Page 24 of King of Hearts

One night, while drunk on the stars and the beauty of New York’s skyline, I had wondered what those eyes would look like on a baby girl and what kind of dad he’d be. I’d allowed myself thirty minutes to think rogue thoughts that would never do me any good, but still I thought them. I imagined what it would be like to be his wife and what kind of life it would be to have a husband who coached hockey for our kids or who built forts—or did anything my own father had not. The closest I’d ever come to having that was when Jakob had thrown a blanket over two chairs pulled together. It was during a thunderstorm, and I couldn’t stop crying.

He seemed to know exactly what to do to calm me down after tears stained my clothes and my throat had gone raw from calling for my father. I learned later that we’d experienced a hurricane, and I’d had no idea. I had just known it was the scariest thing I’d ever experienced in my life.

Juan flicked his fingers toward me. “You’re spilling out of that scrap of fabric—it’s barely covering your cunt, and your tits are one harsh wind away from showing.” Standing, he shoved his hands into his pockets but kept his eyes angled down at me. “So I’m wondering if you forgot that you gain weight with pregnancy…or are you just trying to show off?”

Since meeting Juan, I’d learned that my chest was an active volcano, the blood in my veins a fault line.

White-hot heat hit my chest as I processed his words, his arrogance, the fact that he’d never speak to my sister this way. He made me feel like I was worthless while making me feel like the only person to have ever captured his attention. For some reason, he brought out the worst in me. He brought out the girl who had hardened over time, the one who occasionally walked into the woods with a loaded gun.

He prodded me, knowing under this faux wool, a snout and maw of teeth ached for the taste of blood.

Instead of answering him, I sat up, exiting my raft with a dip into cool water, submerging myself completely in my effort to calm the fire in my lungs. Once my feet hit the bottom of the pool and I stood, my arms went back, my fingers tugging at the bow I’d tied at my spine.

As I crested each step and pulled myself free of the water, I let the sopping top fall to the cement, knowing my breasts were on full display to the asshole across the pool. I didn’t care. He wanted to make me feel dirty, like I should be ashamed. I wouldn’t give him the chance.

Once I cleared the steps, my fingers pushed down the material of my bottoms until I was stepping out of each leg.

“What in the fuck are you doing?” Juan’s flat tone floated to me as I picked up a fuzzy towel. My body shook with the need to cover myself, but I wouldn’t. Not yet.

I walked, drying my hair, leaving my nude body on display.

“You broke a rule…so I broke one.”

“We agreed that I could be honest,” he snapped, his hands out of his pockets, one of them blazing a trail through his hair, the other clenching at his side.

“You said you wouldn’t be mean. If you’re going to belittle me and make me feel like a whore, I’ll save you the time and be one.”

He smirked, his lips curving up in a delicious way. “Does that mean you’ll get on your knees for me?”

His eyes were still covered, but I could feel the heat from him as thick and intense as a furnace. I was just a toy to him, though, a fascinating hamster now stuck in his cage, a pet he could poke and prod as much as he pleased.

“Is that what you want?” I stepped closer, dragging a finger down my chest, feeling my skin pebble against the cooling air. “For me to pull your thick cock into my mouth and suck?”

Juan’s throat bobbed as he stared down at me.

I stepped closer. “You want to fist my hair while you slam your hips forward and shove your dick so far down my throat that I choke?”

Heat emanated from him, his jaw ticking, and I knew if I looked down, there’d be a bulge in his jeans.

Whispering, I said, “Because I’d never get on my knees for you…and I’d never allow you to touch me that way. You wouldn’t even know what to do with a girl like me, Juan. I’d ruin you.”

I walked off, finally tugging the towel around my torso, tucking in the sides. My fingers shook as I headed toward the sliding doors and took the stairs one at a time. My eyes burned with unshed tears, with fury at the one man who seemed to both light me on fire and burn me to ash.

Once inside my room, I showered and dressed, taking the time to blow-dry my hair and apply my makeup. I had realized long ago that my veins were black, my heart an inky stain, and my very blood a knot of ebony. Hatred seeped out of every pore as I tugged my cell up and entered the text that would seal my fate. The strength I’d found just one day prior had left, gone with the pin prick to my pride that Juan had delivered.

Me:I want to see you. I don’t want to talk…just need a release.

I set the phone back on the counter for untold minutes, hating the burn in my chest. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a doll, a tool to be tugged free from a cage whenever needed…a hollow instrument with no dreams or aspirations. I was empty, and while I had grown used to the numbness I usually felt during hookups, now as I rubbed the palm of my hand over my swelling bump, there was only heartache.

I stared at my reflection, my golden locks glossy and straight, my lips a soft pink, and my eyes guarded with fake lashes and dressed up with dark tones that made my blue eyes pop. A single tear traveled down my cheek as I stared at my ample cleavage and tan legs. The dress I’d chosen was short, even without a bump; now, it was miniscule, but I didn’t want Holden to have to work hard for what I needed from him.

A text came in as I grabbed my purse.

Holden:Come over…I’m alone tonight.

For some strange reason, I wanted him to deny me, wanted him to tell me we had to establish boundaries for our co-parenting to work in the future…but with that same desire, I also knew he never would and I would be doing this all alone.Until my father finds me.

Swiping at my face, I turned on my heel and exited my room.

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