Page 77 of His Secret Obsession

“Can we please change the subject?”

“No.”

I roll my eyes.

“Jax, I have always admired the way you stepped in and took care of him when your father died. Luke may not have always had an easy life, but you made sure he had everything he needed. But you overcompensated, trying to make up for him not havingany parents. You put his needs first, and you’re still doing it. Stepping aside so he can have whatever he wants. I think it’s time you let him grow up a little. Maybe be a little selfish for once and think about whatyouwant out of life.”

“It’s not like that,” I grit out.

She arches a perfectly-shaped eyebrow.

“He never got to have a mother, and he barely remembers our father.” I tap the front of my chest. “I had to take that role on, and I was too young to even know what the hell I was doing. But I’m supposed to be the person who is there for him, always in his corner. And I failed him.” I ball my hands into fists, lowering them onto my lap so she doesn’t see the way they tremble. There’s a thick lump in my throat now.

Her eyes soften. “You didn’t fail him, Jax. But we can’t always protect those we love from the hardships of life, and I don’t think you should sacrifice your own well-being and happiness just to make him a little more comfortable.” She shakes her head, her tone turning firm again. “The two of you cater to him like he’s not capable of handling his big boy feelings. He’s a grown man, not an adolescent child.”

Bringing my hands to my temples, I close my eyes and try to rub away the headache forming there. I hear Mary get up and move away, a quiet rattling making me open my eyes again. She sets down a bottle of ibuprofen next to me, her hand gently resting atop my shoulder.

“I’m not trying to bust your balls, kid.”

I snort.

“I’m just not sure if you realize you’re about to let the love of your life get away.”

My heart stumbles, and I suck in a sharp breath. Her words feel like a sucker punch, and yet…Yeah, Maddison Raddix is the love of my life. But I knew that already, didn’t I?

“After all the history, all the years spent pinning…are you going to let her be the one that got away?”

I think about what my life could be like years down the road, and realize I simply cannot picture a future without Maddie. Anything else seems bleak and depressing, like living a half-life. I’ve spent so long trying to stay away from her, I hadn’t realized just how much she had seeped through the cracks anyway. How much she’s brightened my life.

But Luke…I remember nights when he used to wake up after a bad dream and crawl into bed next to me with snot running down his chin. Then there were the mornings I walked him to the bus stop after sneaking vegetables into his lunch bag. Although I internally freaked the fuck out when I became his guardian overnight, wanting to protect him felt natural. A little more than a big brother but not quite a father figure either. But somehow it worked for us, and I love him. Even if he doesn’t quite love me right now.

Then there’s Maddie. The perfect mixture of softness and sass, a woman who experienced tragedy at a young age but keeps her chin up anyway. A woman who loves the way I dominate her in the bedroom yet doesn’t hesitate to put me in my place when I’m being overly protective. I’ve never been able to talk and laugh for hours with another person like I have with her.

“Where is the man who evacuated an entire building because I was on a date with someone else?”

Shit, she was right. So, so right.

I’ve never been one to let fear get in the way. And yet, that’s exactly what happened here. I let them both walk out of my house that day when I should have been bulldozing through their defenses.

The only question is: how do I get them both back?

Maddison

“The clients are not going to ring up themselves, Maddison,” Irene hisses. Even through the crackling of the phone speaker, I can hear the low thrum of anger in her voice. I have really tested her patience this time by calling out three days in a row with no doctor’s excuse. Actually, I’m pretty sure the only reason she’s let me get away with it this long is because I broke down in tears that first morning.

I’m apparently not going to get away with calling in for a fourth day.

Finally pulling myself out of bed, I listen to Irene berate me for a few minutes before telling her I’ll be there—late—but I’ll be there. She begins to berate me some more, but I hang up on her.

I grimace when I spot my reflection in the mirror: dark circles under red, swollen eyes, tangled hair, and rumpled clothes. After a quick shower and a lot of make-up, I look almost presentable. With a tiny smirk, I break one of Irene’s cardinal rules by donning a pair of flats instead of the high-heels she insists we torture ourselves with.

Locking Hazel’s front door behind me, I grab a flier for a vacant apartment in the lobby and speed walk to my car. But of course, I hit every traffic light on my way to work and get stuck behind a car going well under the speed limit.

As I make my way inside the sickly sweet-scented store, Irene murmurs something derogatory about my work ethic. I pretend not to hear her, instead winking at Hazel as she eyeballs my shoes with a delightful smirk. She squeezes my shoulder as I slide past her and take my place at the next register. I catch her glancing over occasionally as we work, giving me concerned expressions. But to her credit, she doesn’t ask if I’m okay. She knows I’m not.

I’m heartbroken.

I miss him so much that it physically hurts.

---