Page 2 of King of Hearts

“What do you want me to say?” I moved away, straining my fingers against the air as if the invisible force could take away how good it had felt to have his body pressed against mine.

He made a sound, a scoff or something else that came from his sculpted chest. I wanted to spin on my heel and see if those lips had curved in that same sensual way they did when he tried to coax me into movie nights with his friends.

“So, you text me, tell me to come over, then make out with me the second I walk in…and you have nothing to say?”

He sounded like he was trying to clarify the situation, but I didn’t understand why. We had both been there. We both knew what had happened…he was just pissed that I wouldn’t explain the reason behind my actions. The fact that he wanted a reason made my heart swell.

I busied myself with digging through my purse, finding lip gloss then my phone. I had to push away the sensation that had flared, taking on a life of its own. I’d been obsessively daydreaming and regular nighttime dreaming about my sister’s best friend for four years, and since we would be going our separate ways after graduation, I felt like I had to make a move.

I had to because I’d written it down in my goal book.

Dream goal for the year: kiss Juan Hernandez before graduation.

That was literally the extent of my aspirations. Mallory, my stepsister, would have been horrified if she learned I had only dreamed of kissing a boy and not starting or running a business, or literally anything else beyond being wrapped in his arms for the rest of my life.

I was a terrible feminist.

My chance had finally arrived to make my move, by way of getting Juan’s number from my sister’s cell phone. I wasn’t proud of it, but I had stolen it while she was in the shower. Knowing Mallory was busy and Juan wasn’t, I had texted him, asking if he could come over and help me with something for Mal.

I’d lied.

Wasn’t the first time, but it was my first lie to the man I’d been crushing on for four years.

The plan was he’d come in, we’d talk and laugh, and I’d make him want me—like all the other guys seemed to without issue. Juan never seemed to be interested, though.

No matter how I dressed or how I acted, nothing would get him to look at me in any other way except as Mallory’s little sister. This would be my only chance. He knocked, I opened, and before either of us could say a word, I slammed my lips to his.

Thankfully, he didn’t push me away. I would have died if he had.

He froze for a second, those warm, silky lips firm against mine. A moment later, he groaned and moved into it, finding a rhythm with me. His tongue and lips moved against my mouth, his hands going to my hair, gripping and tugging with perfect pressure. It was everything I had dreamed it would be. The second he walked us back and pushed me against a wall, I knew I had gone too far.

I had to stop because all I had ever allowed myself to hope for from him was a kiss. There could never be more. That was why my random hookups worked so well for me. I enjoyed sex, and there were never any strings attached.

Juan was the only man I had ever allowed myself to dream about, and he wasn’t even aware of it.

The way he rubbed his lips now while looking at the ground, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe what he’d just done…it made something in my chest fold in on itself like a piece of junk mail, discarded and forgotten.

He was already moving toward the door, and my chest ached with the need to pull on his arm so he’d stay with me. No one ever stayed with me. I was always forgotten, and after a while I had gotten used to it, finding my own form of entertainment…but none of that was the same as having Juan’s body pressed against mine or the way his scent wrapped around me.

I felt as though a blood pressure cuff had been wrapped around my heart as I watched him open the door. A sound escaped my mouth, forcing Juan to pause with his hand on the knob.

I had one chance to say something to make him stop. He’d kissed me back, so there had to be a part of him that wanted me…right? Still, as I watched his tall frame slouch against the entrance, the only sound that came out of me was the rehearsed string of words that would act as a wall of protection for anyone I ever dared to care about.

“It was a mistake…I was waiting for Holden, thought you were him. Got a little carried away.”

I ducked my head. Tears burned the backs of my eyes as I bit back all the words I wanted to confess. I never would. Juan was the type of guy who would do the right thing and would actually want to date me—assuming he even cared about me in that way…but if he did, my father would find a way to kill him. My twenty-first birthday was at the end of the year, and no man in my life was safe.

Juan’s eyes flashed with hurt before his head canted in obvious frustration. His hand came up to rub at his smooth jaw, and I tried to commit it to memory, how good he looked standing in my house, there for me and not my stepsister.

“You know, I thought…” His eyes flicked to the carpet for a second before he collected himself. “I guess it doesn’t matter what I thought. You just proved me wrong.”

The door slammed shut as I blinked away a tear. I’d tuck it away like a carefully folded note, into the darkest places of my heart. One day, after I’d married Markos, I’d pull it out and look at how I could have loved Juan, how it could have been everything.

Chapter Two

MAY

A rushof adrenaline hit me in the chest as I pushed the silver key in and turned the lock. This wasn’t my house, not my door, and yet going inside always felt like home. Smirking at the teal color Mal had never wanted and the ridiculous wreath that hung on the front of the door, I pushed my way inside.

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