bleeding creature. Bloody feathers caked my hand as I inspected the bird. He had a razor-sharp beak, a long neck, and large, golden eyes. He looked like one of the falcons I had seen at the zoo once, his talons massive and powerful.

“Why did you fly in front of me?” I blubbered, tears streaming down my face.

Once again, I’d gone back there to that room, staring at what my father had done.

“Papa, please don’t make me do this,” I begged.

“Shhh, enough now, Aurelia…this is a lesson. We need those in life sometimes. My hand will cover yours, so you know what to do,” he whispered in my ear as his large arm came around me.

“I don’t want to do this.” I eyed the dark wolf pup stranded in the center of the room. Around his neck was a rope, keeping him locked in place.

“You will do this. You are my daughter, and you won’t argue with me,” my father snapped, forcing my hand up, my tiny finger to the trigger. “Now, Aurelia. Pull back,” he ordered.

“I can’t,” I cried, tears lining my eyes, making it impossible to see.

“You will, and for defying me, you will stay in here with the creature once you’ve killed it.” His finger ghosted over mine, adding pressure, until a loud boom filled my ears. Seconds passed while the overhead lights flickered in and out. The room we were in was used for things I didn’t want to know about. The floor was stained red, and most of the walls too.

Our hands lowered, and all that was left was the puppy, bleeding out in the center of the room.

“You have excellent aim, értékes.”

My father walked out of the room and locked me in, but not before turning off the lights.

I sniffed as rain began to pour in buckets across my back and neck and through my hair. Ensuring the safety on the gun was flicked on, I put it in my jacket pocket and tried to pick up the bird. Maybe I could save him; I knew there were rehabilitation centers for birds who had broken wings and had been hit by cars. Hope fluttered in my chest, but just as fast, it left when the bird’s chest stopped moving.

“No. Please,” I begged with a small cry.

I was still that girl who murdered innocent animals.

I carried the bird to where the trees met the hill and buried him under three large rocks. Sobs racked my chest as I did it. At least with this animal, I was able to bury it. With all the others, I was never given the chance.

I partially hated myself for needing this stupid outlet of mine. Long ago, I had wanted to learn how to use a gun to protect myself and not be afraid of them. For so many years, I was afraid because of what my father had forced me to do, but now I just wanted the choice, the freedom to make my own decisions. I had come out here because of my fear, but also because of how I had handled the ultrasound situation, how I had lied to Juan about Holden. Somehow, I knew it must have felt like a slap to his face to tell him I had Holden. Even if Juan didn’t have feelings for me, he was very protective of me.

Swiping the tears from my face with the back of my jacket sleeve, I turned and headed back toward my car.

* * *

I was wrappedin a fluffy robe, standing in a dimly lit kitchen when the front door finally opened, and Juan walked in. He was soaked to the bone, his shirt stuck to his chest, and his hair was slicked back, revealing his dim eyes. He drew closer, which revealed dark circles under his eyes, making me pause. Had he not been sleeping?

After I was done walking around the clearing, I had trekked back to the car and driven home in the dark. Once I’d pulled into the driveway, I realized Juan wasn’t home, but once I had taken my phone off airplane mode, there were about thirty-five missed calls from him.

I hadn’t responded to a single one.

“You’re soaked,” I said as a form of greeting.

“Where the fuck have you been?” His chest heaved up and down, his eyes wide and full of panic.

The realization that he may have been worried about me made me feel foolish. I tucked a stray piece of wet hair behind my ear.

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