Page 85 of His Secret Obsession

I suck in a deep breath, my hand reaching up to capture his wrist. Body leaning towards his, I scoot across my seat until our thighs press together. I breathe in his familiar scent, letting it comfort me while he continues his story.

“It was shocking to see you again, but I realized pretty quickly you had no clue who I was. And you seemed happy. I didn’t want that to change. I didn’t want to ruin your night out, and I wanted to get to know you.” He tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear, his breath fanning over my cheeks. “So, I didn’t say anything.”

“I thought you were just a handsome stranger,” I whisper.

His lips quirk. “You thought I was handsome?”

I roll my eyes. His forehead rests against mine, and I stare into the intensity of those beautiful, green irises.

“I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen,” he says. He shakes his head, leaning away and taking his warmth with him. I resist the urge to pull him back to me. “I knew you were younger than me, but until that cop told you to go home to your aunt, I never even thought to ask for your age.”

“I didn’t care that you were older,” I admit.

He gives me an exasperated smile. “I know,” he begins, blowing out a long breath. “But I did, Maddie. I didn’t want to be a conquest to you or a one-night stand or…whatever. I wantedyou. But I didn’t want to hold you back or make you endure everyone’s judgment. At the time, I thought walking away from you was the right thing. But I also…didn’t want you to regret me.”

“I could never regret you.”

It’s an echo of the statement he purred into my ear, but his self-deprecating smile tells me he doesn’t believe me, and it makes me want to shake him. If he saw himself the way I saw him, he wouldn’t doubt his self-worth. But I let it go for now.

“After that night, I tried to forget about you. I really did. But you are not the kind of woman that can be forgotten, Maddie. I could live to be so old I forget my own name, and even then, I would still be thinking about you.” He reaches forward, his fingers sliding an errant strand of hair behind my ear. The pressure returns behind my eyes, and I blink it away again.

“I thought about you. too.”

At this, he looks surprised. A sort of cautious hope fills his eyes. “Yeah?”

“For a very long time. I wondered how you were doing and if you thought of me.” I shrug, giving him a sheepish smile. “I also thought it was crazy that I couldn’t just…forget.” I don’t add on that when I met Luke through a friend of a friend at a party on campus, he initially piqued my interest because something about him reminded me of Jax.

I laugh quietly. “I was so shocked when Luke introduced us.”

He shakes his head, his own quiet laughter filling the space between us, before growing silent and pensive again. “I sorta stalked your social media for a while.”

“You did?”

He gives me an affirmative hum. Then he shifts in his seat, his eyes darting away. His fingers drum on the steering wheel, and he looks…nervous? “I was waiting for you.” The words are mumbled so quietly I have to strain my ears to catch them all.

My heart thumps. “What?”

“I was going to find you again. After you turned twenty.”

The words settle between us as I gawk at him, the weight of them making the air thick. “I—you were?” I stammer, my mouth feeling dry. My heart squeezes as I think back to that day, calculating… “I was only a few months away from my birthday when I started dating Luke.” I remember because he took me out to a really nice restaurant and they brought out a chocolate cupcake covered in fluffy, pink frosting with candles.

“I thought maybe the age difference wouldn’t matter so much if you were twenty and…” He shrugs. A long, uncomfortable moment of silence stretches between us as I digest what this means.

“And then it didn’t matter because I was with Luke,” I finish weakly. His eyes are downcast when he nods, and my heart twists.

Fuck.

He laughs, although it’s bitter and completely devoid of any real humor. “And you want to know the funny thing about it?” I’m still reeling from this new influx of information, too shocked to answer him. But I don’t need to. “If it had been anybody else, it wouldn’t have mattered. Not to me. That’s how I know I’m a shitty person, because if it had been anybody else besides my own damn brother, I would have still pursued you.”

He gnaws on his bottom lip, silently studying me. His voice is raw and unfiltered when he speaks again. “You could have been married, and I still would have asked you to give me a chance. That’s how gone I was for you. But my brother?” He closes his eyes, his head thumping against the headrest. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.

“Without even knowing it, you managed to find the one, singular person on this Earth I wouldn’t fuck over just to haveyou.” He gives a harsh, bitter laugh. “While you were busy falling in love with my brother, I was falling in love withyou.”

My hand comes up to rest over my pounding heart. “I thought after the way things ended that you weren’t even interested in me anymore. You were always so distant, I convinced myself it didn’t mean anything.”

I could have had him this entire time if I hadn’t crossed paths with his brother first. How cruel is that?

He makes a pained grunt. “I’m sorry I ever made you feel that way.” He releases a shaky sigh before gently cradling my cheek in his palm. “I know now that I was an asshole, but for a long time, I thought if I just ignored you long enough, my feelings would go away. I tried to stop noticing you. For years, I tried. And I never failed so fucking miserably at anything as I did at trying to forget you.” He blinks then, his lips trembling as his eyes shimmer with unshed tears. “I have nevernotwanted you.”

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