Page 74 of The Carver

Instead of interrogating me, she talked about music and having tea with her friends and her favorite bakery. All the stress I’d had when I walked in here started to fade away when I realized shewas a lovely person just like her son. Hard to believe she’d been married to a drug kingpin who exploited underage girls for free labor.

“I’m glad that my son’s career choice hasn’t deterred you.” The tone of the dinner seemed to shift when the main course arrived, roast chicken with fingerling potatoes and sauteed kale.

I tried to gather my response, debating on telling her the truth or saying what she wanted to hear. “It’s not ideal…but I know it’s a package deal.” Bastien told me he wouldn’t give up his lifestyle for anyone, that if a woman didn’t accept it, then she wasn’t the right person for him. I wasn’t sure what kind of future we had, but I didn’t want it to end before it had to.

I kept my eyes on my chicken so I wouldn’t have to see Bastien stare at me. I could certainly feel his look.

“Why does it bother you?” she asked.

Did she really just ask me that? “Well…wasn’t your husband killed because of his work?” I looked up from my dinner to see her guarded stare.

Like she was surprised I’d asked that.

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” I said. “I just…that’s something that scares me.” I didn’t tell her what had happened with Bastien in the restaurant a couple days ago. Didn’t want to frighten her when she’d already been through enough. “Honestly, I’d rather be with someone with a more…traditional lifestyle, but…” I’d dug myself a hole, and I didn’t know if I should try to go back or just keep digging deeper. “Bastien is the man I want.” I kept my stare focused on her because I didn’t want to see Bastien’s face. I was dancing close to the sun, and I knew if I got any closer, I was about to get burned.

“You didn’t offend me, dear.” She released a sigh, as if letting old memories wash over her like a gentle breeze. “Because you’re right. It’s something that troubles me every day. To lose a husband is terrible. But to lose a son…or more than one…is unspeakable. But this is the life the Duponts are destined for. We were always meant to live extraordinary lives. And with extraordinary lives come extraordinary risks.”

“Was your husband already in the business when you met him?”

“This business goes back three generations,” she said. “As the eldest son, he inherited this world. When we met, he hadn’t stepped into the role yet, but my family was involved in the criminal underworld as well, so it was easier for me to swallow. Our marriage was supported by both families, a royal fairy tale in some ways.”

“So this is the only life you know.” I said it more to myself than I did to her.

“You could say that,” she said. “It’s given me a life I have no place to complain about.”

I wasn’t drawn to Bastien because of his wealth. We could live in my little-ass apartment, and I’d be just fine with that. With a man like Bastien to call mine, I already felt like a billionaire. “That’s a good perspective.”

“Bastien tells me you work at the investment company?”

“Yeah, I’m an executive assistant to one of his guys.”

“He’s gay,” Bastien added like it was necessary to do so.

His mother tried to cover up the smirk that crept on to her lips. “Of course he is.”

“He’s nice,” I said. “Easy to work for.”

“Because he’s afraid Bastien will kill him.” Delphine said it with complete seriousness, no hint of a joke.

I sincerely hoped that was a joke.

Bastien didn’t smile either.

“Bastien also tells me…” Her eyes drifted away as she tried to approach the subject delicately, like divorce was an ugly word. “That you and your husband are separated.”

“Yes,” I said. “We’re getting divorced. He and I finally settled our differences, so it should be filed soon.” I’d never told Bastien about my conversation with Adrien. I thought bringing it up now would make him ask for details, but he didn’t question me, at least not in front of his mother.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I’m not,” I blurted. “Honestly, I’m glad he cheated on me.” Probably shouldn’t have said any of that, but it just toppled out of my mouth.

Delphine watched me, clearly wanting to press for more but too polite to do so. “I have a number of girlfriends who are divorced. I’ve never heard a single one of them say something like that.”

“Mom.” Bastien didn’t raise his voice, but his tone was lethal.

“I just mean if he hadn’t cheated, then I wouldn’t have found Bastien,” I said. “I’ve only known Bastien for a few months and it hasn’t always been the smoothest, but I’m a lot happier with him than I ever was with whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is.” After the last conversation I’d had with Adrien, I shouldn’t harbor so much anger toward him, but even though I’d moved on withsomeone else, it didn’t mean I wasn’t still mad about what he did. He was my best friend, and he still betrayed me—and I’d never forgive him for that. For making me feel so worthless.

I felt Bastien’s hot stare on my face, felt it pierce me with its intensity.

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