Page 52 of The Carver

I stepped back. “What the fuck are you doing?”

He stilled, all his joy quickly erased by confusion. “I—I’m sorry.” He took a few steps back, his mood noticeably souring when he didn’t get what he wanted.

I looked at the wall where the picture had been, its absence noticeable because of the empty space. “Looks like I’m not the only one ready for a new chapter.”

His eyes followed mine. “It’s not what it looks like. It fell and broke. I’m getting it reframed.”

“It just fell?” I asked skeptically. “An invisible earthquake came through?”

He sighed. “I didn’t take it down, Fleur. But I would be lying if I said I wasn’t pleased that you’re offended by the thought of me taking it down. That means there’s still something here.”

“You misunderstand me. If you’re taking down our wedding photo to hide it from the women you invite over but you won’t give me a divorce, that pisses me the fuck off. Don’t make me jump through hoops, Adrien.”

“That’s not what’s happening.”

“Whatever. It doesn’t matter.” I wasn’t going to argue with a liar. “I need that divorce.”

“Our next mediation is in three weeks?—”

“I want it now,” I demanded. “No more games. No more procrastination. Just give me the fucking divorce.”

He watched me for a while, a blanket of fear masking his face. He swallowed before he spoke. “What’s the rush?”

“That’s my business.”

“Are you going to marry this guy or something?”

“Adrien, we aren’t getting back together. Do you understand that? Because I don’t think you do.”

He continued his stare, looking dead behind the eyes. “I told you he’s not good for you.”

“You were supposed to be, and look how that turned out,” I snapped. “Whether Bastien is in my life or not, I’m never going back to you. So stop with the games, and let’s just finish this.”

“What’s the rush?” he repeated.

“I said it’s none of your business.”

Despite his best efforts to appear calm, he lost his footing. “Did he ask you to marry him?”

“Adrien.”

“Answer me.”

“I’ve gone into this relationship with Bastien with restraint, and I don’t want to feel restrained anymore. I don’t want to be married anymore. I want to be divorced, I want to put this behind me, and I want to be fully invested in my new relationship. But that’s hard to do when I know I’m technically married to you.”

“It’s hard because you still feel something for me.”

“Trust me, that’s not the case,” I insisted. “I want to close this chapter in my life and open a new one with Bastien. The relationship is new and I’m in no hurry to rush to the finish line, but I want to be ready for when that moment comes.”

All he could do was stare at me, his deepened breaths visible as the discomfort took hold. He looked more forlorn than when I moved out, when he’d told me there had been more women than Cecilia. He knew he was about to lose me for good, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. “Fleur, I don’t want to lose you.”

Maybe I was crazy, but in that moment, I actually pitied him. “Adrien, I know it’s hard to let go, but I’m already gone. Even if I wanted to forgive you and work on the relationship, I can’t.”

“Why?” he whispered.

I thought the reason was obvious. “Because I’m in love with someone else.” They were words I couldn’t even admit to myself, and no way in hell could I ever say them to Bastien, not when he would swallow me whole. But I could say them to Adrien because…he needed to hear them. He needed this truth, no matter how painful, for closure.

He clenched his eyes shut like that would somehow block out the sound of my words. His face was already pale when it was normally tanned, but now he looked on the verge of being sick. It reminded me of the way I’d looked when Cecilia told me about his infidelity, how I’d looked every day for a month when I lived in that small apartment and cried myself to sleep every night. This moment should taste like vindictive revenge, but it was so bland I couldn’t taste it. The last thing I wanted was to inflict that kind of pain on anyone, even him.

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