Page 77 of Baneful Magick

Aizel sighed. “She should have stayed and let you explain, but you’re right. You fucked up.”

“Thanks,” I told him wryly.

“You’re welcome,” he deadpanned. “So… what are you going to do about it?”

“Get my shit together and hope she listens to me when I see her again.” I rubbed my face. “I need a shower. I need to get the remnants of my dream out of my mind.”

“Dream?”

“Her,” I spat out, hating the quiver of fear present in that single word.

“She can’t get to us here,” he reassured me, gaze hardening. “And if she gets anywhere near you, she’ll only live long enough to regret it.”

I nodded, appreciating his reassurance but not believing it. Aizel left soon after, and I hurried into the bathroom, only letting myself break down once I was under the hot spray of the shower.

My attraction to Isla had hit the moment I saw her, but my fear and anger toward women was wrapped up in that. Well, my anger and fear toward my mother. She was sickly twisted into so many things in my psyche that I was worried I’d taint anyone I was with.

The things she had done to me… the things she had made me do.

I shuddered. If only there was something to take the pain away, but I knew from experience that everything was just a temporary relief. Not even my mind was a safe place to be.

I just hoped I could get Isla to understand, to forgive me. Hopefully, we’d still be friends when I was done or maybe even more, but I wasn’t foolish enough to put stock in that wish.

The lounge wasquiet even though Zhara and Aizel sat with me. We were all waiting for Isla to come in. Wells had joined us too, coming as soon as he heard that Isla was okay but missing.

He sat on the couch beside me, gaze bouncing between me and the door.

I watched him watch me, small sparks of enjoyment peeking through whenever his cheeks flushed or he pretended like he was staring off in space. Part of me wanted to ask what he was thinking, but I was too worried and anxious about seeing Isla again to really let myself get carried away with thinking of Wells.

It was dinnertime when Isla walked into the dorm. Her face was pale, and she came to a dead stop at the sight of us. The hints of bruises and scrapes on her face made me wince, but they didn’t seem to be bothering her.

“Is this some type of intervention or something? Because I honestly don’t know what I could have done to warrant this level of attention,” she said to all of us. Aizel sighed with relief as Zhara chuckled. Wells remained quiet, but there was palpable relief radiating from him.

Laughing softly, I stood up, walking around Wells to get to her. Thankfully, she didn’t look scared by my approach. Unsure, yes, but not afraid. I could work with uncertainty.

“They wanted to see with their own eyes that you were okay,” I told her with a half-smile. “And I wanted to talk to you… if that’s alright with you.”

She looked up at me, chewing her bottom lip, before nodding sharply. “But I need dinner after. I’m starving.”

She pulled me into her room, shutting the door behind us and telling me to make myself at home. I sat down on the edge of her bed while she rushed to the bathroom and came out a few minutes later.

“First, I wanted to say I’m sorry,” I told her softly. I wanted to reach out, to touch her, but I didn’t know if she’d welcome the contact or shy away. “I shouldn’t have been an asshole and dodged your question earlier. I just… There was a lot going through my mind, and I think I just needed time to sort through everything. I should have just said that instead of being a smart ass.”

Isla’s shoulders slumped as she nodded. She didn’t sit down beside me. In fact, she almost seemed more nervous than before.

“I appreciate the apology,” she said after a deep breath. “I get needing time to figure things out, though. It’s not as if we’ve known each other for long, and the rut was… intense.”

I nodded slowly, watching her thoughtfully. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Not any more than I wanted to be,” she said with a half-smile. Before she finished her reply, she went over to her dresser and started to look through the drawers. Her movements became more agitated as she went from one drawer to the next. “Sorry, I was going to wear my gloves, but I haven’t been able to find them anywhere. Anyway, focusing, sorry. Apology accepted. So we’re good?”

“I hope so,” I told her. Relief filled me when she smiled, a real one that reached her eyes. “But I did… I did want to talk to you about the rut.”

She was rifling through a few things, but she paused to shoot me a look over her shoulder, eyebrows raised.

“I like you,” I told her, hoping like hell I wasn’t fucking things up for the second time today. “As more than just a friend. So this is me asking you on a date. I figured if you can put up with my bullshit with the rut, then dinner shouldn’t be too bad,” I rambled.

Isla didn’t turn to face me, but every muscle tensed until she inhaled deeply. After an eternal moment, she turned in my direction with a gentle expression that I hated on sight.

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