Page 54 of Little Dove

This feels wrong. This whole fucking thing feels wrong. I don’t want to be in here, and I don’t want Lazaro to be punished by his boss because of something I did. Pietro is probably angry that Lazaro is letting me get away, or thinks he’s hurting me or something. I don’t know, but this whole situation is a mess, and I have a decision to make.

Lazaro’s words from the dining room earlier come back to me.“I will be the one you reach for when you need assistance or comfort.”The roles are kind of being reversed right now, but I have the urge to give him that. Barring tonight’s whole event in the dining room, every other time, Lazaro has been there for me, ready to protect me at all costs. And right now, as much as he probably wants to do the same, he can’t. Not with his boss here, a man who could very well decide to end his life if he wants.

I might be making a huge mistake, but I force myself to turn back to Pietro, steel my spine, and tell him simply, “Lazaro’s right, we’ll figure this out amongst ourselves.”

Pietro doesn’t react other than to arch a brow as he regards me. I can feel the tension from Lazaro, but he says nothing. I chance looking over at Aurelio, and I force myself not to react when he gives me a sharp nod of approval. Alright, so at least I don’t have to worry about him. I turn back to Pietro, and he gives me a thoughtful look before glancing at Lazaro briefly and then back to me. “If you are sure,cara,” he says slowly with a nod. Then he gets to his feet, as do I.

“I’m sure,” I say it firmly, then reach down to get the bag, and turn toward Lazaro. He doesn’t move immediately, staring at me with an unreadable expression. I hold his gaze, then reach out my hand to him. He instantly moves to take it, but then comes around to take the bag from my hand. We head for the door, but stop when Aurelio steps forward.

I tense, but Lazaro squeezes my hand reassuringly. “Well done,cara mia,” he says softly as he reaches for the door. “It’llbe a joy to have you in the family.” He leans down to press a kiss to my cheek before stepping back and opening the door.

I look up at him in shock, but Lazaro gently tugs me out of the room, and I force myself to look away. Neither Lazaro nor I say anything, and I don’t even glance at Mario who is stationed just outside Lazaro’s room. Lazaro says something to him in Italian; Mario glances at me, nods, and then walks away. Lazaro leads me inside the bedroom and shuts the door behind us. He tosses the bag aside before he turns to me, and before I can say anything, he has me up in his arms with my back against the door, his face inches from mine.

My heart pounds in my chest as I stare into his eyes. I can’t quite get a read on what is shining out at me. Anger? Relief? Desperation? A mixture of all of them and whatever other emotions might be rolling around in there?

It’s another few seconds of tense silence before Lazaro speaks softly. “I’m sorry, Amara.” Nothing else. No excuses, no justifications, just three simple words, full of sincerity.

I give a small nod, watching him. I guess it’s my turn. “I’m s?—”

“No,” he interrupts swiftly. I snap my mouth closed and narrow my eyes. “You have nothing to apologize to me for, Amara,” he continues. “I’m the one acting like an idiot, not you. So, no, you won’t be apologizing to me.”

“But—”

“No.”

“Fine.” I huff. “Now, would you like to tell me why you have me up here? If you want to figure this out, this feels very unfair.”

“Air jail,” he replies with a smirk.

A short burst of laughter escapes me before I can stop it. Damn it, aren’t I supposed to be all stoic and shit? Then he goes and makes a joke. “Something tells me I’m going to regret telling you about that.”

“It’s handy for when I want your full attention, but yes, I want to figure this out, Amara.”

“Then put me down, and we’ll discuss this like adults. Not like you’re holding me in the air for time out.” He chuckles, but he eases back and carefully sets me on my feet. “Good. Now, just so we’re clear, I was going to apologize for the nut punch again, but since you won’t allow me to apologize to you, I’ll have to offer the sentiment to your brother.”

Lazaro’s eyes narrow, but he simply says, “We’ll talk about that soon enough, but he’s fine. It’s not the first time he’s been hit in the balls, and it won’t be the last. Especially being this close to Sofia. It’s her go-to move when she can’t get to a weapon fast enough.”

Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me, but still, I feel a bit guilty now that I’m not as angry. At least Pietro and Aurelio didn’t see me do it, or that’d be a whole other kind of discussion I probably couldn’t easily walk away from.

“I’m still apologizing to him.”

“Fine.” He moves away from me, unbuttoning his cuffs and rolling up his sleeves to the elbows, baring his forearms and all that ink. Momentarily distracted, I stare at him, before I see his quick grin of amusement and I force myself to look away. Damn it. “Why did you tell Pietro that you wanted to work it out between us?”

The question throws me, and I look up at him in surprise. That wasn’t what I thought he’d ask. “Because it felt wrong. Partly because he’s the Don and he doesn’t need to be bothered about this kind of thing, but also because…” I trail off, not sure how to accurately explain what I was feeling.

“Because?” Lazaro prompts, watching me.

I fight not to squirm.Come on, Amara, put on your big girl pants. Just spit it out.

“Because you told me that when I had issues, you wanted me to go to you, and have you fix them,” I finally blurt out. “And even though I don’t need you to fix my problems, because as far as I see it, there isn’t one, you’ve been the only constant in the last few days and this entire fucked-up situation. And damn it, Lazaro, you’re the only one that I want to trust right now. I’m surrounded by a bunch of people that I don’t know, the majority of whom are men, and family that I never knew I had until a few days ago. That means that whatever the issue is between us, we need to figure it the hell out because I don’t want to feel all alone here. I want someone in my corner for fucking once, and it has to be you because I don’t want anyone else. I just need you, Lazaro, and it scares the shit out of me.”

I stare at him, so many feelings swirling in my mind, but it’s true. It’s utterly terrifying, but I don’t want to take it back.

18

LAZARO

Elation fillsme at her words, but I can’t allow it to show. Not yet. There’s still far too much for the two of us to figure out, but we’re almost there. It’s within my grasp, and I just need to be patient a little bit longer. I’ve gone about this the wrong way, and one misstep will shatter any progress we’re working toward now.

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