Page 72 of His Secret Obsession

“The wrong brother.” He makes a garbled noise, something that sounds like a cross between a stifled whimper and a pained moan. Standing, he shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

I push myself off the doorway and slowly approach him. “I already told you once that Luke and I are done.”

“That’s not what he thinks.”

“I’m pretty sure he gets it now.”

The shuffling movements of my feet don’t stop until I’m standing directly in front of him, both of us next to the wall in front of the bottom step. My hands reach up to frame his face, my thumbs softly brushing across the scratchy stubble along his jaw as his hands gently circle my wrists.

“I know what you said but when you love someone for that long, it’s hard to walk away. There’s a lot of history between you two, and he’s not ten years older than you.” He scoffs, a bitter laugh rising from his throat. “You wouldn’t have to be his dirty little secret.”

My heart twists as I shake my head, blinking rapidly. “It’s easy because I’m not in love with him,” I say, my voice cracking.

Jax sucks in a sharp breath, his expression one of hope.

And heartbreak.

And disbelief.

“I know it’s asking a lot, but we could just tell him everything.” My stomach drops at the stricken look on Jax’s face, some of the color leaching from his skin. My heart begins to pound wildly,but I forge ahead. “I know it’s scary and risky, but I think he will get over it. He’ll be mad at first, but he’ll forgive us eventually.”

Jax’s mouth opens and then closes again. He takes a step back, pushing a hand through his hair with a groan before leaning against the wall and closing his eyes.

Damnit. He loves me. Iknowhe does. And maybe I should have figured it out sooner, but the signs are clear to me now. He hasn’t said as much but over the last few weeks, he might as well have been screaming it through his actions. It’s evident in the softness of his eyes when he stares at me, the way he gathers me into his arms as we sleep, the way he puts my pleasure before his own, and the way he rushes out into a snowstorm to come find me. But there’s one very important question. Is it enough to give us a fighting chance?

“I’m just asking—” I stop, taking a deep breath when my voice trembles. His eyes open, finding my face with a pained expression. “We don’t have to tell him right away. We can give him some time and space first. But just…don’t give up on us,” I say. When he continues giving me that saddened, kicked-puppy look, some of my hope dries up. It floods me with desperation, and the rush of panic makes me want to scream.

Which, in turn, makes me irrationally angry.

I grit my teeth. “Where is the man who evacuated an entire building because I was on a date with someone else?” Leaning forward, I tap a finger over his heart. “I know you’re afraid of losing your brother, but I also know that he admires the hell out of you. And I think you need to trust that his love isn’t that fickle.”

“I am afraid of losing him, but I’m also afraid of losing you. And I don’t know what the right thing to do is.” He grabs my hand, placing my palm flat to his chest. Beneath it, I can feel the steady thumping of his heartbeat. His thumb strokes soothing circles over the scar on my wrist.

But he still has that desperate, wild look that makes me want to scream.

“What if I can’t have both of you? You are the two most important people in my life. What happens when I’m forced to pick?”

Pressure builds in the corners of my eyes, the unshed tears blurring my vision and obscuring my view. A couple tears finally slip down my cheek, and Jax’s thumb swipes them away. He looks like he wants to kick himself.

“Please don’t cry, baby.” He presses his forehead to mine, our breaths mingling as his hand cups the back of my neck. His eyes squeeze shut, his lips trembling. “Fuck. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I shouldn’t have been so selfish. If I had just kept my damn hands off of you, none of this would be happening right now.”

More tears slip down my cheeks, his words sending a fissure of a crack through my heart.

“I’m not ready to let you go,” I rasp. My fingers cling onto his shirt, pulling him closer to me. “You’re not the only selfish one here. I could have walked away too. But I kept letting myself get drawn to you, even knowing I could destroy your relationship with the only family you have. Every touch and look only made me want more. Hell, I still want more.”

“Shhh, baby.” His lips find mine, brushing tentatively at first before parting slightly. Pressing my body against his, I revel in the warmth radiating off of him, his soft breaths tickling just beneath my nose, and his fingers threading through my hair. When he begins to pull away, I tighten my grip and pull him back. A petulant sort of groaned protest spills from my throat, and Jax’s lips curve against mine.

Ineedhim. I need him to touch me, to prove that this thing between us isn’t over. That it’s still real. A spike of arousal heats my blood, and I nip at his bottom lip. He growls, his hands sliding down to cup my ass and pull me against him. When Igrind myself over his thickening erection, his precious control snaps.

I’m spun around, my body thrust against the wall hard enough to wrench a gasp from the back of my throat. Jax’s hand cups the back of my head, a barrier between me and the hard surface. “If you need something from me, then you say it.” His voice is a gravelly, hoarse command that sends a lick of heat up my spine. Then his teeth are nipping at my jaw, gliding down to suck on my neck as his hips grind me into the wall. My frantic fingers reach underneath the hem of his shirt, my palms moving over toned muscles.

You. I need you right now. Make me forget that the odds are stacked against us.

“You don’t get my cock unless you ask nicely,” he taunts.

“I want your cock.”

He gives me an appreciative groan.

---