Page 21 of His Secret Obsession

“Right. Well, goodnight.”

I watch him walk up the stairs, relieved that maybe he finally wants to bridge some of the distance between us.

Maybe Maddie was right. Maybe I’ve been in the guardian role for so long that I’ve forgotten how to be the big brother he needs.

But I can’t help but wonder—what could he need time away from?

Maddison

Here’s the thing about coming to terms with a crumbling relationship: sometimes it’s easier to cling to the status quo than it is to ask for more. With every day that passes, the distance between Luke and me becomes insurmountable. The days where we used to hold hands and go on coffee dates together are long gone. These days, we mostly ignore each other. I’m slowly accepting that he’s no longer in love with me. Just as I’ve been trying to accept the fact that my love for him isn’t as infallible as I once thought it was.

Closing the back door behind me, I shiver and run a hand down my bare arms. It’s the tail-end of fall, and now that the sun has disappeared, the air feels chilly. It’s a little late in the year to be having a cookout, but there’s no way we could comfortably fit everyone inside. As I will my body to warm up, the mingled laughter of Luke’s friends drifts in through the closed door. Tonight will be his last night at home and, in the morning, he’ll leave for his new job.

For three months.

Initially, I wanted us to spend this time alone. But Luke insisted that he invite our—his—friends over for a party. Now I’m just relieved I don’t have to spend the night pretending I’m still upset over his upcoming absence. If anything, I’m mostly angry at the idea of being forced to spend three awkward months with Jax. Spotting Luke’s gray jacket hanging over a kitchen chair, I grab it and slip it on. I sigh at the immediate sense of warmth and safety before making my way to the refrigerator with my empty wine glass.

I top my glass off before ambling over to the kitchen window. His friends laugh and joke while Luke flips burgers on the grill, a wide grin splitting his face. His blonde hair is pulled into a bun, one lone strand resting on the side of his cheek.

I know I need to break things off before he leaves tomorrow, but I haven’t been able to find the words yet. Although we’ll be able to call each other as much as we want, I don’t want to do this over the phone. He deserves a face-to-face conversation. A clean break. Despite the rocky status of our relationship right now, we’ve had good times. Part of me will always hold some affection for him, and I don’t want to string him along for three months.

“You look like you’re trying to butcher another word to pass off as a real thing.” Jax’s voice cuts through the silence, his sudden appearance making my heart leap into my throat. I jump, my hand flying up to rest over my chest as I yelp. When myhead whips toward him, it’s impossible to miss the amusement dancing in his eyes.

“That’s not funny,” I mutter, my lips twitching despite my words.

“It’s a little funny,” he says, grinning as he pinches his index finger and thumb together.

I snort.

His bare feet shuffle along the floor as he makes his way towards me, not stopping until we’re shoulder-to-shoulder. His gaze finds the kitchen window next to me. The proximity makes my mouth go dry.

Things have been…weird between us.

One thing I do know for sure: if I truly loved Luke, I would have called Jax out instead of allowing him to watch his little brother fuck me. The feeling of his eyes on me wouldn’t have sent a tremble of excitement through my limbs. Watching that big hand wrap around his cock wouldn’t have had me mesmerized and aching for more. I wouldn’t have imagined it was his cock I was riding and not Luke’s.

And I certainly wouldn’t have butterflies in my stomach just because he’s standing next to me in a white shirt and gray sweatpants with his big, capable hands resting so close to mine.

Maybe Luke hasn’t been the best partner, but I’m certainly no saint either.

“I can leave,” I whisper.

His head snaps back to me, his eyebrows pinching together. “What?”

“After Luke heads off for his new job tomorrow.” I falter for a moment, my nerves almost getting the best of me as I tug my bottom lip between my teeth. Staring out the window, I refuse to meet his gaze. I watch as people mill around the yard instead, laughing as they drink. “Maybe it would be better if I stay with my aunt in Crestwood Heights for a while.”

I’m going to break up with Luke anyway. I definitely can’t stay here with Jax. Right?

“But he asked me to keep an eye on you.”

He says it simply, like that’s all there is to it. Nothing else to discuss. The disappointment that it conjures feels bittersweet. I know I have no right to feel this way, but I wish he would tell me he wants me to stay for his own selfish reasons. I wish he would admit he doesn’t dislike me and he never really has. That he feels this chemistry that’s always crackling between us.

But I can’t want those things.

“So, you’re going to tolerate my presence for Luke’s sake?” I give him a flat stare.

“What? No, that’s not what I meant,” Jax replies, his voice sounding tired. “Just stay here, okay?” He braces both hands on the counter in front of his body. “Just…stay here.”

Movement catches my eyes, and I look down. His fingers tremble as his hand slides closer to mine, making my breath hitch. His pinky finger reaches out, grazing along mine in a touch so light I can barely feel it. Blood rushes through my ears, my pulse quickening. It’s the only confirmation I’m going to get that Jax has his own reasons for wanting me to stay that have nothing to do with Luke, but it’s enough.

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